For God sake don't do this to your girl friend
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"Friends". This word means just love, trust, affection, faith, belief, passion, assurance and confidence in relationship. These all words are synonyms of the word" friends" to me. And not only to me, millions of girls and Of course, if not to millions but even to hundred thousands of boys. But remember, what you do say to your friends if you have a fight with them over some issues. Don't you say "Friends". Is the meaning of both words is same? "Friends" in the begining and "friends" after a mishap. Be careful.
Exceptions are always there. Theme of this article is woven around those few who have taken undue advantage of this pure and holy relationship.
Friendship, a very sweet and touching word, particularly at young age and has a deep sense of proximity, and closeness, especially to those who are relatively more emotional than others of similar age group. For some people, friendship has same meaning irrespective of gender. However, when friendship is between opposite sex it becomes more exciting and demanding. There comes a stage when emotional proximity transforms to physical one. There is nothing abnormal in it if you have full faith and confidence in your relationship . But beware, let it not become the biggest mistake of your life, especially, if you belong to most vulnerable gender group or breed known as "female". Keep in mind, our social values has reached the lowest of all time. Your friend, whom you consider the prince of your dreams, your life and what not, may betray your faith and confidence and shatter you completely. Jealousy, revenge, hunger for money, no respect to any relationship, are the common trait of a particular breed of human beings living in this mod era. Hunger for money by any means has not spared even relationship between friends and lovers. With the advent of new technology it has been easier to make MMS or video clip than ever before. Technological inventions have made it easier to make your movements of intimacy more memorable by storing them using multi-media techniques. Its fine. Technology has come to your rescue. It has removed several barriers faced by young people. Now you can be in touch of your friends using e-mail, SMS, MMS and voice mail etc. But serious problems crop up when someone betrays his/her friend taking advantage of MMS, SMS, voice recorder etc. Is it OK to upload these clips (personal moments) on sites like Youtube, google video, yahoo video or similar sites??. When someone believes you, trust you to a limit that she can surrender everything at your will, can sacrifice her life, is it fine on your part to betray her and make a object of fun and indecency in public eyes? If you have made video clipping of your private moments with your girl friend with or without her consent, is it right on your part to sell these clippings to someone so that these clippings become available for public viewing. Has your conscience died? Not for a moment you thought that you are doing a sin by selling these clippings. You are spoiling entire life and ruining your career of an innocent girl. Girls can be blamed for doing nasty things but the distrust caused by someone very close to your heart by marketing these clippings will be a great shock of life for her. In the beginning, some of the sites were purchasing these clips to popularise their sites. Now most of these clips are easily accessible. Often I ask a question to myself and others whether consent of the people shown in these clips is taken by these sites or have they any provision to register their protest against this public show of their modesty. As far as girls are concerned I have doubts if they will ever agree to this pubic viewing. Its fine to show movies or clipping (made by professionals for business purpose) on the public domains but its by no mean fair on part of either these sites or people who sell these clippings to these sites, the clipping made without consent of girls. I am feeling guilty by linking these videos to my hubs but then these are publicly and easily available at lot of sites. I will feel it an achievement if modesty of few girls is protected by taking lessons from these incidences or conscience of a friend (male) is shaken and incidences of such nature are not repeated in future.
Why do the girls allow their boyfriends to record such pictures?
1. Girls are convinced by their boy friends that they will never misuse these pictures.
2. Girls are convinced that their faces will be removed from the pictures and other parts will be visible.
3. The sense of adventure makes the temptation to agree.
4.Girls are convinced that boy will agree for marriage if she agrees to allow him record pictures
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In my opinion, this clip has been made either by the owner of the cafe or the boy friend of girl without knowledge of the girl. Should not it be made mandatory to take consent of the girl before placing these clips on net for public viewing. At least personal information of the person uploading these clips must be collected and verified by the sites so that any action may be taken against these blackmailers. Another aspect that need attention is whether clips of the videos that has been under police investigation are also put on the net. "Agra Sex scandal" was highlighted on the television channels few month back. Video clip is on net now. In this case the girl was betrayed by her lover. He made CD of love making and then exploited the girl. If I am not wrong, clip shown (available at google video sometime back) is the same. All these clips are embedded by young members of ORKUT. Anyone can include videos from google, Youtube or Yahoo video. Here I have just embedded few video clips to highlight the issue.
Note: I have linked here only one clip to justify the content of this hub.
Care to be taken by friends:
1. Try to know the intentions of your friend, whether he or she really loves you.
2. Verify if your friend isn't posing as a friend in front of you to settle any old scores,
3. Does he or she ever try to take undue advantage in the name of friendship
4. Does your friend come to your help whenever you are in trouble?
5. Has your friend ever tried to impress you with money or position or status of the family?
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Express your opinion here:
Is it fair to sell the MMS clips of private moments for public viewing?
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Comments
Thanks David for visiting my hub and offering nice comments.
A lot of girls have become victims of sex scandals.
Very correct BeatsMe. If I could change minds of few boys, I'll consider it an achievement.
Thank you for writing this Hub, and if you change the mind of just one boy you have helped. C.S.Alexis
Thanks Alexis for visit and comments. I believe in power of words and if you try to convince people and they get convinced that you are doing it to help others they take it seriously. I am hopeful that I'll be able to save few from embrassment and hatred.
Hi Premsingh , What you have written is exactly the truth , recently a girl who is a freind of mine , too was utilized by her bf in all possible manners and uplaaded her photos to fake profile created in orkut, I am not mentioning her name , She was from Kerala , Kottayam from India , I dont know where the girl is , She is a muslim and she actually offended her parents for marying this hindu guy .. I had helped her to let her parents know what happened when her bf stasrted uploading photos and all ,Now her friends who dont know the real story , just thinks she was a prostiute ior so , IThe gilr was taken some where by her parents , but I dont know what jhappened top her after that .
I know, I know, there are some total a-holes out there. But then, they've always existed, and what today's girl should do would be to get smart and learn to 'chhaanto' the morons from the keepers. India is just opening up sexually, and it's going to be a long time before the novelty of having a boyfriend wears off, especially in places that aren't urban. When boyfriends are a normal thing, and don't excite people as much, girls are going to start picking and choosing who they date, instead of being flattered when the randomest person professes love to her. When this day comes, and women realize they HAVE that choice, that's when we are going to be truly empowered. Kudos to you for writing this hub, it's an issue we really need to challenge as a country! Good luck.
This is a hard truth, Thundergamez. Parents of the girl and girl herself are compelled to leave their native place or even their state or country and to live in a unknown place hiding their identity for fear of being identified by the people. Thanks Aron, you are right. This is transitional phase and this type of things are bound to happen until we learn to live with aquired sexual freedom.
Man I better not put that clip of me and my ex girlfriend on youtube now.. *wink* haha.. kidding. This is becoming a cyber stalking crime actually and my hub about "what happens on the web stays on the web" explains this problem in detail.. its a scary age we live in now.. privacy? What privacy?
Nicely done hub. It's very sensitive issue and girls should be aware of it.
I just wanted to let you know: The cybercafe video is not existing, I found it on clicking play mark.
With Regards,
SIDDHU
Thanks Jerrico, I 'll be coming to your webpage and submit my comments as well.
Thanks weblog for infroming about the broken link but this has happened to 8 clips earlier. May be the effect of this discussion and visitors might be pointing out to site hosting these clips. I'll search for other video clips. But even my conscience does not allow to embed here.
I just wanted to let you know. It's not good to use controversial videos in hubs for 2 reasons: (1) they get removed from source(mostly youtube) when reported (2) like you said, our conscience becomes guilty.
(I've left a fan mail to your profile)
- Siddhu.
Unfortunately it is not just women that this affects. Yes the intimate moments may be more tarnishing to women but realize men too are being abused.. but on a whole other playing field what I think is truly crappy is friends using their cell phones to record their friends (whom trust them) when their drunk or otherwise doing or saying something that should have been between them and starting nasty rumors or rumor mills... the problem has reached epic proportions...
Jerrico is right.
I agree with both of you. If a clip is uploaded intentionally, even then man comes in the pictutre though he may not realize it while uploading but one day he has to repent for it. If clips are made by someone else and they are not knowing about it even then it is big embrassment for man too.
I am happy that at last some serious thinking is being given by all. In the begining traffic was coming to this hub but none was commenting. Even Indian males don't want discuss such things openly.
And I can tell you why. I'm Indian, and I have seen a LOT of Indian guys, and they're really really really primitive. Even now, even in important cities like Delhi, chauvinism is so huge that it's shocking! All men here care about is their honour, and their place in society. Nobody feels comfortable with speaking their mind, and it's just sad, because it shows a huge lack of courage, a lack of the will to speak up for justice. And you can't even blame these guys, because this is how they were brought up! They weren't brought up to respect girls, they were brought up at arms length from them, which is why they resort to stupid things like staring and eve-teasing. Maybe in the next few generations, things will improve. After all, we've only just opened up as a nation since a little longer than a decade.
Aron, I agree with you that these guys are broughtup in such an environment. Beside this, opening of our society to western culture due to liberalization is also responsible to some extent.Poverty and illiteracy were there before this but there was a respect for women, old people but now there is great change in our society. These guys have no hesitation in front of older people. Several incidents in the past have taken place where guardians of girls tried to save them from eve teasing and molestation but they have to pay for this heavilly. Guys from lower strata of the society may be blamed for the environment they are brought up but what about rapes of girls in the moving vehicles by the youths belonging to rich families.
I'm an Indian, I'm Tamilian. We have a proverb in tamil that means "Don't let your friend know your poverty". I'd say don't let your guy friends know about your gf, I mean the intimate, private, love sharing moments. Some guys enjoy sharing such moments with friends. They start it with boasting, they captures themselves in mms or their friends do it without their knowledge. In most cases, none of them realise the seriousness until it becomes a problem to all.
I appreciate your views and I am of opinion that a true lover will never do all this. In such relationships, its really challenging to keep them secret. You are right that boys generally do this for boasting and this boasting get dangerous when they do mischief. I hope if 10% of visitors to this hub (approx. 80-85 visits/day) pay attention then gradually situation will improve.
I just submitted this to mixx. I hope this hub will get more traffic as a result.
It's really very bad to make a girl believe and enjoy sex with her and then expose her to the outer world and defame her.It is worst type of behaviour.It is very much expected to be thankful to a person who provides happiness. But this type of spoiling the life is inexcusable. I have read some such incidents in news papers and the man doing such mischief deserves high punishment.At the same time, I advice girls not to loose courage and end their life. There are so many chances to re- build the life under any circumstances. Be courageous>Even inf you have committed a mistake, it is by faith you have done it. bad thing happens. OK leave it-start the life again. There are many doors to life. Human life is precious, don't loose it for silly things.
Thanks weblog for submission of this article to mixx. I am looking for others to do the same and become a part of this movement. If all the visitors assume it their duty to uproot this evil from our society and keep the moral values high for which India is known.
Thanks prasadjain for giving your moral support to victims of such incidences. If our society accept them as a victim and criticise the culprits then we'll be able to give our society a good name that it has maintained for ages.It's my pleasure, my friend. I'm glad to see the response to this mixx link that it has got 6 votes(like thumbs up here) in few hours. Normally, I submit mostly my own hubs that are majority of photo galleries. I liked this hub for it's content richness and social awareness motto. I wanted this to get more attention from sources other than hubpages too, so I submitted to mixx. Thank you.
Thanks again weblog, traffic is increasing to this hub and people are reading it. Credit goes to your efforts and I am thankful for this. I am also there at Mixx. I will take note of your submission and will add you as a friend there.
That will be great. My mixx id is divsid5357. You can add me there. Welcome :)
It's very sad that this occurs. THere's no excuse for the men that engage in this behaviour. But I must agree with Maylinda that this is also a cultural issue. While I respect our traditions, I feel it is not individualistic enough for people to take responsibility for their OWN actions. When that happens, girls will smarten up to knowing who to trust and who not to. As for the men, unfortunately, our traditions again place women in a lower position in society - a typical Indian woman is the one responsible for cooking, raising the kids, etc etc - and this is how men are brought up in many families. Even though the culture dictates that we respect women, the culture itself gives women a lower role in society. Posting your opinions is a good start to making a change, however being taught to respect others while you're still a preteen child would be more important. Keep up the good posts!
instead of punishing the guys who did shoot this perveted things... let us punish the couple doing in these places..
my opinion is ;
we should not blame the person who steal anything but the person who has given chance for it.
here the culprit is that gal not the guy or person who shot this..
the person responsible to stop this is a girl..
I do agree with Sridevi. Girls are equally responsible for allowing someone to do this and they must learn it that they themselves are looser if these things become public.
some of the boys are really taking advantage of time. so girls better really avoid trusting guys immediately coz you will never know when he will betray you. your hub is very nice by the way, it will make guys realize the value of the girls as well
Thanks shezz3085, glad to learn that you liked this hub.
Oh, what a shameful acts of the youth nowadays. High tech gadgets like the cellphones, cameras and the internet play a big role to this problem I heard from others. Partly I agree but the main cause of this is the irresponsible acts of an individual.
This is a gr8 hub, highlighting an important aspect of our society. The new age is opening a number of doors in terms of technology etc., but at the same time it has created a lot of hazards & nuisances. I feel the girl holds equal responsibility in such matters, its important to withhold one's dignity & keep a specific distance from the opposite sex. However, To err is to human, thus physical intimacy is bound to happen in close couples but it is vital not to make it a public event/happening. May God bless us all.
Your assessment is logical. Certainly it's the irresponsible behavior of individuals. Even then youths should think twice before committing such nuisance. To some extent gr8archer45 is also correct that to err is to human nut nobody should take advantage of situation in wrong way.
Wonderful hub. More people need to realize that not everything should be shared. If you wouldn't share something with a complete stranger you walk up to on the street, then you shouldn't share it on the web. One of my friends is dealing with an issue like this from her ex-boyfriend, saying things about her on his MySpace site, and the court's actually using it against him.
I can not trust in guys whose their favourite thing are sex before understanding girls mind and those perfer their pride on girls dignity and always put blame on girls in spite those girls are honest &innocent.some guys make relation with other girls just for annoying their lover and never declare their true love in right ways cos they want girl to start first .I think she will loose her dignity if she starts first .he may play game with her heart as he did it with other girls. I wish God bliss us from playful guy.Thanks for your great hub
THANKS kt pdx AND NOOR TONY for your views and comments.
I must say there is something about your work....I'm hooked. Good work, thats the truth
thnx so much for bringing out the truth.its ultimately we the girls who suffer it thnx once again...u have done a great piece of work..its a masterpiece....god bless!!!
thanks rubbish16. glad to learn that you liked it.
Hi Aron I,m Ashique from India,
i saw ur comments about Indian guys, some guys are like this not all. me also a Indian.
ashiqgaa@gmail.com
hiiiiiii
Very nice article. The worse thing we can do is take people for granted. So take care and thank the people you love.
The Universe Guru
www.theuniverseguru.com
Thanks Prem ji for giving this eye opening hub...
How can we make this hub available for all the girls so that they are not allured and cheated ....
Thanks once again!
Very well written hub .....
very much informative ......
Thank you very much for your great hub, for good advice, good wishes and support. Thanks for sharing your experience with all of us.
thanks universal guru, harsh-india and levi for nice comments.
thank you for this premsingh.
Thanks so much for your humble effort to make people think. It was quite inspirational and I could not stop writing something which came to my mind as a hub, didn't know how to do it still managed somehow. I will be happy if it support your effort and becomes useful for somebody.
God Bless!
thanks joebhoy and moonblood. Whatever you write will have impact at least on few if not on lot. If it save one from embarrassment you'll achieve what you intend to do.
AdsenseStrategies says:
2 years ago
Very entertaining. Thank you for this interesting article... (I'll try to take your advice :-) )
David
The Adsense Strategist
http://adsensestrategiesadsense.wordpress.com/feed