Once again, you find yourself at the bottom end of a pyramid scheme. It wouldn't be SOOOO bad, but the higher eschelon of the pyramid appears to be filled with cult members who insist you chant monotonous dribble whilst working the corn fields of their farm which is merely a front for a home-made weapons cache. They live the high life on your precious, precious savings with the constant promise that a fleet of alien ships will take you ALL to a better place. And now its finally dawned on you: even aliens aren't interested in your type.

Oh my poor, financially humbled readers! How, you ask, can you escape from the rat-race of life? Make the millions? Get ahead?

Realistically, you probably can't.

But here at Princess Ally Incorporated, for ten simple payments of $19.95, I will let you REACH your full anti-suckering potential.

Convinced?

Really?

You suckers really need me SO bad.

Lets just get on with the lessons, sigh, which despite my capitalistic nature will be delivered in three easy FREE steps. Even saying that word hurts my oesophex.. gasp..ah.. aaaahgggh

Never pay for ANYTHING you can get for free on the internet.

What does this entail you may ask?

Every-bloody-thing.

If you're not hassling some fat american to send you food vouchers over the internet in exchange for a bit of online hanky-panky, you ain't trying hard enough!!!

Mooch off people who love and respect you in exchange for listening to their dribble.

I run a sucessful marriage on a very similar principle.

Stat a Nigerian Internet Scam. Only, Nigerian is very yesterday. Denmark and Norway are more progessive counties, and who'd possibly suspect The Danes? Except me of course, I suspect everyone.

Con your friends before they even dream of conning you. Isn't the best defensive a good offense? Of course it is.