How often do you and your partner have sex....... honestly?
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How often do you and your partner have sex with each other, honestly?
What would you consider a normal amount of times for a couple to have sex when in a long term relationship?
How many times do you believe the average couple make love...... once a week, twice a week, once a month?
How often would you like you and your partner to have sex (together)?
All of these are questions that I have been asking myself recently following an interesting conversation I had on the subject with a group of male friends. Apparently it would seem that the amount of times a couple have sexual intercourse varies a whole lot more than I had imagined, and what each individual considers 'normal' also varies widely.
What I discovered after doing some more research, was that age is not necessarily relevant to regularity of sex, and that it is not unusual to find a couple in their seventies enjoying intercourse three or four times a week, or for a couple in their thirties to only have intercourse once a fortnight. Hmmmmmm, I thought, this warrants further investigation.
Now my Husband and I share friendly banter on a regular basis about the frequency we should or shouldn't be having sex. I would be quite happy to settle for sex once a week, whereas he would far rather have sex once a day (or more given half a chance). It can cause problems when each half of the couple have wildly diifferent ideas of how often is 'normal', and therefore whilst one half of the couple may be feeling sexually frustrated, the other half of the couple feels pressured into sex and therefore has trouble becoming aroused. I think of it a bit like being forced to eat chocolate cake, no matter how much you love chocolate cake, you would quickly dread the sight of it if forced to have it on a daily basis.
The conversation I had with the group of male friends resulted in us all comparing how often we had sex with our partners. The results of this comparison were very interesting. One couple were having sex three times a week, another couple were having it about twice a week, whereas the third couple were having it about once every two months. The guy who was only having sex every two months immediately joked that he would have to bring his wife with him next time we all met up as she would never believe that only having sex every two months was not perfectly normal. The guy having sex three times a week was all smiles because he realised he had the best deal of the lot, and my Husband was suddenly awakened to the fact he wasn't doing too badly having sex once or twice a week, after all, he could have been unlucky enough to be guy number 1!!!
Now I know an elderly couple who still have sex very frequently, and if it was up to the Husband they would still be indulging in this pastime on a daily basis. The Wife jokes with me that she often pretends to be asleep once she feels him starting to get a bit "friendly" in the mornings. Apparently when she has tried to tell her Husband that he seems to have forgotten they are both in their seventies, his reply is that 'sex is good for you'. Luckily they are very much in love, and though he will sulk for a while when she turns him down, it never lasts for long and they are soon friends again, (although she still threatens to spike his tea with Bromide to calm his urges).
An interesting exercise in getting a better idea of the true average amount of times couples have sex / make love etc, I have added several polls to this article which I hope you will vote on. Who knows, the results may even surprise you too!
How often do you and your partner have sex with each other, honestly?
See results without votingWhat would you consider a normal amount of times for a couple to have sex when in a long term relationship?
See results without votingHow many times do you believe the average couple make love?
See results without votingHow often would you like you and your partner to have sex (together)?
See results without voting
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Comments
Thanks Quietnessandtrust. So delighted you enjoyed this hub :) Loved the wise woman quote too!
Sounds like guys are in to sex a lot more than us girls. Even at the age of 70!? LOL I guess its okay for granny to sleep with a teddy bear but not okay if grandpa wants to get jiggy with it.
Too true Mayhmong, even my libido doesn't come close to my Husband's. At least he doesn't fancy my Teddy Bear :)
LOL I think it be safer if he had the teddy bear than some other chick.
Good point, but pity the poor teddy bear :)
Remember "just 5 minutes a day is all we ask"...LOL :-)
"and we will give you 2 hours on Friday night"...LOL :-)
Deal?
LOL, I wish it WAS only 5 mins sometimes Q&T, and on Fridays I prefer to be in the pub (sorry, no deal this time :) :) :) )
Okay, sorry about this, but, whenever possible 4-5+ times per day; and, no, it isn't less than half an hour. My wife usually agrees.
I wonder what "hubby" thinks of you taking the pub over his nakedness. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! :-0
INTERCOURSE,,,!!!sounds like a golf game on steroids,what a truly UN-sexy word!...i prefer"bumping yum yums", made you smile huh, thats a step towards removing your panties isn't it.humor will get you in every time,huh ladies?...
There really can't be any hard rule on this. There are so many different factors involved in diffrent relationships. I remember at times when my spouse and I were younger where we would go months without sex.
Now that we are in our forties and less stresses we have sex almost on a daily basis and thats after 21 years of marriage. The answer will be different for everyone.
I'm not going to be specific, but once or twice a week doesn't sound like much to me. And 6 times a year doesn't even really seem like a sexual relationship!
We've been together for four years. We have sex about 3 times a week. But we are both very busy. I'm sure it would be more if we both didn't work full time and go to school full time. I think it is something that should always be made a priority. If it was up to me... it would be everyday :) But our schedules don't allow it :(
Interesting feedback from everyone so far. Seems like many of you have, or would like, sex more than twice a week. This is surprising when allegedly the national average is twice a week only. Thanks for all your answers so far. Hopefully we shall get more to get the larger perspective.
Iconoclast, golly, on the days you have sex 5 times a day that means you are having sex for over 2.5 hours in total! How do you find time to do all the daily tasks involved in running a home as well??? :)
Iconoclast, golly, on the days you have sex 5 times a day that means you are having sex for over 2.5 hours in total! How do you find time to do all the daily tasks involved in running a home as well??? :)
8 seconds per week! That's 4 times :)Thanks for checking in with me, Cindy. How the heck are you??
LOL, at least you get time for other things too Joe... pity poor Iconoclast!!
So delighted to see you here. Was getting worried we might never see you again! I am great, but more to the point, how are you????
LOL, at least you get time for other things too Joe... pity poor Iconoclast!!
So delighted to see you here. Was getting worried we might never see you again! I am great, but more to the point, how are you????
Brain pictures are hilarious :)
Love the brains! I am, however, too young to read such things!
Hey - I have good driving skills!
Thanks Wanderlust, I loved the brain pics too :)
Hi Christoph, great to see you here and thanks for commenting :)
Hi Jewels, I have good driving skills too so you are not alone. The images must have been designed by a man :)
I was going to say that Misty but didn't want to sound sexist. What the heck!
LOL, let's all be sexist together :)
OK More than twice..actually alot :0)
we are so well matched and in tune with each other that its not a big issue, it just happens so naturally and spontaneously, I know some couples that plan the night etc i bet they have their funeral clothes picked out as well :0)
Later :0) Guernsey ok cobwebs in brain!!!!!
LOL, not quite at the 'funeral clothes' stage yet, but sometimes vaguely plan the night for sex :)
To be honest, since my hormones started to drop down in the autumn last year, I started to loose interest in sex...at the certain point I even started to feel disgust towards this activity (something like 5 minutes is too much, who would even bother to get undressed because something so boring, etc, etc, plus even the hottest guy in the world would not inspire me to even think about sex)
As soon as I started to realize that this is part of story connected with sex-hormones, and start to treat myself, my attitude towards sex changed. I also prepared to my bf remedies, so we could start to have normal sex-life again. And enjoyable again.
BTW, with 2-3 times per week, I am very satisfied - (this was always my optimum, only in the periods when was enough time and special occasions, more of that was more then OK (sometimes much more!)
Thanks for the input Tatjana. You make a good point that loss of interest in sex can be caused by hormone levels. :)
I want sex more often-on average my husband and I make love 2-3 times per month. It used to be 2-3 times per week, but has rapidly declined over the past year to year and a half. He has been dealing with grief and depression from the loss of his mother last May and subsequently started drinking again after 18 years of sobriety. I believe this has all played a part in our declining sex lives. I am understanding and patient and never demanding. I do hope as he is in recovery that we will increase our sexual activity.
I am so sorry to hear of your problems rsmallory, and I hope your Husband recovers from his depression and grief soon so that your lives can return to normal. I am sure he will get through this, but it will take time.
I don't have experience with this activity. But I'll do as soon as I get married. great topic. thanks for share
does not matter how much food you cook for a man he wants more, does not matter how many times you have sex they want more, I have been worn out all my married life..... men!!!!!
Thanks prasetio, I hope you meet a lovely man to get married to :)
Hi Brenda, loved your comment, so true :)
pity poor Iconoclast? 5+ times a day equals 5+ hours a day, not 2.5+ hours. And yes, it does cut into other things, but it keeps me out of trouble.
Sex is great when you can get it, however all the time is a bit much
I remember a lady lasst year promised her husband sex every day for a year!! as a fortieth birthday present.!!!!
was not me
Jenz
I would be happy doing it every day. Unfortunately that is not possible even with two men! I need to content myself with an average of every second day or so.
Thanks all, great comments and feedback, keep it coming !!!! :)
Whatever keeps you both happy with each other. 2 to 3 enough for us.
I agree with you glendoncaba, thanks for commenting.
omg!!! I like this hub is very funny....
LOL, Thanks Wendy,it was meant to inject a bit of humour into a serious subject.
With my husband's chronic health problems and mine as well, we have to plan a time for sex (not just night, either) when we're both feeling good enough for it. So we don't have intercourse as often as either of us would like, but we find other ways to be intimate. Sex doesn't have to be just intercourse.
Once again, love your sense of humor! And the brain diagrams are priceless, got to share those with my hubby!
Thanks KT, you are right, sex doesn't just have to be intercourse, a good point. Must be difficult for you both being in not ideal health too, (sorry to hear that). Very glad this hub made you laugh as well though :)
Thanks for bringing up an important subject. The polls were interesting. I wonder just how truthful they were. Good info.
Hi Don, I too wonder how truthful most people were, as those who say they have sex more than twice a week seem a little bit unlikely to me unless they are very young, (as in late teens etc).
i actualy enjoyed sex,but now i don't and i an only 25,my husband has managed to make me hate sex.i am so peace of with it.and donot know what to do,we barely have sex once in a month or two.
Hi Mimi, why does your Husband make you hate sex? Is it because he likes things you don't, or do you just not feel attracted to him any more?
Honestly i do have sex daily since my marriage which is 7 months old and i have seen that it has increased the bonding in our relationship.It is one of the manifestation of love to your partner.
Good for you and your partner Tanay, I hope this bonding and regular enjoyment of sex lasts the distance.
Thanks for commenting Kimberly, I shall have to read your hub.
Fun hub Misty! Interesting poll results too.
Thanks Randy, yes, I found the poll results interesting too, and of course they keep changing as this article does get a lot of regular viewings.
I have been married for 9 years and dating the same many for 13 years. We still have a very healthy sex life. I think it's essential for a marriage to have a good sex life.
Hi Mistywild, that is good to hear, although each person's interpretation of a "healthy" sex life seems to vary, but so long as you are both happy that is perfect :)
the thing with the mail and female brain is hilerious sorry cant spell and true in most cases but not in mine. i think i like sex more than my man does. im always asking for it and one night i had to wrestle him to get him. it was fun a new technique to forplay. playing hard to get. :)
~whispers of faith
Hi Whispers of Faith, (great name by the way), your man is a very lucky bloke!. Thanks for posting here :)
My wife and I have sex about once per week - but that's due to the fact that (a) we are both busy and tired midweek so we wait for the Saturday morning lay in and (b) my wife is really quite selfish, unimaginative, inhibited and has hang ups about her body. All of which makes for a very unsatisfying time in bed. I've had a many partners before I married and sex was always better - and usually more like a 3 times per week thing. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife, but unfortunately - in the bedroom it's all a bit flat so I think my point is that there is no "normal" amount of sex in relationships, rather an "average" amount and people would fall above or below the average depending on numerous factors. As for me - I'll continue reading with interest and beat down the pangs of jealousy arising when I read of so many folks enjoy the kinda sex life I wish my wife and I enjoyed.
My wife and I have sex about once per week - but that's due to the fact that (a) we are both busy and tired midweek so we wait for the Saturday morning lay in and (b) my wife is really quite selfish, unimaginative, inhibited and has hang ups about her body. All of which makes for a very unsatisfying time in bed. I've had a many partners before I married and sex was always better - and usually more like a 3 times per week thing. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife, but unfortunately - in the bedroom it's all a bit flat so I think my point is that there is no "normal" amount of sex in relationships, rather an "average" amount and people would fall above or below the average depending on numerous factors. As for me - I'll continue reading with interest and beat down the pangs of jealousy arising when I read of so many folks enjoy the kinda sex life I wish my wife and I enjoyed.
Hi Gsyboi, thanks for sharing this information. I am sure you have a good point about there being only average amounts of sex rather than normal amounts in relationships, but you can still be in love no matter how much or how little sex you get in your relationship.
Hope you keep checking in to see future posts, and watch the poll results above.
Nice topic, i enjoy the pictures and the thought of the topic!!!
having sex with your husband or wife not just doing it for lust you must do it with passion and full of love!!! so instead of calling it sex, why dont you say making love...?
Hi faith_trixzy, I agree it shouldn't be just about lust most definitely, but quite often sex is what couples do rather than making love. The way I see it even in a loving relationship there are times you make love and times you have sex. The making love is the stroking, cuddling, kissing kind of intercourse, the having sex is when the couples indulge in more fantasy type sex, fulfil their more basic sexual needs, dress up, bondage, unusual positions etc.
LOL apart from anything else the word "sex" will pull in more readers than "making love" would.
Great article. Men and women definitely have different libidos. My hubby wants it every day. Nothing wrong with his prostrate. LoL
LOL, thanks for commenting fishtiger58, my Hubby would have it every day too if I let him!!
quietnessandtrust says:
4 months ago
Misty that was to funny...the last part with the brains...LOL!!!
I once heard a wise woman say this. "If you have 'some sort of sex' with your husband very often....then you raise the odds that he will 'make love to you'...more often"
Get it??? Good hub.