Many people still today do not believe that children are being molested as much as being reported. Often times the child is considered to be the lying and the victim is the pedophile, when in truth is over 50% of all child molestation being done by family and friends not strangers according to Dr. Herbert Wagemaker. Others feel they can spot a child molester easily and one would never get close to their child; however, the same people who believe this don’t even know what a child molester is like, or how they get close to the children in the first place.

While it is true strangers can be a big threat to unprotected children, and often what you hear about in the news is the child that was abducted and raped. That is why most parents are not looking close to home when they think of someone molesting their children. It is also why so many child molestation cases never make it to court or on the news.  In order for a child molester to get close to their victims they have to build trust, and often times they are the most helpful and calming people to be around. They are not the one’s you get the bad vibes off of, or the ones you think looked at your kid funny usually, it is most times the one’s you trust more than anything. Child molesters spend a great deal of time and energy to convince the parents they are good people, helping out whenever they can, they are also very good with children, protective, and even very patient. It is because of these traits that they can fool most people; it is also because of these traits that often times the parents feel like they were the victims and don’t want to believe the child and without some sort of traumatic intervention or forced proof it will probably go un-reported.

            For parents it is not that they don’t love their children, although from an outsider looking in it may appear as if they didn’t. Trusting people often doesn’t come easy for people so once the child molester has a parents trust it is easy to gain access to the children, especially if they can prove helpful with them. Because they have to take the time to get to know the victims it also gives them the tools to know how to make the children hide what is happening to them, and often grow a greater attachment to the one that is actually molesting them. Child molesters do not appear one night and gone the next day, often times they are like wild animals in the aspects of stalking their prey and staying around as long as they still have victims.

            Even after parents finally find out or realize something is wrong, that is where the damage has really started, it is at that point that a parent realizes that the child molester killed their child and left a shell of a victim that has been betrayed by everyone. It is hard to regain the trust of the child again especially when the one they counted on most to protect them was the parent and often times it is a parent, relative, or close family friend that has hurt them in plain sight.

            In conclusion, many parents feel they could spot a child molester, although child molesters are able to do what they do because you trust them. It is often the person you trust the most, or the one you have living under your own roof, a stranger has very limited access to your child. No one can spot a true child molester by looking at them, of course you can spot an obvious pervert but you would not let that person near your child. Child molesters live with and amongst everybody and gain peoples trust, they are often the most helpful, most thoughtful, and even the best with children. It is for those reasons that the parents fooled, and it also divide families into thinking the child lied about the actual pedophile.

References

Wagemaker, D. (n.d.). Retrieved October 5, 2009, from http://childprotection.lifetips.com/cat/63575/pedophile-search-and-statistics/index.html