I myself was a child prodigy in a number of areas, so you might call me an expert in this field.

It was said that I emerged from my mother's womb speaking Latin fluently and my first words in Latin were "I'll have a Big Mac and super size the fries...I haven't had any solid food for nine months!"

Soon I grew to be a man (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) and by this time I had mastered many skills from being able to play Mozart's concerto for a foghorn in C minor, to being the first person to decipher the real meaning of the words: "Waiter! Check please!"

History itself is replete with child prodigies, but most of them grew up to be either greatly disappointing adults who were socially dysfunctional, like the chess prodigy Bobby Fisher, or they died young due to poverty or the inability to duck when a sharp object was making it's way directly for their head.

Now if you want to be a child prodigy, and you are reading this, it's already too late for you. 

However if you wish to raise a child prodigy--say you have a child nearby and quite handy to practise on--or can borrow one from a neighboor--then you might want to know a few tricks to coerce this sapling into performing feats of mental agility which will rock the world and put lots of money in your pockets by renting the little genius out to do a lecture tour or perform for the crowned heads of Europe.

The first thing you must do is to raise the young'uns I.Q. You cannot be a prodigy without big numbers in this department. Aim for 150 to 190. Any higher than that and he will be too smart to tie his shoe laces.

Once the I.Q. has been properly elevated (use a certified mechanic to do this tricky bit of surgery) you will need to get him a pair of glasses and pocket protector, as these are essential clothing accessories for all genius-types.

Now take him downtown to the Mensa building where all those 'Mensites' live, and check him in for an overnight stay while they examine him with a battery of tests to ensure that his claim to 'prodigy status' is not bogus.

Provided everything went well (and if it didn't you can always make things right with a c-note or two under the table to one of the examiners) you now have an officially stamped and sealed child prodigy.

Cover with wax paper, and place in refrigerator for 3 to 4 hours before serving with a house wine.