How to Become a Happy Person

Be a happier person - possible but quite elusive!

Over the past year I have gone from being a relatively unhappy person to gradually becoming a relatively happy person. I am so grateful that this has occurred and to be able to share my thoughts about becoming a happy person with you today!

I have a rich uncle in the United States who once told me that "Happiness is very elusive." Actually, after he told me that I had to look up elusive in the dictionary! Anyways, the lesson learned from my uncle: Reaching happiness is possible but getting there is tough!

Over the past year I have basically put together a list of ways or steps to becoming a happy person together in my head. In the following paragraphs I'll share that list. I will not attempt to number or categorize the list because I believe all of the ideas carry relevant importance.

This hub about is dedicated to my mother, to whom I wish happiness everyday.

Surround yourself with love

By surrounding yourself with love I mean make all efforts possible to put yourself in a loving environment. The environment around us has a huge impact on our emotions. You can surround yourself with love in an infinate number of ways. Be creative here. Where is there love in your life and gravitate yourself towards that. In my journey it has been through taking care of stray cats. By looking after these most gentile and loving souls I have found an environment filled with love and happiness.

Interact with your neighbors

When you leave your home every morning or evening you usually encounter the same people as you go about your daily routines. Whether it's getting your morning coffee or dropping your kids off at daycare you are bound to run into the same people. I know this sounds tough - especially when you're tired and grumpy - but make it a point to make eye contact with the people you encounter, smile and say hello. I know this sounds simple but when we're buried in our own stress and thoughts simple human face-to-face interaction with our neighbors is easy to forget.

Move your body

Now, I'm not saying to start running marathons or go to the gym and become a power lifter - I'm simply suggesting that you physically move your body. This simply means taking at least a 20 minute walk everyday. For some reason endorphins, or "feel-good" things in our brains are released when we engage in physical activity.

Learn something new everyday

By this I suggest learning something new everyday that relates to the subject of your sincere interests. If you were to go to the bookstore or jump on Wikipedia.com what subject would you like to learn more about? Again, I believe endorphins are somehow released when we learn more about subjects that sincerely fascinate us. For me, I like Internet marketing and foreign languages. So, if you can apply the new things you learn everyday to your work so much for the better!

Make friends with younger people

For some reason it's easy to fall into a comfort zone where we always surround ourselves with people around our own age or slightly older. I strongly suggest to make friends with somebody who could be your son or daughter and learn as much as you can from that person. By interacting with people at least a generation younger than us we somehow bring ourselves back to a happier state of mind.

Cherish the memories of those who have passed away

Almost all of us have friends and family members who have passed away. Unfortunately as the years tick by the list of these people will grow bigger and bigger. However, I sincerely believe that every human being has something to teach. By remembering those who have passed and learning from the life lessons they've taught us we can become happier people.

Pick up trash

Everyday we either walk somewhere or drive past somewhere where there is trash on the ground. The garbage just sits there and nobody picks it up. It's ugly and pollutes. But, for some reason by picking it up and throwing it away we can feel happier! Even if the place you walk by is a total mess and would take you hours, days or even weeks to pick up, by just picking up a bit at a time you'll feel happier.

Keep your home and body clean

Improving our body and living cleanliness sounds simple but it's so easy to forget! I find that after a nice shower, washing my clothes and thoroughly cleaning up my apartment makes me feel happier.

Give up chemical addictions

Of all of the tips to becoming a happier person I'm discussing on this list this is probably up there with one of the hardest ones. Chemical addictions are a nightmare for ourselves and the people around us. Whether it's cigarettes, booze or stronger drugs it's all the same. Chemical addictions do nothing but eat away at our happiness. After admitting that we have a problem with a substance we have to reach out somehow and ask for help. Happiness starts from the point of reaching out in my view.

Avoid people who make you feel bad

We all have met lots of jerks in our lives. They are what I call poisonous personalities. No matter what we say or do when when we're around them they end up making us feel bad! They can be pompous, arrogant and condescending. Their feeding their egos eats away at our happiness bit by bit. We need to identify individuals with these negative personality traits and avoid them at all costs!

Cherish your close family members and close friends

As simple as this sounds it's easy to forget to cherish our family members and close friends. These people are our biggest support and it's important to be thankful that they're in our lives everyday. I know it's tough - no family for friendship relationship is perfect. But, we must cherish these people in our minds and acknowledge to them that we cherish having them in our lives.

Try your hardest to stop worrying

This is another point that goes back to the classic Dale Carnegie wrote a book, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living." Worry and stress somehow have a huge negative impact on our happiness and eventually our bodies. Dealing with worry is tough as it's natural for all of us to worry. But, Carnegie's main point is that by imagining and accepting the worst possible situation we can somehow overcome worry and become happier people.

Teach a subject for free

As I've mentioned each and every one of us has some sort of intellectual content to offer. I recommend teaching the subject that you're most familiar with for free either on the Internet of off-line. In my website FreeChineseBlog.com I teach Mandarin Chinese for free at it has brought me great happiness to help people all over the world learn about a new subject.

Be honest to yourself

Again, this is one of the tips for becoming a happier person that is of utmost importance. One of the richest and most successful people I have ever met suggested that I be honest with myself. For many years I put his suggestion in the back of my mind and lived an unhappy life. It's extremely hard - I know. But, if you're not honest with yourself I believe becoming a happier person would be extremely difficult if not impossible.

Do activities to overcome your fears

We are all afraid of certain physical or mental activities. Growing up I was afraid of dogs and of animals in general. By physically engaging with dogs as an adult and looking after cats I have increased my chances for becoming a happy person.

Find your own way

This is a really tough one and I'll try my hardest to explain it. In life there are many directions or paths that we can follow. Friends and family members will make lots of suggestions. We've all heard "Why don't you do this?" and "Why don't you do that?". By blindly following these peoples' suggestions - as sincere as they may be - we may find ourselves living very unhappy lives. Finding your own "way" is the subject of Taoism as "Dao" literally means "the way" in Chinese. By finding your own way - career-wise or in any other aspect relating to your life you're sure to live a happier life.

Accept the course of nature

Sometimes we're dealt a bad hand in life. Our boss fires us. Our partner leaves us. Our pet dies. We lose close friends and relatives. Bad and unpleasant things happen to all of us. Everyday we face disappointments of different magnitudes. As tough as it sounds by accepting the bad hands that nature deals us and just moving on we can become much happier people.

Don't be over dependant on mentors

In the course of our lives we'll meet some special people who become our mentors. In most situations they sincerely hope for us to succeed in our endeavours. But, in some situations they may actually be "mentoring" us to keep us down and stroke their own egos. I suggest being extremely cautious of this kind of mentor. Remember, the best mentor you can find is YOURSELF! I have been doing online marketing for at least a year now. I have reached a relatively acceptable degree of success and happiness as my own mentor.

Slow down - don't be in too much of a rush

Sam, a good friend of mine in Taiwan is an expert Chinese in Eastern herbal medicine. His shop is filled with thousands of different herbs and various natural remedies. One time when I had a cold and went to his shop for medicine he reminded me to not be rush too much when walking through the streets of Taipei! What he was telling me was that the mind and body are interlinked and that by rushing too much you're doing harm to body and mind! So, by slowing down my walking pace and breathing I've been able to become a happier person.

Re-start a childhood hobby or sport

We all have activities we did as children and adolescents but have since abandoned as adults. For me one of these activities was swimming. Growing up in the northeastern United States I used to swim everyday during the summers. My parents took me to summer camp, beach, our friends lake, the town pool - I was in the water everywhere! Anyways, just this year I finally got myself back in the pool and am loving every minute of it. You may have a certain hobby or sport from when you were little. It could be playing the clarinet or anything - just try picking up that hobby again now and you'll surely find some happiness!

Find old friends on Facebook

It's normal for all of us to experience down days in our lives. These moments of depression can last for hours, days or even years. Nobody as immune - no matter how perfect things appear. But, by getting on Facebook.com and reaching out and getting back in touch with people who knew your during our happier days you'll surely find some happiness!

Avoid racial thoughts

I know - this is a tough one and carries a lot of baggage. No matter what our ethnicity or where we're from we have all been exposed to racism and many other forms of prejudice and discrimination. Sometimes for no apparent reason we might have a racial or discriminatory thought go through our minds. They're crap. Get rid of them. Believing racial stereotypes as truths will get us nowhere in life. By embracing and learning from people of different races and ethnic groups, sexes and sexual orientations we will be on the right path towards happiness.

FORGIVE - FORGIVE - FORGIVE

This is one of hardest suggestions for becoming a happier person if not the hardest. Unfortunately it's in our human or even animistic nature to hold grudges and not forgive those who have wronged us. We can say sorry and forgive by e-mail, phone calls or physical visits. Let's start forgiving those who have wronged us today and become happier people.

A parting story about saying sorry and forgiving and finding happiness

Here's my parting story before I end this hub. Just today I was taking my daily walk and came up with the list of how to become a happier person you read above. I keyed the list into my cell phone and SMS'd myself the list.

A few months ago our Internet connection went down and I had an argument with my landlord's girlfriend. Anyways, just before I sat down to write this hub we had a spat in our restaurant downstairs.

I told myself that I was in no position to write a hub about being a happier person without saying sorry and forgiving her first. So, I went to the nearest flower shop and bought her some flowers and wrote a card. I came back into the shop, put the flowers on the checkout counter, handed her the card and said "I'm sorry."

Then, when I was in the middle of writing this very hub I got a knock on my door. It was my landlord's girlfriend offering me a fruit basket in return! I couldn't believe it! (See pic below!)

It was hard saying sorry and forgiving my landlord's girlfriend. But, somehow by doing that and by trying to do everything else I've suggested above I've somehow become a happy person.

I look forward to reading and learning from your comments below.