How to Become a Perfect Girlfriend
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The Perfect Girlfriend Must Have Empathy For Her Boyfriend
To become the perfect girlfriend you must have empathy for your boyfriend. Empathy is that you do not mind putting yourself in his shoes and feel whatever he is feeling about a situation. Everything can not be about you even though we all like to feel loved and cherished always. If you are to become a perfect girlfriend, then you must put your wants and desires aside to focus on the needs and wants of your boyfriend. You willingness to put your wants and desires on hold means that you are being humble and that is a good thing and requires self-control.
You Must Be Self Controlled
The ability to be self-controlled is one of the greatest attribute of being a viable human being. Being self-controlled means that you are disciplined in how you act or react in a situation that involves you and your boyfriend no matter the intensity. You must be calm and considerate thinking of what is best for the relationship instead of what is best for you.
The Perfect Girlfriend is Selfless
Being selfless and self-controlled is difficult to be because it means that you have to put someone else desires ahead of yours. But if you are really in love with your boyfriend, then you would love to be able to relate to your boyfriend in a way that nobody else can. You gain self confidence within yourself when you know that he can count on you to be reliable and to be there when he is in need of someone to talk to about his world.
The Perfect Girlfriend Does Not Take Any Crap
You may ask, am I becoming a perfect girlfriend so that he can crap all over me while I just stand by and take it. No taking someone else crap is not what How to Become a Perfect Girlfriend is all about. If you are taking crap from your boyfriend, he is not worthy to be your friend. But if you have a genuine boyfriend who has the relationship of the two of you in the core of his thought processes and intentions, then why not be self-controlled, selfless and self-confident knowing that what he asks of you is only going to be good for the relationship.
The Perfect Girlfriend Learns to Listen More and Talk Less
Learn to listen to him more and to talk less. A recent study was done where it was proven that women speak more words that men so women needs to quiet themselves with self-control and listen to what their boyfriend is all about. It is amazing how girlfriends can get so within themselves with hair, makeup, self-help books and trying to be the perfect girlfriend when basically the boyfriend may not be all about that. Your boyfriend may just want you to be the best person you can be and to bring that self-assuredness to the relationship so the two of you will both benefit.
The Perfect Girlfriend Lets Her Boyfriend Be Who He Wants to Be
You have to learn to listen to what your boyfriend is all about and realize that learning about him may take some time. He may not adhere to the techniques in Cosmospolitan publications because no one can be a blueprint when it comes to being true to who you are. The perfect girlfriend would give her boyfriend space and room to mature within the relationship without trying to make him the copy of who she wants him to be.
The Perfect Girlfriend Talks to Her Boyfriend about Family Problems
Sure, you have your life to contend with and may be beset with family problems of your own. Your family life is well taken, but your concern is to involve him in what is going on in your family life too if it is causing you to have problems within the relationship. After listening to him and getting to know your boyfriend better, as the perfect girlfriend you will know when is the appropriate time to talk to him about matters that are important to you. If you are in the relationship with the right boyfriend then he will be happy to lend an ear as men are basically very practical listeners and problem solvers.
The Perfect Girlfriend is Confident in Who She is As a Person
You will learn later in your relationship as the perfect girlfriend that trust issues are paramount in the relationship. Once lost, trust is difficult to recoup,, so you want to make sure that the trust is there in your relationship from the beginning. You develop trust as the perfect girlfriend by being confident in who you are as a person so that you are not suspicious of his every move. If he goes somewhere without you and promises to be back in an hour but comes back within two or three hours. If you are in love you will be understanding and happy that he is safe and well. Accept his explanation unless you have reasons to think otherwise. Do not tie your boyfriend down and be his ball and chain irregardless of how gorgeous and beautiful you are.
The Perfect Girlfriend Gives Her Boyfriend Space and Shows Trust
There is not step to step process on being the perfect girlfriend for your boyfriend because men are quiet when it comes to their emotions. You will have to be patient and not to get upset if the relationship is moving slower than you would want it to. Use this time to get to know yourself better. Do not think that you have to always be with him everywhere he goes to be a perfect girlfriend as if he needs a pretty trophy with great listening ears though listening is a great attribute to a great relationship. Give your boyfriend the space he needs to be the perfect girlfriend and show him that you trust him and that you can be trusted.
The Perfect Girlfriend Knows When to Let Go of Some of the Togetherness
To be a perfect girlfriend, you must let go of some of the togetherness and relish in the times you have together. Hone up on your listening skills and develop your personality as a woman of character so that he will appreciate what you have to say and will begin to listen more intently to you. Volunteer at a charity or local community service organization. Being a perfect girlfriend is a challenge but it is a challenge worth taking if you are in a relationship with a boyfriend who you love worthy of your efforts to be the best girlfriend that he will ever have
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Babara, thank you for your comment. Your response that the article seem to be leaning toward the actions of the girlfriend is well taken. The articles is about being a perfect girlfriend. This is a case of the girlfriend meeting the guy who has all the qualifications that she needs and is the perfect boyfriend for her. Her problem is that she do not want to lose him and she realizes that she may need to make a few adjustments to make sure that this one does not get away.
well, i hope these things would work for me..
my boyfriend doen't want me to become close with guys (even with the closest) but the problem is i was used to it, to be with my guy friends and it was my orientation while growing up and it's hard for my part to adjust.
Debbie, thank you for your comment. You say that your boyfriend does not want you to be with your guy friends. I think there is a bit of insecurity on his part that the two of you need to explore. Being overly possessive of another is not a good thing and you should not have to give up your friends to be a perfect girlfriend. Talk to him a little about the friend issue and then see if you would rather sacrifice your friends or being a perfect girlfriend.
You write as though you do not have any insecurity problems.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years so I know I truly love him but we fight a lot. Pretty much every day there is a fight about at least something and it is usually something really small. We have broke up because of it before but we decided to give our relationship another chance because we both love each other too much to let go but it is getting worse now and I feel like I;m losing him. We both have problems that we have discussed and figured out ways to fix them but they are clearly not working. I read this article thinking I can change my ways in a bit. I don't think I give him enough space and I dont think he appreciates me or anything I do.
thank you for the advice lindagoffigan. well actually i used to talked to him about the issue but i think he did not get my point. sometimes he wanted to end up our relationship after he thought that i'm "unconsciously flirting" with my guy friends (and that's according to him though i know it's not true). but of course i'm hurt because in my part i'm not really doing what he thought.
insecurities-- i don't have that, as a matter of fact i just let him be friends with some of my girl friends. he even treat them as if they know each other for quite a long time. i don't even get jealous or get mad on his actions. i think it's really unfair in my part. what do you think???
A COMPARISON:
he doesn't want me to be that close with my guy friends as it used to be before, but on the other hand i am just letting him be friends with those girls and letting him do anything with them because i know he is happy being with them, and i know he knows his limitations. i gave him enough trust. isn't it unfair???
Kelsey, thank you for your comment. Love means never to have to say you are sorry. If the two of you are constantly having fights, then you have to question if it is love keeping you together of is it familiarity of habits and being able to have a good time in spite of the fights.
You are smart to give him space and while you give him space reflect on what is truly keeping the two of you together. You want the good times to escalate and the bad times to be diminished.
Take some time to yourself and find out is there a core issue that is always coming up that results in a fight. Lovers should love and should not fight.
Think of love like this and maybe you will understand if the two of you just like each other or are you truly in love. If you had a pet and you trained him to do something and he obeyed and maybe made a mistake once would you forgive him? If the pet continually chewed on the furnishings and ate into you best designer one of a kind pumps as he barked endlessly; would you keep him?
debbie, thank you for your comment. When I mentioned the word insecurities, I was talking about your boyfriend and not about you. You seem to have yourself in a double standard that you have approved for the both of you. He is allowed to talk with your girlfriends but you are not allowed to talk with his girlfriends. Maybe he knows that there is a difference in the sexualty of a male versus the sexuality of a female. A man may try to act upon his sexual imposes and can not always be trusted to stay away from his girl. However, girls seem rather harmless and are
less apt to lure him into the bedroom.
But, Debbie, you must consider that just as your boyfriend guyfriends may try to lure you into the bedroom, your boyfriend is a male to and who is to say that he will not be attracted to one of your girlfriend. Confused? I hope not. I think and this is only my opinion that he should deal with his insecurities because if you are being free with letting him be with your girlfriends what is going to stop him from erroneously visualizing you with one of his guy friend and acting upon it. Just a thought because you know your boyfriend better than anyone else.
oh thank you lindagofiggan, you open my mind with those ideas.
maybe he was just trying to protect me from being harassed by some of my male friends, as a guy he knows how guys think, how they act and what their actions meant. guys have the tendency to be touchy right?.
with that i now understand my boyfriend..
oh thank you lindagofiggan, you open my mind with those ideas.
maybe he was just trying to protect me from being harassed by some of my male friends, as a guy he knows how guys think, how they act and what their actions meant. guys have the tendency to be touchy right?.
with that i now understand my boyfriend..
oh thank you lindagofiggan, you open my mind with those ideas.
maybe he was just trying to protect me from being harassed by some of my male friends, as a guy he knows how guys think, how they act and what their actions meant. guys have the tendency to be touchy right?.
with that i now understand my boyfriend..
debbie, thank you for your comment. Somehow, it seems like you can handle those guy friends of his. Oh well, You sound like a smart person and I hope the best for you and your boyfriend.
thanks sooo much!!
I worked it out and we decided that the fighting needs to stop now but your 'perfect girlfriend' advice is perfect.. I know just how to ask to be a better person for him and me!:)
Kelsey, thank you for your comment. Glad that How to Be a Perfect Girlfriend helped you with your boyfriend. Stop by and visit to let me know how you are doing.
My bf was sitting right next to me when I read this and he just gave me a squeeze and said "you already are" like I was being silly for not buying into his thoery that I'm the only girl out there who doesn't want to stomp on his good nature
Well, there you go. If you got it perfect then good for you. What better person to make you feel like such a perfect girlfriend than your boyfriend. I hope you returned the compliment.
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kylerms says: Thank you for your comment. The information provided would be great on the Hubpages forum.
You have nice Hubs. Keep up the good work.
drummer boy, thank you for the comment and for your encouragement.
thanks for this article, this helps me a lot.. and it sue helps me realize all the things i did to my boyfriend.. thanks a lot
anonymous says: Thank you for your comment. Remember that a relationship involves too people and you should not be doing all the work to hold it together. Hopefully everything is going alright for the two of you.
my boyfriend is not contented with the things i do for him. He loves me so much, does a lot of things for me,he is sweet, caring and loving. Now, i dont know how to repay all the things he does for me..HELP!!
mah, thank you for your comment. You have a problem that most girls in a relationship would appreciate. Having an attentive boyfriend does not mean that you have to pay him back in any way. Continue to be yourself. Most guys do not want anything back except your company and your loyalty to the relationship.
Your scream for help is a bit disturbing and make me wonder if he is obsessively being kind and loving to you. If you feel overwhelmed with his attention just tell him what is bothering you. He is the only one to help you if you think that he is being obsessively attentive.
My bf and i have a communication problem ... i feel that i am the only one wanting to carry a conversation w/ him while he gives vague answers and even at times i feel as if im giving him a quiz b/c i have to ask a lot of questions to find out simple things..... he has alredy promised to change but its been months and nothing how do we go back to good communication
charla says: Thanks for your comment. Guys only speak 2,000 words a day while girls speak about 7,000 a day. That is just the way it is. I know you wanted me to give you some pointers but the fact of the matter is that guys are just different when it comes to communication.
However, I will suggest that when you talk to him, do not talk about the issue of communication. Speak about an issue that he is interested in so that you can get input and get some idea of who your boyfriend is and what he is all about.
Guys are great listeners and are constantly evaluating if what you are saying have real merit. If you turn the conversation to subjects that interest him, you will get more communication from him.
Also, do not ask him open ended questions that can be answered with a yes or a no. Ask him what he thinks of a matter and then attentively listen. Try not to be thinking of what to you want to say after he finishes talking.
Speak less and listen more and you will get him to open up to you. He will notice the difference in your communication technique and may start asking more about your interests.
thnx 4 the advice
thnx 4 the advice
na, thank you for your comment.
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This should be called The Politically-Correct description of the perfect girlfriend. Just like there are many, many lonely guys able to make women laugh (recall how women always say, "I want a guy who can make me laugh."), there are probably more lonely girls capable of all you detail. So what did you leave out?
Staying in shape (not perfect 10, just in shape)
Likes and often initiates sex, especially the perennial man-magnet blowj0b.
If a girl does all you detail and not the two I added, the mind will soon start to wander. Sorry, but a touch of reality needed to be added to this article.
Me and my boyfriend seem happy but I'm not really sure if he trusts me. Sometimes he thinks I'm cheating on him with his friend but I tell him is not true that I would never do that to him. yesterday I was looking at his pictures on his phone and he still had pictures of his ex girlfriends later I stayed quiet and didn't want to talk to him but I Told him I didn't get madthat I got kinda bothered because I don't see why he still has pictures of those girls when he had told me that he had erased them. I really don't know if he is cheating on me or not and I don't know what to do to be a good girlfriend.
Crystal, thank you for your advice. To be a perfect girlfriend you are going to have to stop the cat and mouse ggame that you are playing. It seems that you are looking for something to get your boyfriend back with because he accused you of cheating.
Get off of the cheating subject unless for some strange reason it makes you feel more desirable when he thinks that you can attract someone else.
(Don't get offended. Some girls like their guys to accuse them of cheating because it makes them feel a weird kind of sex appeal being able to attract someone else with your boyfriend's attention)
Drop the game and do not be deceived in prolonging the game by making it look like he may be cheating as well because of photos that are still on his cell phone after he promised to erase them. If he really had strong feelings for you, he would have deleted those photos but only you know how he really feel about you.
Unless you see your boyfriend in a compromising position with another girl, there is no basis for you to accuse him of cheating unless you like finding something on him because he keeps accusing you of cheating.
Get to the real problem of not whether or not he is cheating but why has he not erased those photos that he promised to get rid of.
How secure is your relationship with him? By keeping those photo connections accessible, may give you a clue. Instead of accusing him of cheating, just tell him that you would like for him to delete those photos. His action will let you know how he really feel about you.
Forget the baseless cheating accusations unless you just like playing the game of accusations.
your the most perfect girl you can find anywhere.
and im sure your going to find true love or you have already found the right guy. :)
p.s.im a guy.
talking about you,Hayden Panettiere.
your a really nice girl.
barbara says:
4 months ago
relationships are built up between the guy and the girl. this article is all about the girl trying, what about him? Doing everything he wants is not the key to a good and healthy relationship.