The popular songs goes something like this, "Breaking up is hard to do." and the lyrics were not lying. Breaking up is  hard to do because no one like to say goodbye to a relationship that has become a very important part of their lives. However  good things do sometimes come to an end and relationships like everything else does come to an end. How to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is not a step to step process. Instead it takes an understanding of the circumstances of the breakup and to be cognizant of the feelings of both parties concerned.

Circumstances of breakups can be involved with infidelity or cheating or just a falling out of love with the other person. If there is cheating involved then the way to break up is quite simple. All the injured party have to do is to bring up the incidence where the other was seen with another and say that the reason for the breakup applies because of that particular situation. It really does not matter if you tell the person who cheated in the relationship face to face or not because the protocol was lost when the person played on your trust. You may simply email, text or call the person if you want to break off the relationship. However, do speak and communicate in a calm and non-threatening tone without pointing a finger or victimizing yourself.  Just make the statement almost like in a judicial way that you are breaking up the relationship because of trust issues.

You can bring up the  particular situation but when you tell the boyfriend of girlfriend that you are breaking up, do not sound like a victim. You do not want the subject acting on the verb in an active tense and say that "You broke my trust so I am breaking up with you." Instead you want to make sure that the cheating person knows why you are cheating by saying something like this: "I wish you the best and I have decided to move on and to be alone for a while." Depending on the person, you are under no obligation to let him know what your plans are.  Of course, you may be alone for awhile but as soon as you are over this person then you will more often than not be looking for someone else. The last statement is saying that you are moving on and you have a mission without any hurt feelings but an intelligence to know that the relationship is over.

When you break up with the relationship do not use personal pronouns like "you hurt my feelings." You are giving the other person who cheated too much power when you say that they actually accomplished something of hurting your feelings  at your expense. The statement "You hurt" means that you gave the person the power over you to hurt your feelings and that is how you come over as being the victim. No one should have the power to hurt your feelings who reneigned on their responsibilty in the relationship.

It was their responsibility in the relationship to remain faithful and to not cheat. You did not do anything, in fact, you kept your responsibility and remained true even after the incidence where for example you saw your boyfriend out with another girl. You always have the option to forgive and forget but the saying goes that once a cheater always a cheater. The world is just too big to isolate your partner in the relationship to sign an unwritten agreement to stay in love with you for always. The committment of love for you will have to come from the other person in the relationship. If the relationship was broken and it is likely that the incident of cheating will occur again, then it is best to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

If you have just fallen out of love with your boyfriend or girlfriend then you have the respectful obligation to tell face to face what went wrong in the relationship. Not ever should you take the person off of your contacts and mentally resolve not to ever call that person again because you are no longer in love. That monologue will not work because you have an obligation to tell the person face to face that you have decided to move on. Sometimes you do not know why you have decided to breakup the relationship and if that is the case, then that is what you tell the other person. You would say that "I have decided to leave the relationship and get to know myself better.  That way you are putting the reasoning for the breakup not solely on the other party.  You can afford to take some of the responsibility because you just want out of the relationship.

You must sound as logical and as understanding as you can; making a concerted effort to not place the blame for the break up on the other person unless the person cheated.  The way to break up with a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend has been discussed. Another popular song has the lyrics that goes like this, "It takes two, baby." It takes two to make a relationship and if things are not going well between the two of you, then maybe you have something to do with the meltdown of the relationship as well. That is why you must make sure that you do not say that you are breaking up the relationship because of something the other person did except if the person cheated. If the person cheated then the blame should be placed where the chips fall but be careful that you are not victimized in the process.

Do not use electronic means of communication when breaking up the relationship. There is a lot of time that went into the relationship along with a lot of good times. Do not forget the good times because you have grown apart and because you have fallen out of love with the person. The rule is to always give the good news first and the get to the cold hard facts later. Tell your soon to be free boyfriend or girlfriend of the good times and then come out with it and say that "I have decided to move on" for what ever reason. No one should delve into the reasons for you moving on as you are the captain of your ship. You have no obligation to go into details unless you plan on trying to get back with the boyfriend or girlfriend later.  If you are not sure about breaking up the relationship, then you should wait a few weeks or months until you are certain that you want to break up with the boyfriend or the girlfriend. You can decide to move on without no apparent reason because that is your choice. You do, however, have an obligation to let the other person in the relationship know face to face that you are breaking up the relationship.

Guys are good for just moving on and not calling you or by just standing you up and not showing up for a date, for example. As Kanye West sings, this is a "heartless" way to break up a relationship.  You all hear that, guys. You would like to know the reason for the breakup and if the person found someone else who is more committed to his way of thinking about life, then it is not much you can do. But he does have an obligation to let you know that he has decided to move on.

More often than not the guy would have been the one to start the relationship. But times have changed and now women are on a more even platform in the relationship. Women are having to break up relationships even if the guy had started it. Be prudent and aware by acknowledging the good times and then tell the other person of your decision to move on. In a face to face talk, you are not only breaking up the relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you are  confronting the good and bad times you both spent in the relationship.  Face to face void of cell phone, computers or print media such as letters  is the most kindest way to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend.