How to Combat Suicidal Thoughts
77It's Always Darkest before the Dawn
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The Practical Art of Suicide Assessment: A Guide for Mental Health Professionals and Substance Abuse Counselors
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1965 Suicide Psychology Film DVD: Vintage Suicide Prevention & Suicidal Depression Mental Health Videos w/ Information on Suicides
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Crisis - The Jrnl Of Crisis Intervention And Suicide Prevention
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How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention
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This is a sensitive topic but one that needs to be discussed and more importantly one that needs answers. People who have suicidal thoughts seldom share these thoughts with others, however they might, they just might google in the privacy of their own homes "How to Deal with Suicidal Thoughts" and they might stumble upon my blog. This blog is for those who have never felt this way and for those who have struggled with suicidal thoughts for their entire life. I am 47, almost 48 and I have had suicidal thoughts since I was a young girl. I consider my age a triumph over the depression that has accompanied me throughout my life.
I don't know why I have felt this way, on and off, almost all my life but I have. That's the first thing that you have to know and that is that it's not your fault that you are thinking like this. You don't want to die, you just want things to be better and you don't know how to get there. Having suicidal thoughts is not a moral flaw. But, not everyone thinks that way, especially people who have never been down that long, dark road. For those people, dealing with this subject can be terrifying. But, even for those people, just because they don't have suicidal thoughts doesn't mean that they are off the hook, they might have children going through this or husbands or wives or friends...what will you tell them when you have never dealt with this issue personally?
One weapon you have to fight suicidal thoughts with is your mind, your mind is what got you into this mess and your mind can get you out. First of all, who is to say that if you kill yourself that the pain will stop. What if, the moment you pass over you have all the same emotional and mental pain but have no way of making it better because you are no longer in the land of the living. Someone said once, where there is life there is hope, what if the escape you seek is really just a permanent prison? Now, that is one scary thought! And if that is the case then it takes the solution of suicide off the table. If suicide is off the table one is forced to deal with the situation rather than dream of an escape hatch.
There are things you can do to make your current situation better in almost all circumstances. Exercise, eating right, fresh air, and company will all help scrape you off the bottom and raise your mood. Remember you don't have to elevate your mood to 100%, you only have to get it up a little for now and a little later, that's all you have to do. So whatever will help elevate your mood, do those things. In addition to the areas I just mentioned, going to a movie or to a bookstore and just getting out of my house for a few hours will help. After you have elevated your mood to a decent level then you can start tackling the areas that got you into the dark side in the first place. I always liked the saying "how does one eat an elephant"? and the answer, "one bite at a time". Whatever your situation, however grim, however difficult, the answer lies in taking that first little baby step, then another, then another until the situation is remedied.
I think we live in very difficult times. We are constantly being told that we are not good enough, that we must be beautiful and rich and perfect in order to be worthy human beings. God says that we are good enough just the way we are, that He made us in His image. We don't have to conform to societies standards to be worthy of happiness, we don't have to be perfect, we just have to learn to love ourselves and each other just the way we are, faults, blemishes, sins and all.
Finally, remember that next week you could win the lottery or meet the man or woman of your dreams or stumble upon some unknown happiness that hasn't even entered your mind up until now. Things can and will change unless you off yourself, then you will have put a period on your life that you might have to deal with in the afterlife and your friends and family will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. There is a saying in a book I have called "The Big Little Book of Jewish Wit and Wisdom", it says that "A man should go on living if only to satisfy his curiosity". I like that saying, I hope you like it too.
Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?
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You're welcome, I hope it helps someone.
Good topic, Brie.
Very difficult thing for many to approach. People do not want to think that their loved one feel this way and the people who do think about suicide generally don't want to speak about it either. However, people who suffer with this will hint at it and even speak openly. that is why it is very important for those around them to listen. You don't really know how close to precipice they are. You need to be able to sit with their pain without moving to hide it, fade it or fix it. People suffering need to feel valid. minimizing their suffering does just the opposite. in depression you feel as though you are floating in molasses, every movement is with tremendous effort and deliverance in nowhere to be found
William Styron wrote of depression in his book, "darkness visible" ;
In depression this faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come — not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. If there is mild relief, one knows that it is only temporary; more pain will follow. It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul. So the decision-making of daily life involves not, as in normal affairs, shifting from one annoying situation to another less annoying — or from discomfort to relative comfort, or from boredom to activity — but moving from pain to pain. One does not abandon, even briefly, one's bed of nails, but is attached to it wherever one goes.
Is it any wonder that feeling that way someone would want it to end? For many who suffer from depression, they see no other option, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Long term Chronic depression has devistating effects on ones health, but the worst I believe is that the b rain looses it ability to respond to pleasure. In that snese , for the sufferer, One simply cannot pull oneself up by the boot straps or "pull yourself together". this is why antidepressants are important. Not because they are a cure, but because they help the person respond to treatment.
I suffered from chronic depression for for decades. I though of suicide all the time. I lost my father and step mother whom I loved to a murder/ suicide in 2002. last fall I lost an employee to suicide, a young man of only 17 years. He was the son of a very dear friend of mine.
I can tell you that suicide is the ultimate selfish act. it leaves wounds in the survivors that will never heal. along with the pain of grief is the burning rejection and the aching feeling of "If only".
Shortly before my fathers exit, I sought treatment. I decided that I did not want to live in the darkness anymore. I wanted to live.
Counseling is very important. a person must shop around though because bad counseling is worse than no counseling at all. I was fortunate to find someone who was gifted.
a person must be proactive in their own recovery if they want to recover. it is magical thinking to go to someone and say, "Fix me" .
Alice miller writes in her book, "the Drama of the gifted child";
Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery and emotional acceptance of the truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood. Is it possible then, with the help of psychoanalysis, to free ourselves altogether from illusions? History demonstrates that they sneak in everywhere, that every life is full of them-perhaps because the truth often would be unbearable. And yet for many people the truth is so essential that they must pay dearly for its loss with grave illness. On the path of analysis we try, in a long process, to discover our own personal truth. This truth always causes much pain before giving us a new sphere of freedom-unless we content ourselves with already conceptualized, intellectual wisdom based on other people's painful experiences, for example that of Sigmund Freud. But then we shall remain in the sphere of illusion and self-deception.
How to combat suicidal thoughts? first of all, Don't do it. what worked for me was that I told myself, "Not today, I will wait until tomorrow" and I sought help. Secondly, tell someone how you feel. if one person wont listen, then tell someone else. keep pushing until you find someone who will help you.
Life is good, even if it feels like it isn't.
I've never known someone who has committed suicide, I feel for you having known two people, that must be very difficult.
Yes, it is. The good thing for me is that I have lived within the aftermath. I know the damage this does to the survivors, so for me, suicide is, as you said, "Off the table". I can say that because I did the work I needed to do, my life is sweet. Certainly there has been collateral damage because recovered. I had many codependent relationships and when I wouldn't play anymore, they went away, including my wife of 27 years. it is a pity, but there are painful things in everyones life. the pain and work of recovery was well worth the effort.
Good hub. So many important points. I am a self-injuring, depressive, anxious, Borderine personality...person. So many people have problems like me and many contemplate and carry through with suicide. I don't believe a lot of them actually want to die though. Some just dont want to live. I have been there. I actually think about ending it all at least once every day. But I don't want to die. I just don't want to live. Fortunantely, I am super blessed with a therapist and some beautiful friends that keep me going. Thanks for the hub. You are so right - we have to talk about this stuff. No matter how hard it is.
Good luck to you SarahMichelle, keep up the fight and remember...it just might not be better on the other side so you might as well try and make it better here.
I too was diagnosed as having a Borderline Personality with depression and anxiety about 4 years ago after self harm. Antidepressants and counseling didn't overly work well for me but everyone is different. Suicidal thoughts have played on my mind every day for 13 years but I really don't want to die, I just don't want to live either. I have a wonderful life, friends, family, great job and I'm reasonably attractive and intelligent and yet I manage to cry or be in a state of depressive disconnection almost every day. But I'm a fighter and I'm willing to stay in the game, even if its just to see the people I love fulfill their lives and help them to enjoy life...and because tomorrow may just be a great day for me and I don't wanna miss that.
Thanks for sharing Erin. Exercise, eating right, light therapy and music also helps me. I find if I am sinking if I can just improve things a bit...that also helps, I don't have to make everything perfect, just better.
God Bless
Brie I just turned 49 and like anybody else I have had my down days . I have been fortunate to have some friends remind me when I get down like that , that every problem I have is temporary . And that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem . And just today looking at the Drudge Report they had a blurb about the most suicides ever in the US this year . I know we are all struggling in one form or another . I just pray my ass off and just put one foot in front of the other in dark times.But now we all need each other more then ever in a time when this world seems to be spinning out of control . Thx for your sensitive approach to a tough topic !
You are so welcome, I'm glad I could be of some help.
Vladimir Uhri says:
8 months ago
Thanks for informative hub.