Knowing how to comfort your crying baby requires first understanding the four different types of circumstances that lead to crying, but that there are really only two different types of crying - "simple" and "complicated".

"SIMPLE' CRYING

Your baby's crying can be caused by a number of different discomforts, and some of those are easily identified and remedied. The first step in trying to comfort your unhappy baby is to try to identify any easy-to-remedy causes of fussing or crying, and eliminate them. One might call this crying situation "simple crying" because there's usually nothing complicated about it, and it is usually easy to remedy. This is the first type of circumstance that leads to fussing or crying.

Sometimes, though, what starts out as "simple" crying can turn into "complicated" crying, often because a baby has been particularly upset by his discomfort (possibly because he has been uncomfortable longer than he's emotionally capable of dealing with)

"COMPLICATED" CRYING.

The second type of circumstance that can lead to crying is when the cause of a baby's crying is not easy to identify. Most often such times occur when your baby has been over-stimulated or has been upset long enough to make calming down too difficult for him. (This is an example of when "simple" crying turns into "complicated" crying.) Other difficult-to-identify crying can be caused by sickness, including ear infection or digestive discomfort.

The third type of circumstance that leads to crying is when the cause is no mystery, but there is no remedy. An example of this situation is when a baby has teething pain or is uncomfortable (or in pain) because he's sick.

The fourth type of circumstance includes those times when more than one of the above types of causes combine, and just make your baby's day (and often, night) so miserable he just feels like crying. (We've all had those days, but unlike babies, we at least understand what's wrong with us.)

IDENTIFYING THE CAUSE OF "SIMPLE' CRYING

Obviously, the first type of crying is the easiest to stop simply because eliminating the cause usually ends the crying. Asking the following questions usually gets to the root of "simple" crying, even though in some instances it is not possible to eliminate the cause:

Is your baby hungry?

If he has recently been fed might he still need to burp? When the last burp never quite came up it can turn into uncomfortable gas that can take some time to be expelled. Crying caused by "left-over" burps usually lasts until the gas is finally expelled.

Is his diaper dry? Keep in mind that if he has even a slightly irritated diaper area a wet diaper can cause burning even after he's been changed (diaper cream, of course, can help that).

If your baby is bottle-fed check the hole in the nipple to make sure he has gotten as much milk as he needs. Sometimes babies can seem to be finished with the bottle when, in fact, they have just given up because no milk is coming through the hole in the nipple.

Is something hurting your baby? Check fingers and toes to make sure there are no threads wrapped around them. Check clothing for clothing tags that may be out of place or folded and bothersome. Check to make sure the neck of shirts or sleepers isn't pulling too tight.

Is your baby cold? Touch his hand to see if it feels cold. Notice if his hands have that look of being slightly darker or redder, with "lines" showing.

Is he too hot? Babies who are too hot can have sweaty-looking hair at the back of the head. An extremely hot baby can look flushed. Babies with warm hats on can sometimes become too warm in the car or stores.

Does he have a fever? A fever, of course, can indicate that your baby is sick. Ear infections are a common (although certainly not the only) cause of fever

Particularly in the case of younger infants: Is the baby's environment too over-stimulating? Are there too many bright and/or mixed lights? Are there a lot of different noises and/or too much loud noise? Is there a lot of activity in general? If any of the conditions exist, try turning down some lighting, restoring a moderate quiet to the house (it doesn't have to be silent - just "on the quieter side"), and asking anyone who is contributing to the sense of "high activity" to reduce some of the activity for a while. Another option is to remove the baby from the over-stimulating area.

Particularly in the case of older babies: Has your baby been left in his crib for a long time and expected to sleep, when he may not be tired? It can be boring to be in bed when not sleepy, and boredom in babies can then lead to loneliness and frustration.

The above questions can help you identify whether your baby's crying is "simple" crying or not. Whether you can do anything to remedy his discomfort depends on the reason he's crying, but it's always wise to run down this list when your baby is suffering with unusual crying.

COMFORTING YOUR CRYING BABY:

Whether or not a baby's crying has an easily identified cause that can be remedied or not, the most effective way to comfort most crying babies is remains primarily the same approach:

Hold your baby up over your shoulder with the side of his cheek or his head nuzzled close to your neck or face. Don't just "flop" or "plop" him over your shoulder. Hold him in a super-secure, snuggled, way. Newborns and very young infants should be held in a way that allows their legs to tuck up a little, with their bottom sticking out slightly. If gas or colic is the problem a baby will be more comfortable with slightly tucked legs. Newborns, of course, tend to feel secure in a position that somewhat resembles a fetal position.

Just because your newborn will kind of "stick" to your shoulder area because he's floppy, and just because your nine-month old can hold his back straight, it doesn't mean your baby doesn't need to be held as if your arms don't matter. Your baby needs to feel the safety of your comforting arms, and that means your arms can't be relaxed and "casual". Hold him securely and firmly. Imagine "trying to send him warmth" through your arms.

Stroke the back of his head gently. Stroke the top of his ears. Stroke the back of his hand or upper arms.

Remain calm and aim to let him know that you are completely capable of making him feel reassured.

Whether you walk gentle around the room/house with your baby, stand in one place and rock from side to side, or sit and rock your baby (either in a rocking chair or else "rocking-chair style") can depend on what works best for your baby during any particular crying spell.

The younger the infant, the more likely he will be to respond to slightly faster walking or rocking. The older the baby, the more likely he will be to respond to walked or rocked in a dimmer, quieter, room with your singing in a low, monotonous, tone.

Babies over three months old can sometimes also be distracted from their discomfort by being entertained a little. An uncomfortable baby doesn't usually appreciate "knee-slapping hilarity". On the other hand, just the right funny words spoken in a funny way can temporarily distract them. A fussy six-month-old may enjoy be held so he can flip a light switch on and off or (strange as this sounds) pull the drapery cord to open and close the drapes over and over again. An eight-month old with teeth just about to come through may forget his gums when he sees a "kitty" or something else that he finds entertaining. A crying four-month old can sometimes get his mind on a particularly entertaining (and, again, quiet) toy. The point is that even a baby who is experiencing pain can sometimes temporarily get his mind off his misery by being distracted.

The distraction approach, however, usually only works if your baby has first been made to feel very secure and comforted by a sure and warmly pleasant adult.

There is almost a recipe for comforting a crying baby. The most important ingredient is a calm, consistent, pleasant, and reassuring adult who doesn't seem to be wildly trying one thing after another in efforts to comfort the baby. While just being calm, pleasant, and reassuring may not always be enough at first (if at all), not being these things will almost guarantee that nothing else you try will work. Even if you can't see any results at first, your efforts will be felt by your baby; and that means it is unlikely his "cycle of upset" will continue to spiral upwards. In other words, if nothing else, being calm and reassurring will keep him from getting even more upset.

Equally important is that second ingredient of holding your baby in the way described above.

Once the two above ingredients are in place there is a good chance that will be enough to comfort your baby. If it isn't enough, it is from here that you can move on (while still holding him securely and remaining calm and pleasant) and try walking, rocking, and distracting.

Your upset baby needs you to be an actor of sorts. His crying may make you feel helpless, but you can't let him know that. If he's sick you will be worried, but you can't let him know that. You may be exhausted, but you need to disregard that and pretend you're not.

Sometimes your crying baby isn't really crying because teething is painful or because gas is making his tummy hurt. Sometimes it more a matter of being new in this world and feeling that life is too hard to deal with when there is discomfort. You are, however, your baby's world; and you can show your baby that even when there's discomfort for him, his world can be comforting, safe, and reassuring.