As already declared in many books on this subject, men are predominantly left-brain creatures and women are predominantly right-brained.

Watch this scene:

Bill dashes in like a mad buffalo clutching a credit card statement. Any woman less careful than Mary would have been caught flat-footed and on the defensive, but Mary was armed.

‘Billikins! Do you remember this wonderful letter you wrote me?’

‘Eh? What Letter? Look here, this bill for…’

‘ “You’re the light of my life and I’ll go to the ends of the earth for the prize you desire!” You write such delightful things!’

‘I wrote that?’ Bill asks weakly. He is totally lost.

‘And you have always been like that! You have always got me what I wanted. But I always wanted only you…Oh, Bill!’

They are locked in a tight embrace and the statement drops from Buffalo Bill’s hands to the floor, followed by hurriedly discarded clothes.

When your man is high on logic, and argues with facts, figures and intelligence, don't counter with other facts and figures. Don't attempt to beat him by his high-brow methods; use a woman's. His thinking and arguments are Gordian Knots. Cut them dramatically, Alexandra! Take him by hand to Emotion-land. That will destroy his logic. Scream, cry, laugh or kiss him suddenly. And follow the old rule about street-fighting: The follow-through is best applied when the man is down. Don't give him time to recover. Break a vase, or kiss him again! But whatever you do, do it with style. Practice in front of the mirror if you want to. (Make sure the windows are shut.)

But sometimes logic helps. Tony’s teen daughter knows her stuff better than Mom.

‘Dad, Wendy says I have a cool Dad!’

‘Why, am I air-conditioned?’

‘Ha, ha, ha! No, seriously, Dad, most girls in class are ashamed of their fathers. They are dinosaurs and embarrass us most times. I’m the only one in class with an awesome Dad!’

She gives him a hug and kisses him on the top of his bald dome.

‘She wants to see you again; can you pick us up at Joe’s at six?’

Not: ‘What are you doing at six, Dad?’ Fathers and husbands never fall for that. You’d get:

‘Sorry, Lady, I have an important meeting then.’ And you can catch him at six at the bowling alley!

Foreword

Part 1 A man is like a crab.

Part 2 Boys are birds.

Part 4 Use water, not fire.

Part 5 Be a Woman of Letters

Part 6 Be a sexy feminist.

Part 7 He should be Your Unwitting Puppet

Part 8 The Ultimate Secret