How to Control Your Man Part 8
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The Ultimate Secret
Men suffer from guilt. Or insecurity. What do you think is the source of all that bravado? Why do they have to show off? Why do men behave different with women and different with men?
Most men are at least three people:
1. The man in his own company.
2. The man in male company.
3. The man in female company.
Try this experiment today:
Accuse a chap of being this way. Tell him you read somewhere that all men are insecure. Watch his response. That will give you all the proof you need. The truly secure man might agree with you or won't bother to prove anything. The lost intellectual will try and analyze it, which only proves that his insecurities lie in different planes. Some weirdos will assume this is your favorite pick-up line and will proceed to do the needful! So, take care!
Moral of the story is: Manipulate his guilt and insecurity. Pull the strings, not the puppet!
Corollary: The following is true of both sexes.
People continuously wrestle with their demons. You will find that greater the demon, greater the anger.
Meaning, negative emotion is directly proportional to the insecurity. Insecurity, for me, is a term that covers fear and other conflicts. Let's see how it affects our victims
If you accuse someone, who is absolutely comfortable with his honesty or lack of it, of lying, you will draw a light laugh from him. But someone who is not sure, who is in conflict with his sense of values, will be threatened and will retaliate.
Operate from this context and you will understand your chap better. And control him!
Backword
Man was repairing his roof, balancing on a wobbly ladder. Slips and falls to his death. Son is called to fill out a form with cause of death, time of day, etc. Son is puzzled by the 'Remarks' column and truthfully fills it with the line, 'He didn't make any.'
Send your remarks to me. Suggestions are welcome. Even those proposing a committee to decide whether I should be dipped in boiling oil or thrown off a cliff.
Thank you!
Or please comment below.
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Comments
Well what more can I say You have restored my faith in Men...if only they all had your wisdom about life...you are a joy...period...lovingly...G-Ma :O)
G-Ma, my wisdom came much later only, after being a puppet for years! My wife still holds the strings!
Only because you like it that way..and i don't really believe that anyways...We all have control over ourselves..believe that my dear man..G-Ma :O)
You are absolutely right!
That projection can go across the board to all relationships. Very insightful hub. I continue to enjoy reading you.
Thank you very much, Iðunn! I feel so proud, like a child who shows around his masterpiece in crayons! Ah, some of my inseurities showing through! :)
I think my girlfriend might have read this at some point. :P
Still, I liked it. Excellent job. :)
Ptr, thank you. Hope she takes good 'care' of you! :)
Well, great hub kenny. I guess in the end, relationships is all about getting to know each other and figuring out what works best for the both of you. :-)
That's the truth, Michelle. It's a dance, and we should know when to put our foot forward and when to draw it backward, in time with our partner.
Great chain of comments, Michelle, many thanks!
See I'm supposed to be sleeping and here I am reading your chain of comments too. LOL.
Kenny, I like your pic by the way..this one that you have right now :-) You look very relaxed and...and...happy! (Yeah, that's the word and I'm not saying that because I want to "control" you LOL) Remember I am an honest lady. Good night Mr. Wordsmith. Let's dance to the rhythym of life as we learn to love the best way we could.
Hope you got your restful eight hours. Thanks for liking my happy pictrure. Yours looks happy, too. Like ROFL, yours is like hugging the wall in laughter.
" Let's dance to the rhythym of life as we learn to love the best way we could."
That's a quotable quote, Michelle.
Thank you, and hope you had great dreams. :)
Kenny,
This has been a fun series thet I enjoyed being silly in my comments right along with your funny insights. Thanks for making a busy work day a little lighter.
I am delighted to have lightened up your day, thank you, Jason!
Thannc for the info! very true and informative!!!
Thank you, Jazzi! :)
Dear Kenny
Came accross your article just the right time I need it :) Very Interesting..Its not that I want to control him but at times feel the need to make him go my way.. Enjoyed reading your article...
Good luck to you, Nafi! :)
I devoured every word. Thank you for helping bring clarity to the seemingly most complex creatures on the earth!
Thank you Lees! :)
I thought men thought women complex! I live and learn.
I dont understand how to pull the strings and not the puppet.How to make them do what we want by making use of his insecurity?In indian society,once married the wives are taken for granted no sort of insecure feeling husband gets!Then how come?
Indian men are as insecure as anybody else. Or why do they chase money or the fastest cars or the latest mobiles?
These insecurities are useful to their spouses.
Insecure about what?
How can this insecurities be useful to their spouses?
I want my husband to stay in a place near my parents instead of taking transfer to a place near his parents for valid personal reasons,which he wont be ready to accept.How can I make this happen?
We are inter culture love marriage.I want him to follow my caste and culture as I am the only child in my family and my parents would be happy if we do that.but in his family its not the case there are 2 children where already one is arranged marriage and they have that son to follow their caste and culture.If I explain about this to him.He used to tell its Indian culture that wife should follow husband's.I dont mind doing that.but since I am the only child in my family I dont want to hurt my parents more.they are already hurt a lot for my inter culture love marriage.
Pls help
VS, I don't like to be unkind but I don't understand why a couple who went against the family's wishes and married, has to now consider the families they have disregarded. When you were in love you didn't need them, but suddenly he wants his family and you want yours.
Now it's a push and pull situation, and if you two are not .
careful, it will end in drawing you apart from each other.
The option is for one to go in with the wishes of the other: your husband or you.
U have misunderstood us.after 6 years of struggle we convinced our parents and got married.we did not marry by ourselves.his parents accepted us happily but my parents were hurt as I was the only child.
Ok, VS, sorry.
Your parents have to choose between their daughter's happiness and their culture now. Only child or not, a happily married daughter is more important than dead tradition.
I need to convince my hubby in this regard.As per our parents discussion before our marriage we are staying near to my parents for past one year.As of now he has not initiated any talk regarding moving near to his parents.but I am afraid he should never get that thought in future also because it may create a rift in between my parents and us if we dint keep up the words which were decided before marriage.please help me by telling what should i do to keep him my control and not letting him to think in that way and also tell me how to convince him to make him follow my caste and culture.
Please send me email. You can send me a message from my profile page. Anyway, I wish you all the best and hope things continue as they are now, in peace.
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Isabella Snow says:
2 years ago
Very clever, Kenny! I'm still learning! :)