You control your relationship with another by choosing positive directions for the two of you. A positive direction means that you are going to look for the good in each other instead of the bad. It is conceivable to know that everyday life gets in the way of most positive intentions. It is that time that you have to be the stronger person in the situation and either walk away and llisten to what the other person has to say when the social climate is calmer.

 The most important factor in conflict resolution is listening because that is what communication is all about. It is very difficult to control another person even a child so imagine the task of controlling an adult. That is why the topic of discussion is controlling the relationship. You can not control another person's reaction to a change in a situation or to an accusation. You can however communicate and explain the change to the understanding of the other party. You can also choose not to make accusations but to discuss the facts around whatever the conflict resolution is all about.

You may have high expectations of your relationship to the goal of always being happy and receptive to your partner. Those intentions are fine and good and for the most part if you have positive thoughts more often than not, your actions will be positive. However, you can not tell your partner to don't worry and just be happy with your frame of mind because that other person even though loved dearly is an indivdual with his own perceptions.

People do have the habit of wanting to rally around a person who is always smiling and is not beset with problems or constant griping. That is one of the ways that you can control your relationship. Control your behavior to effect positive change around your partner with a carefree attitude and maybe your partner will catch the positive vibes and seek to be happy instead of worried or unhappy.

Of course there will be serious times in your relationship and that is to be expected. But even in those serious times, you do not want to make matters worse by adding your own bit of negativity to the mix. Control the relationship by keeping your word to to happy and content in the state of your relationship on the timeline that it is on now.

On the movie, He's Just Not That Into You, Jennifer Anniston earnestly tried to control her relationship with Ben Affleck to get him to marry her after a long courtship. It seemed that everyone was getting married except Jennifer Anniston. Her boyfriend knew that she wanted to get married but he had a philosophy that marriage was of no use. Jennifer's attempt to control the relationship got out of hand and they separated and thought seriously about ending the relationship. Jennifer Anniston realized that she was really in love with her boyfriend and wanted to get back with him promising not to control the relationship and direct them both into marriage. After the brief absence and their realization of their love for each other, Ben finally proposed. Jennifer was surprised because she had decided to be pleased with the relationship the way it was and to just continue living with him.

Sometimes when you take the control away from the relationship, circumstances will work to get the relationship to the level that you want it to be. Jennifer Anniston used outright withdrawal which was not a good thing to do. If she had used more positive reinforcement she may have received the proposal without the emotional turmoil of separation.

Most of the time the word contol has negative connotations but you can use control in a positive way as well. A positive attitude in a relationship can be a control factor in getting the relationship to the level that you would like for it to be . Forcefully changing a situation is a negative way of dealing with the relationship and more often than not will result in a separation or a relationship break up.

Control your relationship by controlling what you have the power to change and that is your attitude about the relationship with your partner. If he does not agree with you then compromise so that the two of you can remain together in your relationship. Jennifer Anniston in "He's Just Not That Into You" could have saved herself a lot of heartbreak if she had used a more positive course of action to get the relationship where she wanted it to be. You can not change other people, even the one who you have chosen to give your heart to, so use positive directions to get the relationship where you want it to by starting with yourself.