I have been lucky and blessed with the helpers we employ. we have had our share of helpers who were not very courteous, would not speak a lot, hardheaded, but more often than not, we get good helpers.

We needed helpers specially now that our children are still toddlers and one is going to school and both my husband and I are busy. Although I am not working fulltime, my husband still decided to get a helper and a laundrywoman. Our helper takes care of all the cleaning and ironing and looking after the kids when we're not at home. She does not wash our clothes so she's the envy of the neighbors' helpers. Our laundrywoman has been working for us for almost three years now and has not failed to appear on her scheduled weekly washday.

When you hire helpers, it is important to ask questions.

Have they worked as helper before? If they will be taking care of kids, have they had experience taking care of kids their age?

Who were their previous employers? Why did they leave? (this is a critical question. Most helpers would not give a reason that will put themselves in a bad light.)

Are they amenable to your salary and to the working conditions in your house? (This means that before you ask this question, you have already given them info on the salary, day off arrangement, sleeping and meal arrangements, etc.)

Aside from these questions, it might be helpful to ask about their religious affiliation, family, education and health conditions. If you will task them to take care of newborn babies, it will be most advisable to let them undergo x-ray examinations and other tests to let you know if they are fit to take care of a fragile baby.

My husband and I have always been kind and to our helpers (modesty aside). We were brought up in families that taught us to being kind and compassionate to people who are less privileged than us. We talk to them like we do any normal being. When we go out or go malling, we bring our helpers so they get to see the things that we see, eat the food we eat and to teach them a little bit of urbanity. You see, most helpers come from far flung barrios. During Christmas, we give them christmas baskets to take home and clothes and things we do not use anymore. Sometimes, when we travel, we have something for them also as pasalubong.

However, above being generous, I believe that treating them well and talking to them with respect should be how they should be treated. Not to the point that you become friends. You still have to put some space between you and your helper so that they do not lose the idea that you are her employer. This will be necessary in instilling discipline. Be clear about your rules and how you expect them to behave. When they do something wrong, for as long as it's uncontrollable, understand. If it's out of stupidity or neglect, you have to reprimand them. Not the way you see in telenovelas, but in a calm manner. Helpers tend to be sensitive and lack self-esteem so it is important to be careful on how you reprimand them.

As I said, be nice to them but don't be friends. Be firm but don't be a nag.