How to Deal with a Jealous Boyfriend
76Dealing with a jealous boyfriend is a highly subjective matter and there are not any scientific steps that you can take to get the envy out. The easiest person to deal with is yourself and that is the person who you have to began with. You must determine if your boyfriend is jealous or are you a person who do not like to be owned and controlled. By the way, most people fall into this category, so if yoiu think that you are being controlled, then you probably are. On the other hand, if you are an independent woman, you may misunderstand jealousy for your boyfriend trying to control you and your emotions. Any type of control is a negative reference to the relationship.
Your boyfriend is a man and men like to be in control and that is a simple fact. The simple fact is that if a man is trying to control your business, then he will be all up in your game. However, you must realize that your game should involve him because the two of you are in a relationship. Relationships do not just happen. Relationships are formed with two people sharing a common interest and wanting to share their time together in happiness.
If you boyfriend is using his control tendencies to ask about your whereabouts everytime that you go somewhere or do something with someone other than him, you need to question your ability to share everything about him. You should not look at his questioning as jealously because of him asking you about your whereabouts. You must look at his questioning as just wanting to know more about you. If his questions irks you and you do not think that his questioning is curiosity but more like jealous then you have got to go to the source.
You will have to begin getting answers from him as to why you have to account for your whereabouts when you are not even married to the guy. If his possessiveness and control issues are getting to you and you can not attribute his actions as more of less just his little independent thing, then you may have to move on in the relationship. As mentioned previously, relationships are meant to bring happiness between two people. If the relationship is bring discontent because of what you perceive to be jealousy then you may want to tell him that you have had enough of his jealousy and think that the two of you should move on and meet new people.
Jealousy is one of the evil sins and can not lead to anything but a problematic relationship. Relationships should not be problems unionized but should be partnerships between two people who honestly love and trust each other. If there is jealousy in the relationship, then there are major trust issues to deal with. Trust issues also signify that you are not working with too much of a strong relationship.
Jealousy also causes undo stress in a relationship that deflates having a relaxing experience enjoying each other's company. Stress is just as bad as trust issues and the two of those elements in a relationship spells relationship breakup. There is just not enough to build on if your boyfriend every move is to question who you have been with and where have you been. You are not shackled to the guy for pete's sake and need to move on and to meet someone else who is less controlling and will give you the freedom to love him freely in a relationship without regards to separation issues just as jealousy, envy, trust and stress.
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Comments
Thank you for your comment.
Interesting concept on having the girlfriend to figure out why the boyfriend has a jealous streak. I think that the process would be too complicated and that the guy not bring his problems to the relationhip and expect his partner to fix it.
Your shared experience; however, of dealing with this issue is much appreciated. Someone may be able to use your experience and deal better with a jealous boyfriend.
Linda
nice hub!
I think that a jealous boyfriend will typically have a self esteem problem. It's usually those that think poorly of themselves that have difficulty dealing with a girlfriend that likes to live life.
They are always wondering and thinking about whether or not she is faithful to him or not.
He just has to grow up and likely lose out on a good relationship before he learns his lesson.
Jeff
rvource, thank you for you comment.
Again you provided other readers with additional sound advice that augmented the hubpage article: How to Deal With a Jealous Boyfriend
I am new and I hope not to interrupt the subject matter that you are talking about, jealousy. Jonathan hit it exactly where it begins. Growing up. I believe that we all grow up with some kind of dysfunction in our families, and the key is how dysfunctional, minor or major. If a person has the issues of jealousy, and it has reared up its ugly head, then most likely that is what that person gained as a learned behavior. We watch and learn from our family role-models, and what we see growing up, we perceive as normal. That kind of behavior will not go away overnight. I guess what I am saying is that we have to be careful with who we begin a relationship with, and if you see it in the beginning, it would be wise to nip it in the bud and end it.
jess can help u, Thank you for your comment. Jonathan always provide insightful additions on relationship topics and your reverance to his comments are welcomed.
Jealousy is a complex emotion and as you said has its root in the family structure.
I am in complete agreement with you that the best thing to do is to end such as relationship.
A person who has the jealous seed may place an undue strain not only on the relationship but the other person who is involved as well.
Another nicely written piece, it's inspiring to see another's perspective!
Ben Zoltak, thank you for your comment. I am glad you like the article and apprecicate the compliment of this being a nicely written piece.
Jonathan Janco . You were lucky to have such an understanding partner . Relationships are about working together and finding ansers to problems and enjoyment. No one wants to work at things these days so the normal anser is to get rid of bad rubbish like most of these posts suggest.
Jonathan Janco says:
6 weeks ago
Nice hub, Linda. Going to the source is definitely a must, but I would take it a step further and try to get at what causes the jealousy. Control issues are not things that just bubble up inside of you. Sometimes it's something about the way you were raised or an issue regarding a past relationship in which deception has been involved. Sometimes it's not jealousy as much as suspicion . . . and there's a very thin line between the two. I had a girlfriend once who cheated on me and then of course the relationship ended. My next girlfriend then was stuck dealing with all these insecurities and unfounded suspicions that spilled over from the previous one. Luckily for me, she worked very hard (and motivated me to work w/ her) to ease that pain. Just thought I'd share that w/ you.
Sincerely,
Jonathan