In answering this question: "How to determine if your relationship is getting unhealthy?", we should first define what is a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship simply brings out the best in you. It inspires you to do great things and become more outgoing and altruistic. For a relationship to be considered "healthy" both partners should experience the ff.: happiness, security, satisfaction, and inspiration. It should be a give-and-take relationship where reciprocation is grounded on LOVE and its elements: faith, hope, and trust.

Now, that you already defined a healthy relationship, you can now ask yourself if you have a healthy or an unhealthy kind of relationship. Of course, an unhealthy relationship is all the opposite.

For a relationship that makes you always feel depressed and lonesome, it means that something's wrong...

If your relationship makes you feel down and little about yourself most of the time, it is certainly an UNHEALTHY one.

Being inside an unhealthy relationship is a risk to your health and your personal being. Many people think they would not survive leaving or being left by their partners but in reality, space and time could heal the wounds of breakup together with introspection or self-therapy.

However, breaking up is the last resort. Reconstruction in your relationship is the key, if you would not want to give up on your relationship. So, how is it carried out?

Reconstruction depends on your therapeutic goal. If you wish to change your partner, that is the hardest part. Plus, it is also unethical to change your partner the way you like them to become and manipulate them so things would be always in favor to you, and that is useless because you would not need a robot right? It would take you years of practice to do so, unless you take up in depth graduate courses in Psychology and Hypnosis. =)

So, here's my advice, what you can do is: If you can't change your partner, begin to change yourself.

What does your partner always complain about? Is it your attitude? The way you talk? The way you dress up? Your vices?

Come to think of it, if you feel that your partner is changing you just because you feel that you should keep up with their standards or they want to show you who the boss is? ... So what's wrong with that? Subconsciously, they complain many things about you because they want you to be at your best, they want you to gain confidence and independence and they want to see the partner they used to be so in love with...

There is always two sides of the coin.

Don't always look for the negative side, try to focus on the positive motive of your partner's actions. Why would they fall in love with you in the first place if they hadn't seen your potential and how great you could be? Right?

The problem in relationships is that, when we fall in love, we tend to forget who we are. Who are we, what we enjoyed doing, who are friends are....because we get so afraid that we will lose the most special thing that happened to us that's why we shut down everything else in our lives then, we focus and depend on our partners for our perceived happiness and. We finally believe that they're the ONE so we won't mess up and we tend to build walls around them for our security and for reasons of emotional stability as human beings' primary need.

Even in married couples, this also applies. Sometimes, a partner forgets that a spouse is a different person who deserves respect. In so doing, married couples often come up with divorce, for the reason that they feel that they are taken for granted.

We're not saying that giving up on relationships is wrong. But, not all people can stand unhealthy relationships that long that is why. Not everybody has the strength and power to invest time and energy in changing their partners and working out their marriages.

In brief: if we couldn't anymore find that same happiness and satisfaction from our partners, we don't have to look for another one. We can still find that lovely person inside our partners and have them back if we can reinforce them to and if we want to.

Okay, so now that you've learned to change yourself, and showed your partner that you were able to initiate the change to make your relationship work out; you can now make your partner realize, that if you were able to change, it is also possible for your partner to do the same. You can be like team mates with a goal: Of winning each other's hearts again. Be pleasing and stay attractive to your partner. The best psychological reinforcement and stimulant is anything esthetic and new to one's eyes.

Upon pleasing your partner, take note not to TOLERATE his wrong actions. You should act as the understanding partner but not the TOLERANT. You may reinforce your partner's good actions by cooking him dinner, or giving hima sweet kiss, if your partner gave you a compliment, or said something good. You can also give her chocolate or roses if she called up without you expecting. And if your partner showed crass and coarse attitude by provoking you or quarrels you by shouting. Show that you listen but you are the least affected. In case your partner hits you, of course don't let it happen. Always try to be a good model. Show your partner that you are matured enough to stoop down to your partner's childishness.

See if it works.

You make your own destiny. Once you found that love of your life. It is not that easy to just let it slip away just like that. Give space, have faith, practice respect. That's what makes a happy and healthy relationship. If yours is an unhealthy one, have the initiative to bring it back where it used to be: A healthy one. Or try my advices: Reconstruction, Self-therapy or Introspection, Modeling, Positive and Negative reinforcement and Understanding.

All things are possible if you believe in it by heart and you make something to change it.

Goodluck in your journey of love!

"Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous, conceited or proud; Love is not ill-mannered or selfish and irritable. Love does not keep record of wrongs. Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, love, and patience never fail. Love is eternal." -1 Corinthians 13:4-8