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How to Dispel Fear; Retraining the Big Bad Wolf (Ego)

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By Paula Andrea, MA

Who's Driving Who?
Who's Driving Who?

MODE Of Cosmic Therapy Email O Gram Invitation: How to Become An Ally With Your Ego

Fear is based in the Ego. Although the Ego has gotten a bum rap, it really does not deserve such a bad report card. Ego is designed as a protective mechanism. In order to keep you safe, secure and relatively sane, the Ego constantly scouts for possible warning signs of impending doom, upcoming danger or proposed collapse. The problem ensues when you feed the Ego unnecessarily, with all sorts of neurotic ideas, paranoid notions, schizophrenic assumptions and delusional syndromes, not to mention your obsessive compulsive mental practices. How else is the Ego supposed to react other than to take on the shielding stance by becoming a fearful nervous bodyguard whose first response is intense, uptight and ‘flat out’ defensive in times of overwork, stress or unexpected calamity? We can also throw in a little suspicion, sarcasm, and cynicism just for good measure, too.

So what is one to do? You will have to set about to deprogram your Ego. That is not an easy job to say the least. Your Ego has been with you since the day you entered this earth plane. It has watched you change your mind, say things you didn’t mean, lie, sneak, steal, gossip, compete, compare, cry, moan, gripe, complain, worry, hinder, pretend, brown nose, molly-coddle, confess things unnecessarily for self-benefit or adoration, in addition to building resentment when it appeared others got the breaks and you didn’t. It has lived with you, endured all of the self-wallowing pity stories of how so and so did you so wrong. You have thoroughly worked it over with the narcissistic propaganda of how incredibly wonderful of a person you are in all of your unending greatness, impeccable character, goodness, generosity, and selfless love for humanity to the point of sainthood. The Ego is submerged in conviction that you are noble, chivalrous, kind, beneficent, soft spoken and gentle. According to your Ego, if there’s ever been a human being who is without guile, you are the candidate.

In the process of inhabiting the same house (temple of flesh) with you, it has grown quite accustomed to your devious ways of bewitching sentimentality. It knows when you are about to blow a fuse and will warn you with subtle messages, but most often times you ignore the inferred nudging. You have persuaded the Ego that you KNOW what you are talking about, everyone else is a stupid idiot and on that of that, “You are the single most attractive, intelligent, funny and interesting person with whom you are acquainted.” Yes, the Ego has seen you turn emotional/mental somersaults that would make a Gold Medalist Gymnast blush. Your Ego knows you pretty well. Probably better than you think or imagine. But, you simply won’t give it any credit for doing its job. So, instead of being your ally, it has blown a proverbial fuse and in the course of trying to protect you from the ‘evils of the world’, it has created and intensified a fear mechanism to offset your phobic mood swings.

Unfortunately, you have done such a great job of convincing your Ego that the world is out to get you, it will do whatever it takes to assure you are not gobbled up then impolitely disposed of. Which brings me back to my original supposition: What are you gong to do to break the strong hold it has over you? There is no way you can convince it to let up since you are now aware of the fact that there’s really nothing to be frightened of. It doesn’t believe you. It won’t believe you. It can’t believe you. Yu are not very trustworthy. It’s seen you manipulate, connive, scheme, and distort words, people and situations before. You will have to use something you never ever thought about using as you approach the well conditioned Ego.

What will you have to use in order to turn the page on Ego’s instilled defense pattern? Nothing. It will happen of itself IF you implement these actions. .

  • Do nothing to keep you safe, sheltered, or secure.
  • Do not compare by saying this is good, better, or best.
  • Eliminate any internal dialogue with yourself that you allow in order to validate your current molested ideas.
  • Have no judgment or comment
  • Seek no outside agreement, support, praise, or validation.
  • Do nothing to eliminate uneasiness, move into it fully.
  • Do not make judgment on matters beforehand.
  • Be where your feet are at all times.
  • Limit your comments on issues not concerning you.
  • Natural and convenient wisdom diminishes fear of the situation.
  • Belly tension is caused by avoidance; face it, do it, say it.
  • Talk less.
  • The ego will release its grip IF you don’t push its ‘go” buttons.
  • Anger is repressed fear. The Ego’s on 24 hour duty!
  • There are only a few sacred times in life that you are permitted to enter a ‘horrible place’ of being knocked down – don’t try to fix it – stay in it.
  • Be still; no need to rush.
  • Nothing’s out of order, ever!
  • Never try to calm your mind!
  • Never repress feelings; express them.
  • Laugh when there’s no reason to.
  • Sing at least once a day.
  • Never try to change your circumstances. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be.

These tactics will have to be implemented slowly and with subtle awareness. Your Ego is going to rebel and rebuke in such an unlike manner like you’ve never encountered before. You will, in fact, experience more fear due to the Ego not understanding your wise approach and sure footed ways. Peace, serenity, confidence, composure are not virtues it sees from you a lot; so, it will be leery of your ploy to dry up the fear it readily offers. Since the Ego has no clue what you are doing or why, you will have to enforce your position with a super dose of gratitude for the part it has played in your life up until this point. The Ego will appreciate the boost of confidence so much. It will simply and quickly have to invent another avenue of entertainment for you.





And, You think I don't know what you're doing?
And, You think I don't know what you're doing?

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