I have yet to meet an adult who's kept in contact with every single friend they've ever had. Frienships come and go for all sorts of reasons; moving, growing apart, or losing someone's contact info can all mean it's over.

Some friendships end not with a whimper, but with a bang. When a "friend" does something so sneaky, rotten, or offensive that saying sayonara is the only real option, that last goodbye can be a doozy. Cutting them off cold turkey doesn't involve a showdown, but it still sends the message loud and clear: you really screwed up. And I don't want you in my life anymore.

Then there are friendships that should end, but don't.

Consider the emotional vampire. She keeps you up three nights in a row listening to her bemoan how her boyfriend--the same one you've told her isn't worth it--just doesn't understand her.

Or the friend who calls you only when he needs a ride to work or help fixing his computer. When you need a favor from him, he suddenly remembers he can't because he promised to help his Uncle Floyd install a satellite dish. By your count, Uncle Floyd should have enough dishes by now to back up NASA.

A healthy friendship is one where both people know they can count on each other, and feel that their lives are enriched by the relationship. If a friend consistently brings more negative feelings than anything else into your life, it may be time to let go.

Deciding how you're going to end it can be tough. Do you sit down for one last heart-to-heart? Do you coincidentally have plans to organize your linen closet every time you get an invitation to do something, and hope your friend eventually gets the hint? Do you go suddenly end all contact, leaving the person wondering why you've disappeared?

Personally, I think gradually fading out has gotten a bad rap. Granted, the chicken factor is pretty high when you compare ignoring emails with having a mature goodbye.

But, on behalf of chickens everywhere, I would argue that taking the easy way out is sometimes the best way. If that last conversation is going to turn into an ugly dramafest, is it really worth it--for either of you? Plus, fading away gives your friend the luxury of coming up with his own explanation about what happened. Beats having to live with the memory of being rejected.

Whether you fade away or cut the cord abruptly, be prepared to be confronted about why you've fallen off the face of the earth. Your friend might be worried that there's something wrong with you, or maybe she'll just want an explanation about what's going on.

Back to being mature.

Tell your friend you've enjoyed your time together as friends but it's time to say goodbye. Give a clear and brief explanation about why you're ending it. Don't go waltzing down memory lane, bringing up every past hurt, and avoid getting drawn into an argument. Resist the temptation to defend yourself if he starts listing off every one of your flaws. Your goal isn't to get your friend to agree with you or even understand you; your goal is simply to get the message across that it's over.

Skip the guilt trip afterward. Take the time and energy you might spend on feeling bad about what happened and do something good for yourself instead, like strengthening good friendships. Or building new ones.