Christian Dating and Online Dating
67Christian Dating
Before You Start Looking
Dating and marriage is one of the most important issues in life. So the question is, how do I know God's will for Christian dating and marriage? First of all, it's admirable that you even care to know God's will for you in this area, so be commended. Now, let's go!
#1 - Before you start dating, make a commitment that you'll stay holy and commit all your relationships to God.
#2 - Understand that God loves you, has a plan for you and that He wants to see you married to the right person even more than you.
#3 - Know who you are and have a sense of knowing God's will for your own life. To read my article on how to know God's will for your life click here.
What You Should Look For - Calling
After you find out to a measure what God's will for your life is, then you can start looking for someone who will be a good fit for you. The Bible says to not be unequally yoked. Paul was talking specifically about business partnerships with unbelievers. If Paul warns about doing business partnerships with unbelievers, how much more for marriage.
Even if they are a Christian, you need to make sure God's will for their life will be compatable to yours'. If you don't know God's will for your life, you should wait to date. If your potential mate doesn't know God's will for their life, they should wait to date. Knowing God's will is vital for both sides of the relationship.
Let me explain how important this is. I've always felt called to church planting and I know God's will is for me to do international missions. This means that I will probably be moving a lot, maybe even overseas. It also means that my life will also go through a lot of transitions and that my life will never feel really 'settled'. In addition, I might even be called at some point to a third world country or to a closed country where they persecute Christians. I had to find a mate who would be willing to go through all of that with me. Not only willing, but also felt called to the same.
If I had married a woman who wanted a stable life in a suburb with a white picket fence, I would not be able to fulfill my calling, or my wife would be miserable. Not many things worse in life than for two married people to have diverging callings.
What You Should Look For - Preferences
This is simple but if you overlook it, you'll be misearable, not matter how much your calling matches your potential mate. Sometimes in Christian dating we get so spiritual that we overlook some common sense things about relationships. For example, do you genuinely like the person? Do they make you laugh? Do you enjoy looking at them? One big thing for me was, do I get sick of this person?
Just because it's Christian dating doesn't mean the normal dating things aren't relavent. Remember, you'll have to live with the person for the rest of your life so make sure you'll be able to without being miserable. God's will for your marriage is not for you to marry somebody so different from you in tastes and preferences that you make each other misearble.
Is Christian Online Dating Okay?
One of the emerging trends among Christians have been online dating. Websites like match.com and eharmony.com have become popular hubs for Christian matchmaking. Many have questioned whether this is a godly and biblical way of finding a mate.
How should we go about dating according to the Bible? Well, saints in the Bible seem to have found their mates in accordance to the customs of their day. For example, Isaac found his mate through his father Abraham who sent one of his servants to find an appropriate mate for his son. In those days, the father had the responsibility of finding a mate for his children. So according to the Bible, as long as moral guidelines are met, we as Christians should date according to the customs of our day. Therefore, Christian dating would also include Christian online dating.
By the way, the best online dating website is eharmony.com. It's founded by a guy named Dr. Neil Clark Warren who wrote a ton of great pre-marital books and material before founding eharmony.com. In fact, I read "Finding the Love of Your Life" around 2001, I think before eharmony.com even started. I got a great deal of wisdom and great advice from that book that helped me later on when I started dating who eventually became my wife. I think it's the best one, because it's intention is to help you really find the love of your life, not just to find you a casual hook-up.
Other Hubs
Also, check out some of the other articles that I've written:
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Carrie Bradshaw says:
5 months ago
Praise God. I am still on the verge of His calling for me. Some have told me I should be on an international level, perhaps in writing books...I've sought to serve in ministry in a church, yet was told the ministry should be on a larger scale (kind of discouraging??). God has removed my need for a mate, in that I have the freedom to move as He moves in every way. The Word says a married woman has to be concerned with how to please her husband, but a single woman is concerned with how she may serve the Lord.
Paul said it's better to remain single for these reasons. I would absolutely love to be the help-mate to a man in ministry, called after the same calling as my own. I don't know what God has for me, but for now, in whatsoever state I'm in, I am content. I love my Lord!