How to Find Out if Your Spouse is Cheating on You
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One of the biggest concerns that people have when they are involved in a romantic relationship is the concern that the person they love might be having an affair. As a result, many people are interested in finding out if their significant other is cheating on them. There are many different methods of doing this but not all of them are going to be right for each situation. It is important to consider all of your options carefully before you move forward with any of them so that you make a wise choice in figuring out not only if your spouse is cheating on you but also how to best deal with the situation.
Before you actually make any move towards finding out if your spouse is cheating on you, you should ask yourself if you really want to know. Most people are so concerned with finding out the truth that they don't think about the consequences of the truth. Ask yourself if you are really ready to deal with the answer about whether or not your spouse is cheating. Figure out how you are going to move forward with the relationship if your spouse is cheating - and how you'll move forward if it appears that your spouse is not cheating. If you decide that you are ready to find out, you can figure out the best method of finding out but just make sure that you're really ready to know first.
If you decide that you do indeed want to know if your spouse is having an affair then the best course of action is to sit down calmly with your spouse and ask the question honestly. Most people go through a big process of trying to figure out sneaky ways of determining whether or not their spouse is cheating. The reality of the situation is that the best method of finding out whether or not your significant other is cheating on you is to ask. The majority of people who are confronted with this question will answer it honestly if it is asked in a non-threatening, non-dramatic manner. Tell your spouse that you need to talk about something that has been on your mind, that you are not making accusations but that you have a question. Then ask, "are you cheating on me?" You'll be surprised by the honesty of the answer that you get.
Not everyone is going to be able to handle the situation in this direct manner. Some people just aren't comfortable asking a question like this outright. Other people are convinced that they aren't going to get an honest answer just by asking. For these people, there are a whole slew of sneaky methods that can be implemented to determine whether or not a significant other is cheating. These methods include checking their pockets, email accounts, phone messages and mail for signs of an affair. They could also include tactics like asking mutual friends about the situation, hiring a private investigator to find out and following your spouse. Any of these methods may be right in your situation. However, you're going to get the best results from your search and have the most chance of moving forward in the relationship if you simply express your concerns in an honest answer and hope to get an honest response from your spouse.
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Comments
People who cheat are not all liars, some of them are not getting what they nerd in a relationship and have a problem letting the other know about it. A few reasons are fear they may be ridiculed, not being honest with themselves and plain old afraid to ask. Now some are just out right liars and deserve everything they get. Communication is the real key here. There needs to be that in a relationship at all times. Sometimes this is hard for some especially if they have been brought up that men are better than women like is some religions.....that only produces fear from the women's side and a sense of domination on the man's part. When religion and some cultures teach that we are all equal then marriages might stand a chance--especially in America.
I could have used this hub a few months ago when my wife was cheating on me. great hub.
All cheaters are liars! To cheat means keeping a secret from the one you have promise to be loyal to. The lies can be small or big depending on the situation. You may call your mate and he/she tells you they are on the other line with a friend or family member, heading to a "meeting" or have to work late. Cheaters usually have to lie to buy time to be some place or with someone when they are expected to be with their mate. To say that all cheaters aren't liars is crazy! I like the way this hub starts with the question: Do you REALLY want to know if your mate is cheating? Because once you do know the truth you have to make up your mind what you are going to do. (Stay or Leave) I don't agree that if you ask someone if they are cheating on you that they will most likely confess. There are 2 reasons why people lie to us. 1. To avoid pain (causing it or feeling the raft of anger from the person who would be hurt if they knew the truth). 2. The other reason for lying is because they love what they are doing behind your back and know that you would demand they stop. I do agree that most people cheat because they are trying to fill a gap. They like enough things about their partner enough to stay in the relationship whether it be for financial reasons, relationship stability, or good companionship but something is missing. I am not out to justify cheating but I do understand the various reasons how people do justify cheating. The truth is if you suspect your partner is cheating in your gut then most likely you are RIGHT. Generally speaking hiring a dectective, using PC spy gadgets to read email and other things are done to prove you are NOT insane when your mate tells you how insecure you are or that you YOU have trust isses when in fact they have not been Trust Worthy! If your mate has been distant, gets upset with you out of the blue over the slightest thing, is difficult to reach more often, affection and sex is avoided, starts dressing up more or hits the gym harder, maybe decides to start a new hobby or partcipate in an activity that you cannot join them in (this buys them free time to be away from you). In fact if your mate appears to be looking for more and more ways to avoid being around you there is a chance someone else has captured their interest. After all most of us only have 3-4 waking hours with our mate in a day after going back and forth to work unless you stay up late at night or both get off work early. No one thing indicates that your mate is cheating on you but when you have a few things that don't add up and your gut tells you something is not right then you have to consider the possibilty that you are being cheated on. Most cheaters that are busted justify their actions or blame their mate and in some cases they say the cliche line which has some truth underneath it. "It's not you, it's me" Ultimately your life is your life and if you know you could never forgive your mate then you need to move on because you will always be looking for clues or you will bring it up over and over again until your partner realizes that since you don't trust him/her he may as well go back to cheating or leave you. The truth may set you free but first it is going to hurt like hell.
If you are asking what the signs are you probably know the answer. I know I've been there!...and hid from reality.
you dont have to be a liar to cheat.. you can still be honest about what you have done.. it depends on the person you are. if you didnt care about the person then might as well have broken up with them.. if you cared but made a foolish mistake and you love your partner then it's better to be honest.
Susan says:
16 months ago
People who cheat are mostly liars by default.