How to Fool a Jock

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By drobnick


How to Fool a Jock

Clacking sounds bounced off the glossy painted cinderbrick walls from my shoes tapping quickly along the smoothly waxed tile floors. It was third period and I was rushing to ninth grade Algebra class loaded with heavy books. The warning bell had sounded one minute earlier.

I walked into the brightly sunlit room with white walls, sixteen student desks, and the heavy wooden teachers desk facing the class. Six tall sports jocks were there lounging in their chairs with nary a care in the world. They smirked as I, the four foot two inch, pocket protector wearing, taped glasses, high water pants, devout math student, moved quickly to my desk.

"Good morning class", Mr. Spencer greeted us. "Here are your graded tests from last Friday".

Expecting my usual A plus I received in previous math classes, I was shocked to see a B minus marked in red on my paper. That was impossible. I knew all the answers.

I perused the paper reviewing each answer. I noticed that none were marked as correct or incorrect. The only feedback from the teacher was the red grade at the top.

After the ending class bell rang and the cool jocks sauntered out of the room I approached Mr. Spencer.

"Mr. Spencer, this grade cannot be correct. I reviewed all the questions on here and I know that I have all of them correct. One hundred percent should equal an A plus grade not a B minus."

Mr. Spencer replied, "Yes, you did very good, you did get one hundred percent of them correct. But I grade on a curve and the other students in class had an average of thirty percent so that brings you down from an A to B minus."

"Thats not fair!" I retorted, "This grade is going to hurt my GPA. Why not just give them the F they deserve and let me have the grade I deserve?"

Mr. Spencer explained to me that would make his record look bad to have so many flunking students. He had no interest in my pleas for mercy. I left the room unsatisfied but I did not quit my quest for justice. I promptly headed to the principals office and asked to have an urgent meeting.

I was not given a meeting with the principal but I was sent over to the counselors office where I explained my delimna and demanded the proper grade or to be transfered to a different Algebra teacher. The counselor promised she would look into it and correct the situation. I felt much better.

I walked home that day through the Sheridan City Park contemplating the next day. The Wyoming sun was warm on my face and the breeze thru the swaying trees seemed just right. The walk to and from school through the park always calmed my mind. I was not sure what to expect the next day but I was ready for it.

I entered third period Algebra the next morning in my usual hurry and found my desk just as the final bell rang. Mr. Spencer's demeanor was very calm as if nothing had changed.

Quickly I knew something had indeed changed. Mr. Spencer stood and started handing out another version of the test we had just completed and stated, "Apparently there was some major mistake on our test. It seems that for some odd reason that everyone in the class failed the test except one person."

Mr. Spencer turned, looked at me with a bit of a smirk, "Congratulations on getting one hundred percent correct on the test Tim, I am sure you will do just as well on this one." Then, looking at the class, "I am going to put you all on the honor system and will return in 40 minutes after you have had time to finish the test." He turned towards the door and walked out.

I looked at the jocks who were all staring at me. They continued to closely watch me as I quickly jotted down my answers. It only took me 10 minutes to finish.

Suddenly I felt as if I was being raised into the air. It was a feeling easy to explain. I was being raised in the air. By a jock. Another jock grabbed my paper.

Quickly the jock club copied my answers to their test papers exactly as I put down the answers. It would seem common sense to go for a eighty or ninety percent if they were going to cheat and not get caught but these geniuses took an exact copy of my test. Mr. Spencer returned, collected the papers, and dismissed the class.

I approached Mr. Spencer for my second request for justice in as many days.

"Mr. Spencer, when you walked out of class the other boys grabbed my paper after I finished and copied it. I could see they were all copying my paper exactly and you should be able to see I am correct."

"Thank you Tim, I will check it out," Mr. Spencer calmly, replied. Too calm in my opinon.

The following day, third period, Algebra class. Again. Mr. Spencer handed out the papers and this time I was vindicated, one hundred percent, A plus in big red marks graced my paper!

"Congratulations to the class, you all received one hundred percent and you all scored A plus. I knew you had it in you!" Mr. Spencer announced.

Touche Mr. Spencer!! Well played. You scumbag. These were my thoughts. I did not express them out loud.

The next four tests were the same scenario. Test papers handed out. Mr. Spencer leaves the room for the honor system. The jocks steal my paper against my protest and squirming, but as one holds me another grabs my test paper.

Enough of this. I returned to the counselor I had spoken with the first time and explained what was happening. She told me it was going to be very tough to take the word of a student over a teacher unless I had some proof that this was happening. I told her sure enough I can get the proof. Our next test was to be the following day and everyone in class would not only fail they would get none of the answers correct. Zero percent score. And I would get one hundred percent score as I had been.

The counselor seemed a bit puzzled on how this was going to happen but I assured her it would. I left.

Mr. Spencer had started the habit of having us come to his desk to pick up our test forms instead of handing them out. This was one of the laziest teachers I had come across but it helped play into my plan.

When I walked up to get my blank test paper, I told Mr. Spencer I needed a second one. I gave no explanation and he glanced at me with a bewildered twist on his face. But he handed me the second test paper. No one else heard my request or saw me take it.

Mr. Spencer left the room for the honor test and I quickly filled out the answers as usual. The jocks assaulted me as usual, I protested and squirmed as usual while one jock held me in the air, and another grabbed my paper.

One thing these jocks were good at was huddling. After I was put down they all quickly huddled around my paper copying it. While their attention was turned away from me, in the same amount of time it took them to copy my paper, I completed my second test paper. Only this one was one hundred percent correct. Guess what the first one was?

I could not wait until the next day. I practically danced through Sheridan City Park on the way home.

Next day, third period, Algebra class.

Mr. Spencer started handing out blank test papers.

"Class, we have to redo the test. It seems everyone in class got zero percent except one student. Tim was the only one that passed. I don't know what happened but it has to be a big mistake. So I am redoing the test." Mr. Spencer then walked out of the class for the honor test.

Vindication!!!!

The jocks dropped jaws were vindication!! They did not know what had hit them!

The jocks did not know what to do. They had no idea if the answers I would write down now were correct or not. It was obvious what I had done, how else could the entire class not score one correct answer except myself?

So the jocks went back to cheating off each other trying to figure out the answers. They knew I had outsmarted them.

However, Mr. Spencer returned to grading on a curve.

Apparently my proof was not enough proof for the school to take the justice I wanted and stop the honor tests and grading on a curve.

I got my first B grade ever in a math class. Ever. My previous year I had scored one hundred twenty percent overall for the year, a school record.

How can you get one hundred twenty percent? Easy. That teacher had tough bonus questions on the board you could answer if you finished your tests early. Each question had bonus points added on top of your test score. I always scored one hundred percent on the tests, finishing them within 10 minutes or so, and then I had the rest of the class to answer all the tough bonus questions on the board.

But thanks to Mr. Spencer I could still score one hundred percent and come up with a B grade. Worse than that it was a B minus. It also lowered my GPA and took me off the honor roll for the first time.

I would like to say there is a moral to this story but I have not come up with one, except that Mr. Spencer was not going to get my vote for teacher of the year. All I could positively take from this class was that I outsmarted all those jocks.

That was a good day. A good day indeed!

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Authored by Timothy L. Drobnick Sr. September, 2008.

Copyright 2008 Timothy L. Drobnick Sr.

No part of this story may be replicated without express written consent of Timothy L. Drobnick Sr.

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pittsburgh seo profile image

pittsburgh seo  says:
13 months ago

Excellent hubpage, Tim. As a parent, I appreciate the sincerity and it makes me think twice about the complaints I receive (from my children) about certain teachers. These people have no idea how they affect our children; especially those who are choosing the profession because of the educational grants and loan reimbursements, though should have never become teachers. Same with our medical system ...

Thanks for the read!

Lea C

Mark Fisher  says:
5 months ago

Thank you very much indeed.

Thats why we home educated my 3 children.

They were all taught at home until they were 12

and hence acheived top grades.

(What have I created?? they are all "jocks" who can

score +-100% in algebra tests wearing boxing gloves)

My favourite part of this chronicle is the part where the

Jocks, in desperation, actually try to read the paper by themselves.

One also notices their inate collaborative instinct - these are herd animals who, once isolated from their comrades, have little chance of feeding or breeding unaided.

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