"No! I won't eat it!" declares the stubborn three-year-old when presented with a plate of food at the family dinner table. Just once, you think, it would be nice to enjoy a family dinner without having to fight with your child about what he will or will not eat. You know that you can't force feed the child, yet you refuse to play the role of their private chef who is willing to whip up whatever their little heart desires. What's a mom or dad to do?

Well, moms and dads, there is hope. As the parent of three children, I have dealt with my share of picky eaters and it's not fun, but there are lots of ways to get your little one to sit down and eat like a big boy or girl without a lot of meal time drama.

First you must understand that as a two, or three-year-old, pretty much everything in your life is dictated to you by others. All you hear is "No, don't do that!" or, "No, you can't have that." There is not much that little kids can control in their lives, but they soon discover that they can control what or whether they eat. Keep in mind when you are reading these tips that a child will not starve themselves out of spite. Eventually, they will eat something.

If the problem is an apparent lack of appetite and this problem persists, then you must seek medical attention right away. What this article is addressing is dealing with the stubborn, willful child who is trying to get his or her way with his parents.

Here are some tips for dealing with finicky eaters:

• Let them choose what they will eat:

When you are planning a meal, get their input on what you are offering. Give them a choice between entrees and make sure to have on hand a variety of foods that they like.

• Get kids involved in meal preparation:

When you prepare your grocery shopping list, ask them about what foods they would like for you to get. When you are preparing meals, get them to help out in the kitchen so that they can see how the food is prepared. Even little ones can help stir, or help pour measured ingredients into a bowl.

• Don't let them make a scene:

If they have told you what they would like to eat and then you present them with and they still refuse to eat it, then do not offer substitutes. Remind them that this was their choice and if they refuse to eat this, then they will go hungry. Remember, they will not starve themselves. They will eat something eventually.

• Offer your children a variety of foods often:

Children's palates have not matured the way adult's palates have, so they may not like some of your gourmet recipes. Encourage your child to be adventurous and take two bites of new foods to expose them to a variety of flavors and tastes.

• Sneak the veggies into their diet in creative ways:

Jessica Seinfeld has written a great book called, Deceptively Delicious, which has lots of great recipes for adding pureed vegetable to simple foods that kids love without them realizing that they are eating their vegetables. Of course, it's also important for them to learn to eat their vegetables on their plate, but that process takes time. If you use the recipes in this book, you can be sure that they are receiving the nutrition their body needs despite the fact that they otherwise refuse to eat vegetables.

In closing I will remind you that as a parent you must choose your battles. Your little person in training might be at a developmental stage where they are testing boundaries and trying to exert some modicum of control over their lives. Don't engage in a fight about what they will eat and eventually, they will lose interest. Take this battle over eating and diffuse it. Offer them healthy choices and then let it go.