How to Help a Friend Battle Depression

Depression is a devastating illness that consumes a person to the point to which he or she doesn't care about anything or anyone else. When dealing with a friend that has depression, you must remember that you can't expect that person to be a full-functioning friend. Sometimes it's hard to deal with a depressed friend because you don't get the same support that you give.

As a person who has suffered from severe major depression I can say that my friends had a hard time dealing with me. I was extremely self-centered and wanted nothing to do with the rest of the world. I felt like I was done with the world and nobody could talk me out of it. It took over a year of therapy and thousands of dollars in order for me to see that maybe there was a light at the end of the tunnel, even if the light just barely flickered. 

After overcoming the worse part of depression, I started to help my friends deal with their depression. Some of the things that I've found that worked well are:

1. If a friend tells you a plan to hurt themselves or someone else you must tell a person who can do something about it. As a friend, there is only so much you can do but a school social worker, a parent, or another trusted adult who can put the friend in a safe place.

2. Be there for them to talk. By far this is the most affective thing that any of my friends did. Just listen and no matter how stupid a problem sounds to you, that problem might be eating your friend alive. However, if the content gets to a point in which it needs to be handled by a professional (i.e. if the friend tells you about a suicide plan or plans to hurt him or herself). 

3. Don't trust every time they say, "I'm fine." That phrase is depression code for, "Someone please break down these walls I put up!" It can take some prying and if you aren't too close of a friend then it's not the best idea to just ask over and over. Make sure that the, "I'm fine," is not a cover for, "I'm ending my life tonight."

4. Remind the friend that you love them. To feel loved and wanted is the most important feeling to someone who feels worthless, worthless enough that the world would be a better place without him or her. It's vital that your friend knows you care about his or her life.

5. The most important thing is to not put too much pressure on yourself. You, as the friend, can only do so much. If you are truly concerned about the friend and there is no other way to get your friend help call the police or a crisis hotline. 1-800-784-2273

It's a difficult thing to be a good friend, an even more difficult thing to be a good friend for a friend with depression. Depression is a difficult illness and just being there is the best thing anyone can do for a friend in need.