How to Live with an Insecure Mate

Being in a relationship with an insecure person can be very challenging. Lack of trust can destroy even the best relationships. On the other hand, the best relationships are built on trust. If you find yourself in a relationship with an insecure person it willl help to understand the root cause of their insecurities. In a lot of cases their insecurities are not a result of anything you've done. We tend to bring the drama of past relationships into new relationships. This is really unfair to the person you are entering into a relationship with because you are actually holding them accountable for the wrong that someone else did. In order to avoid transferring drama from one relationship to another it is highly recommended to avoid being quick to move from one relationship into another. It is a good practice to give yourself time to recover and evaluate what went wrong in your past relationship. Take responsibility for your contribution to the demise of the relationship. Sometimes we are looking for someone who will accept us as we are and that's all good but sometimes we need to just grow up. No one wants to be in a relationship with an immature adult.

A lot of the emotional issues people carry around in life are result of something that happened during their childhood. In fact it could even be a result of something that happened while they were still in their mother's womb. An example of this is a young lady I know personally. She became pregnant with her second child while she was still quite young and unmarried. This second unplanned pregnancy left her feeling embarassed and ashamed. The daughter she would later give birth to exhibits these same traits. She becomes embarassed and ashamed whenever she does something wrong or whenever something happens to her. While most kids just start crying when they fall and hurt their knee, she becomes embarassed and ashamed. This is something that was transferred to her while she was in her mother's womb. As this little girl grows up and becomes an adult she will need help understanding these emotions in order to overcome them lest they hinder any healthy relationships in her life.

Understanding is a key to living with an insecure mate. You must understand that this is not something that is going to change overnite. If it is a result of something that happened during their childhood this is something that has been a part of their life for years. It may take years for them to realize the root cause of the issue. In the meantime you will have to do your best to avoid triggering thoughts of distrust. This can be very difficult if you are an outgoing type personality. It comes down to how much you value your relationship. Certainly these are issues that we should recognize are present before we engage in a serious relationship. But for the thousands of people who find themselves married to an insecure mate, understanding is the key.