When I got pregnant with my daughter, I was already 10 lbs. over my healthy weight. Another 35 lbs. later, I was one unhappy mama. After the birth of my daughter, I realized I really needed to get myself in gear to lose that weight. But I'm not a gym rat and I am a big foodie. 18 months later, I've managed to tone-up, eat well and lose close to 30 lbs. More importantly, I've kept the weight off - even through the holidays. Wonder of wonders.

So. How do you lose the baby weight?

I think first off, It's good to look at what not to do to lose weight. Most women want to lose weight and keep it off and a lot of programs and diets simply aren't compatible with that goal.

Here's what I did not do to lose the weight:

- Starve myself

- Eat gross, weird or special food (i.e. wheat grass shots, grapefruit or Jenny Craig meals)

- Work out a lot

- Take pills

- Join a gym

Here's what I did do:

- Make realistic goals and have milestones along the way: A few days after my daughter was born, my husband and I started talking about my plan for losing weight and the first thing I said was that I wanted to get down to 125lbs by June 2007. Obviously, that did NOT happen. I haven't been 125 since I was 16, so chances are, I will never get down to that weight without unnatural help. But eventually we settled on "under 130" as a realistic weight for me. I know how I feel at that weight and it feels good. Then my husband asked how he could help motivate me. A couple things I really wanted got put onto a list: a diamond wedding band, hair color, new clothes. We decided that when I reached my pre-pregnancy weight (142lbs), I could get a new hair color and style (about $200) and at my final goal, I could get a new wardrobe and a ring. It's definitely helped to have those carrots dangling in front of me. Whatever carrots work for you (non-food, of course), reward yourself when you reach your goals!

- Figured out my daily calorie needs: There are a lot of great sites out there to help you with this, my favorite is Dietician.com. They take the most detailed analysis of your body and account for things like breastfeeding and bone structure. They'll give you a nutrition facts-style breakdown of how many calories you should eat, as well as how much fat, protein, carbohydrates you should include in your diet.

- Eat a lot (5-6 meals a day, small): Keep your metabolism running consistently throughout the day. Don't starve yourself! Skipping meals or eating unreasonably small meals will just tell your body that it's not getting enough food and it will start to store everything . Don't overdo it, but make sure you're not going hungry. 5-6 small meals (or 3 meals and 2 decent-sized snacks) will give you plenty of fuel to get through the day and not feel that dreaded "I'm on a diet" feeling.

- Get active: In a normal week (when the Bay Area is not going through the second flood), I walk at least 30 minutes a day, 6-7 days a week, toddlers are a great help in this aspect. My lifestyle with a child is 100% more active and on-the-go than it was when I was an "independent" working woman.

- Push-ups, sit-ups, squats: That's it. I do those strength-training exercises 3-5 times a week, ideally more but usually less. They help more than you'd think and they're easy! If you don't like those exercises, talk to someone who is knowledgeable about fitness routines and come up with a set of 4 or 5 core exercises that you can do every day. Your results won't be dramatic, but over time, you'll be able to more definition and toning.

- Breastfeed: This didn't help me lose weight, but it did help me maintain my weight loss while eating a pretty hefty amount of calories. If you're a new mom, I highly recommend breastfeeding as much as you can for as long as you can. It's not only good for your baby, it's great for you! I've been breastfeeding for over 18 months and can attest to a multitude of benefits for both mom and baby. Lots of moms face major obstacles, especially during the first couple months of breastfeeding so if you need it, make sure you get help! The La Leche League provides many different options for assistance, Mothering Magazine has a wealth of advice from experts on the subject and your local hospital or newborn center should have lactation consultants on staff who can talk you through difficulties. I nearly gave up a number of times during my first two months of nursing because I was totally unprepared for the pain, but after lots of practice and patience, we got through it and I am so happy I've been able to nurse this long.

- Joined a support group website: Whether you decide to do Weight Watchers and count your points online or want a more casual, free place like Spark People, an online community where you can check in, track your meals and calories and find out more about healthy living will help keep you motivated.

The important thing is to make changes to your everyday life that you can stick with, forever. Once you lose the weight you want to lose, you want to keep it off, right?! If you cut out entire food groups or things you love to eat (or cannot resist), you're much more likely to fall off the wagon later on when you've lost your initial resolve. Be realistic about the things you're willing to do and able to stick with; if you know you won't be able to resist sweets or carbs, don't cut them out! Learn to eat in moderation and listen to your body when it's full. I don't think you need to kill yourself to get your body back. I never really liked working out and am definitely not a gym rat. I can't even afford a gym membership, nor do I have a car or a babysitter to enable me to get away a couple days a week for training. It's taken me 18 months to lose close to 30 lbs, but the weight that's come off hasn't come back and to me that's a big deal. Crash dieting, starving yourself, major work-out programs for short periods of time; all these things may help you drop a lot of weight, but long-term weight loss (IE that which will change your body for good) is all about coming up with things that you can incorporate into your normal life.