How to Make An Eighty-Two-Year-Old Lady Smile
60I'm Not Deaf or Stupid
Don't you just hate it when people treat you like an idiot in public? You wonder what it might be in your appearance or demeanor that makes folk think they have to speak slowly and repeat everything twice, help you across the street, or insist on carrying your groceries to the car for you. Sometimes other people's kindnesses are welcome and gratifying; sometimes you have to bite your tongue to avoid a scene. No, I am not deaf, stupid, or demented. Yes, I know how to use the ATM. No, I don't need you to explain it to me anyway, just in case.
Getting older is a bitch. You look in the mirror and think: when did it happen? When did I become wrinkled and white? Just yesterday I was the confident woman with two young children -- now the kids are both retired, and I'm still here, just more tired and sometimes, to tell the truth, a little unsteady on my feet.
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I Like To Get Out
For her 80th birthday, my brother and I gave my mum a laptop (ok: I confess -- Ian bought it; but it was my idea. . . ). She loves it. She reads newspapers, Googles stuff she'd like to find out more about, and sends emails (when she's not busy texting folk). But that doesn't mean she spends all her time at home -- she gets out and about as much as she likes, taking the bus into town and getting a taxi back. It is genuinely perplexing to her when people assume she is addled, incapable, or otherwise invalided -- her snowy-white hair is not a pennant signaling age; it's just something that happened to her while she was busy doing something else.
She remembers what Belfast was like before The Troubles escalated in 1969. This means that she was able to hold on to a sense of continuity as history was made and the province finally subsided into a purposeful peace process. Her keen intellect survived the sexism of the Seventies in her work at the Electricity Service; her sense of outrage at the civil unrest made her an ardent "Peace Woman" in the movement to quell terrorism in Northern Ireland. The first bomb aimed at a non-sectarian target exploded just yards away from her, and she brought the whole office home with her (we lived just two streets away) to calm many shaken nerves.
Her sense of humor is evident in her story-telling and her wit can be delightfully mischevious. She can finish the cryptic crossword puzzle in the time it takes to drink a cup of tea. She had to bury her dear husband when she was 64. She has survived illnesses and falls with a determination that she takes for granted, without perhaps realizing that lesser folk would have given up at some point, or that giving up was even an option.
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Now she is learning to accept the courtesy of strangers when they open doors or otherwise show respect for her age. Being an "elder" is a new role to learn, and it is one that is making her smile.
(thanks, Mum, and Happy Mother's Day, again.)
History of Northern Ireland
This Week's HubMob Topic: Mother's Day
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Moms are people too. Despite popular beliefs, moms do have a life of their own. In honor of my friends, I've compiled a list that I'm sure they would appreciate. Hopefully it will inspire you to think about your mom, who she is, what she gets into, what she wants to get into, and hopefully this year, she won't say, "You shouldn't have" or, "I would have been just as happy with a phone call." Cause quite frankly, we all know what that means. - 7 months ago
- Happy Mother's Day in Heaven - A Letter to My Friend
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Comments
Thanks, EM -- she's a great gal.
Your Mam sounds like a lovely lady. I have several friends in their 80s that I made through my art club. They're all sharp, witty and sprightly, as well as being great artists. I hope I'm even half so good when I'm their age!
Loved it---Ms Tombe go girl--go! I'm right with you.
What a role model! Strength and beauty! I'd bet she and my gramma would have been best friends, tho gram was a few years older, same spunk same rebelliousness to age and weakness! Thank you!
That's the kind of 82 year old I wanna be. Great hub!
Lovely tribute. I am trying to age gracefully, but I think I would have had to youth gracefully first, don't you?
Wow she is adorable and I must say you do take after her in looks, or it seems to me anyways...I love the way you wrote about her and I do hope when I am 80 (yikes) I am as sweet looking as she is...
I say Yikes ! at 80 cause I am only 11 years away from it....holy shit...:o) Hugs G-Ma
Wow there is something about this hub that makes it a cut above the rest, i have seen ladies age so beautifully in other parts of the world, just wish that every women could have the same zest for life at that age. i have to add your mom looks rocking in that snap. great hub indeed.
I'd like to have a cup of tea with her.
Thanks, guys: she's a quare geg, indeed.
I guess you get that aplenty, but here it is anyway: you look like her a lot! Oh, and tell Ms Tombe that if it's me holding the door for her, it'll be because a gentleman like me always does it for the ladies, not because she's old or nada like that! :-)
What a woman - she has been through the hardest of times but still has a beautiful demeanour. My mother-in-law was from Larne, and had the same wicked smile :)
I love stories like these! My mother is 81 and as independent as they come, and often she wonders what the fuss is all about! :)
Your mum sounds so much fun, and of course I am not surprised! Thanks for sharing :D
Btw, I love Simple Minds too!
A very sweet hub, Teresa! I bet your mom is lots of fun - agree w/ Cris A, no surprise considering how clever her daughter is :-)
Elena, Sufi, Feline, Cris, Dineane -- thank you all.
Cris -- the video for Belfast Child shows the town I grew up in; not the one my mum remembers from her childhood.
I kept seeing your face pop up on hubs I while I was visiting them, but this is the first time I got a second to pop in. I should have done that a long time ago. I knew by your comments, your stuff would be a great read, and it most definitley is. One of my favorites on hubpages so far!! Really nice. Thank you so much for sharing and 2 big thumbs up to MOM what a gal!
Thank you, 1964 -- I appreciate your kind comments. And so will me ma!
You have a great inheritance. Cheers to your Mum, and to you for recognizing her specialness.
That is awesome. She must love you both and you her a great deal.Hope she lives to be 120
Hi Teresa, it is wonderful to know your mom through your eyes. :-) You are both wonderful people and I hope I grow old as graciously..full of energy for life. To mothers and love. Thank you for sharing. :-) Love and light.
Beautiful and very touching Hub. Many regards to your Mum.
Your mom is beautiful and so is this tribute to her. I bet her beautiful smile in the picture burst forth when she read "How to make an Eighty-Two-Year-Old Lady Smile". I am picturing her reading this from her laptop. What a great idea even if Ian bought it!
Thank you all for reading and for such kind comments. The next time we all happen to be in Belfast at the same time, let's go for a wee cup of tea at my mum's.
Bet your mum is so proud of you, as you are of her, that is evident from this Teresa.
What a beautiful old crow! I love her smile. So I wonder if she might decide to hub any time soon? Sounds like she could teach us a thing or two. Wonderful tribute, Teresa; didn't think you had a mum ;).
Hey, Soula -- I'm going to try to get her started on HubPages when I'm over there in September. I know we would all get a real kick out of her stories -- and she has so many to tell. Doesn't she look like a wise old bird? Sadly, my dad died in '91; I'm very lucky Mum is still here.
Your mom sounds delightful and looks very cute in her pic! My mom is only 69, but I hope she grows old as well as your mom has done!
Stickin' oot! This page has made me so homesick for my Nannie - also 82 and back home in Belfast. I forget to tell her how much I love her but tomorrow I'm going to give her a call and make sure she knows what a special lady she really is. x
Awww! Shimoda! never neglect yer Nana!
Giving her a laptop sounds waaay better than another oxygen tank?! I wouldn't mind giving my parents a laptop if only I had to pay hundreds more to have the whole translated in our language.
Thanks so much--that was fantastic
Teresa.......what a lovely tribute to your mom! Sounds as though she is going about the aging process about as good as anyone can and better than most. My mother will be 84 this October so we have that in common. Hope your mother does start writing on hubpages!
Nice tribute Teresa, she sounds lovely.
I love this part, "her snowy-white hair is not a pennant signaling age; it's just something that happened to her while she was busy doing something else." She sounds like a very interesting and wonderful lady!
When I was pregnant, I went through much the same thing, people holding doors for me, wanting to help me with packages. I remember thinking, I'm pregnant, not an invalid! I found it annoying. I'm glad she is learning to accept it with grace and wit!
What a beautiful mother you have, Teresa. She looks like my mom very much.
I'd wish my mother (who is 80) would agree to accept a laptop. She still calls our PC monitor a TV. But some time ago I tried to teach her to drive in our driveway. She pressed gas and break semalteniously. Thanks God she has a great sence of humor. Five years ago my son wrote an essay about her and I recently found it and published it here yesterday: http://hubpages.com/hub/Iterview-With-My-Grandma-A
If you don't mind my sharing....
Your mum sounds great - she irons tea-towels, she uses a laptop and she surfs the internet. I wish my mum would do more than iron socks. She calls me in France from the UK for me to do her Tesco shop on the net ... Great video below - I spent 5 days in the Jordanian desert in NOV 1999 with Jim Kerr, his dad (another Jim Kerr) and Charlie Burchill .... we walked from Amman to Aqaba - it's a long story - maybe a HUB ....
Hay...considering Greying Elderly with Dignity is an action of creating a counterculture which is slowly and slowly eroding from our society and culture.I salute to your goodness and grace towards eldery Mom.
More wonderful comments -- thank you, all.
ReuVera -- I enjoyed your son's essay (and so did Mum).
Iphi -- now THERE's a story I want to hear all about. What on earth were you doing in the desert? With simple minds? Hope you learned plenty of Glaswegian!
The full story and reasons of being in the desert at that time with those people cannot be told here - confidences broken, memories spoiled .... but one fun story to share. We were sitting around a camp fire one night with some Bedu our interpreter was very busy as both sides had lots of questions. But the funniest was when one of the bedu (mother tongue arabic) asked if what the guys were talking (ie.English with Glaswegian accent) was an obscure arabic dialect ! Their GL accent when they speak among themselves defeats me I have to say - very gutteral, strange intonations ... incomprehensible ...
LOL -- that sounds about right! It took me months to understand when I lived there. I think I picked up some rudimentary Japanese more easily and quickly than Glaswegian!
How delightful your words and the hub also. I think maybe you sound like your mother - bet you'll e v e n t u a l ly look like her too! Wonderful! Thank you for playing my ID game - and I thought the bra strap would be a hard one. That tells you something - you're fantastic!
Cute! =D
Another great Hub. I'm sure Momma is proud!
"Now she is learning to accept the courtesy of strangers when they open doors or otherwise show respect for her age. Being an "elder" is a new role to learn, and it is one that is making her smile."
I could only imagine..I never want to grow up!
Peace,
G|M
froggy and Generique -- thank you both so much for stopping by and admiring my "mummy." Ain't she a sweetie?
She may be your mum.....but she'll always be my auntie Phyllis!!!
Och if it isn't my wee cousin Fiona! Whaddaboutchee?
Much truth in this hub. Hank and I don't like much fussing over despite our age. Very touching hub. ~ Naddy
Dear Naddy -- thank you for reading. I've been noticing your kind comments on other hubs, and I'm delighted to meet you both.
Everyday Miracles says:
7 months ago
Beautiful! For some reason this made me cry... Maybe because I think that all mothers can understand the "getting older" thing because we watch our kids grow up.
Great hub!