How to Make Somebody Love You

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By Stacie Naczelnik



You have met your soul mate, the one and only, now what? Now you have to make him or her fall madly, drunkly, and blindly in love with you. You could use the old-fashioned, outdated method of getting to know the person, dating, and being yourself...letting the love and mutual respect develop naturally, but do you really have the time and patience for that?

In this day and age, only fools let love follow its natural course. You need to act now and manipulate the situation to your advantage, unless you want to end up a forty year old living with your parents. And, don't forget old Aunt Marge pinching your cheeks, asking for the 947,329th time: "When are you going to get married?”


Ten Ways to Make Someone Love You

  1. Be Needy: You have to let this person know you need him or her. Not only will it make your love feel good to be wanted, but you will be able to latch on quickly and get your hooks in nice and deep.

  2. Learn Everything: Dig deep and discover everything about your love. You will amaze him or her with your ability to know this person so well. It will seem uncanny that you can know so much about this person. Some might call it stalking, but it's not like background checks are illegal.
  3. Meet the Parents: You don't even have to wait for your love interest to introduce you. Take some initiative and meet them on your own. You will get to know a lot more about your love through his or her family. Plus, it will make it more difficult for this person not to get into a relationship with you once the family loves you!
  4. Say I Love You: Nothing better lets someone know exactly how you feel than actually telling them. That's right, be honest. You need to get it out in the open, and let him or her know exactly what you expect from the relationship. If your love wants to know which relationship you are talking about, don't hold back: tell this person everything! You can even share the ideas you have for what to name your kids.
  5. Get the Friends: You know #3? Well, the same thing applies here, but focus on the friends. Once you have infiltrated the group of friends, you are in for life. Find out what their interests are, where they hang out, what they do--and make sure you are always around.
  6. Make Your Interests Match: Whoever said that you should be independent was crazy. You need to find out what interests your love. Then, make sure he or she knows that you have the same exact interests! You might have to stay up all night reading up on baseball stats or learn the local theater schedules, but it will be worth it when you have your arms wrapped, dead-tight, around your love.
  7. PDA: Oh yeah...public displays of affection. Get it on as soon as possible. Nothing will endear you to your love more than being all over him or her in public. The moment you see this person, start touching. Do whatever you have to do to get a hold of his or her hand. Hug your love and don't hold those smooches back. If he or she seems a little weirded out about it, don't worry...keep the PDA going strong. It will pay out in the long run.

  8. Get a Tattoo: A huge tattoo. Preferably with a giant heart. Don't forget the most important part: your love's name! For extra points, get a tattoo of his or her face.
  9. Move In: Your love interest might not think it is a great idea at first, but you can work around that. Just start bringing your stuff over and leaving it at his or her place. Get yourself a key- I know you can find a way- and let yourself in whenever you need to. Definitely be sure to create your space at his/her place. And, make sure your picture is everywhere. This way, you won't be forgotten when you aren't around for a little while.
  10. Love Spells: If all else fails, try some love spells. That's right: voodoo it. Wrap that guy or gal around your finger. It's all about the manipulation. Steal some hair, light a candle, and bad karma be damned!

By now you should be happily in the arms of your sweet, true love.

Disclaimer

This article is meant for humorous purposes only. Any resemblance to real actions or police incidents is purely coincidental. No tattoo artists or Wiccans were injured in the creation of this article. If you are susceptible to following bad advice, this is not for you. This article is intended for those with a sense of humor, not for those who feel offended. This advice is not recommended for children, teenagers, adults, or anyone not interested in a prison record.

Comments

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maham profile image

maham  says:
5 months ago

ill try it on my bf thanks

MrMarmalade profile image

MrMarmalade  says:
5 months ago

I am too old fashioned

Thanks for the tip

G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson  says:
5 months ago

Oh dear..what a hoot..Am sure you shocked some of the hubbers Stacie my sweetie..Had me going but soon caught on hee hee ha ha G-Ma :o) hugs

singpec476 profile image

singpec476  says:
5 months ago

Great hub Stacie if only life was this simple

Princessa profile image

Princessa  says:
5 months ago

I loved it... the disclaimer is great and the advice... well I suppose some people will follow it, as you said at their own risk lol.

RFox profile image

RFox  says:
5 months ago

Now I know what I've been doing wrong all these years. Thanks for straightening me out Stacie. ;)

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

All of your comments crack me up. The disclaimer brought me a lot of secret pleasure.

VioletSun profile image

VioletSun  says:
5 months ago

The disclaimer made chuckle! You have a creative mind in order to write a fun hub like this one on love. LOL!

jsullivan41 profile image

jsullivan41  says:
5 months ago

HAHA, or anyone interested in a prison record. PRICESLESS! I was reading this thinking to myself "This has got the be a joke...I hope noone actually takes this seriously..." Hysterical.

compu-smart profile image

compu-smart  says:
5 months ago

You sure have giving me other ways to find true love..........Voodoo lol

Sylvia Page profile image

Sylvia Page  says:
5 months ago

Stacie you are brilliant and outrageous!! Loved it beggining to end disclaimer topped it offffff!! Loved the voodoo part and prison record.. Any lessons on voodooism?

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Ah...voodoo. We shall see!

Victori profile image

Victori  says:
5 months ago

I've tried all these and I can tell you they come with mixed results. That's to say I was once young, and silly. (Oh to be back there again). I might have added in, propose early in the relationship and move fast if your love replies yes! True love is great, even if short lived. Everyone should try it at least once.

flread45 profile image

flread45  says:
5 months ago

To get some one to love you,you need too cook for them.

ang3lz profile image

ang3lz  says:
5 months ago

Gr8 tips! I'll try them on my new buddy.

huba7 profile image

huba7  says:
5 months ago

Good tips for those looking for love, i wonder whether this should include the foods/delicacies your lover is fond of, in my culture, the say the love of a man is in his stomach-give him what he enjoys eating most and he will love you more than you would have anticipated. Am a man, and my wife has tried all these tricks on me, and oh yes, it works!

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

We have a saying like that too: The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

I certainly hope all of you patting me on the back for giving such good tips have read the entire article, particularly the disclaimer.

caspar profile image

caspar  says:
5 months ago

I don't like to be thought of as acting "needy" but I did hook my husband into our first date by asking him if he would come over and help me fit a bulb in my car's back light, even though I know I could have done it myself!

FaireMaid profile image

FaireMaid  says:
5 months ago

Very funny. Made me laugh out loud.

Cinda profile image

Cinda  says:
5 months ago

stacie!! Thanks to u for your tips and answering my request! Hahhahahaha.. finally I found my 'true' luv!! :P

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Not a problem, so glad people are finding love!

nathaniel okonta  says:
5 months ago

how can someone make love

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Oh, nathaniel, that's a whole new ball game. Play safe.

Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson  says:
5 months ago

Great article, so funny! I agree with the others...the disclaimer is just perfect! Hilarious, thx for the laugh.

vreccc profile image

vreccc  says:
5 months ago

This is a riot!! I read a bit of your posts, Stacie, but have never come across a humerous one, so I took it for real at first. When I read "be needy" I was already thinking of what I was going to comment. "No, no, no... don't do that".

Nice!!!!

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Ha ha...just when you had me figured out!

vreccc profile image

vreccc  says:
5 months ago

Never judge a book by its cover and never think you have anybody pegged.

bheem profile image

bheem  says:
5 months ago

ha ha....enjoyed reading..humerous disclaimer

domnic  says:
5 months ago

i have already tried all these tips... but i didn't get a true girld friend... if anybody interested with me please mail me 2 domnicsuresh@gmail.com frnds... i need a Gud Girl Frnd...

Gerg profile image

Gerg  says:
5 months ago

Love the disclaimer - and I think it's a hoot that you probably really needed to have that there! I only wish I could say these only happened on Comedy Central.

Oh, and domnic - see my hub "do the opposite of what doesn't work!" The advice being, um, DON'T do these things! Good luck!

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Domnic, please listen to Gerg.

helpdeskian profile image

helpdeskian  says:
5 months ago

I have always been a fan of the girls with a Life size headshot of there ex tattoed on the chest! that just screams "i'm Classy" Funny Post!

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Well, I'm glad someone gets off on it!

jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock  says:
5 months ago

Note to self: if you meet any ladies who have read this, run like the wind and don,t stop until you know that they are nowhere near you.....jimmy

LOL, stacie Grrrrrrrrrrreat Hub you got here 80}

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Seriously, the comments are more amusing than the actual hub.

Natashabassett profile image

Natashabassett  says:
5 months ago

i tried ALL of these things and I am still single (and 36)

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Are you really surprised?

Mschanl profile image

Mschanl  says:
5 months ago

Great article Stacie, I enjoyed reading it! :)

OTIS  says:
5 months ago

I THINK I WILL TRY IT ON MY BFF'S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I KNOW THAT HE DOES NOT LOVE HER AND HE IS GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HER ANY WAY

AND I AM A GIRL

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Wow, Otis. Um...I think you should...NOT do that. Pretty sure your BFF will become your EF (Enemy Forever).

Garry Nelson profile image

Garry Nelson  says:
5 months ago

Hello,

You had me blustering and shaking my head for the first three before I caught on, and I thought you were the idiot. Good stuff.

Garry Nelson

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Thanks Garry...I think.

simmi  says:
5 months ago

thanks fr suggestion.

if u need frend e-mail to me

hey_simmi@yahoo.co.in

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
5 months ago

Hm, Simmi, thanks but I think I will pass.

Devin Aldine profile image

Devin Aldine  says:
5 months ago

This made me smile. It's the way for those crazy stalkers... creepy. The scary thing is, as satirical as this was, some people are actually like that.

Susan Ng profile image

Susan Ng  says:
4 months ago

Haha! When I saw tip#1: Be Needy, I knew there was no way on earth you could be serious. :D Just for laughs, though, I'd like to see someone do all these. Hehe...

Sandilyn profile image

Sandilyn  says:
4 months ago

Well you have lots of great points. Just don't change yourself for someone else. You must be yourself for it to work out for the long run. So many relationships are through aways now. I am old fashioned too. Be yourself, fall in love. Then it falls into place. Conquer the world together.

Bike Web Guy profile image

Bike Web Guy  says:
4 months ago

Stacy you look like such an innocent mom type. You really know how to give great relationship advice. Mix this one with your drinking games and it should be great fun. Maybe invite your new love's parents over for a couple of Drinking games...

Outstanding, I really like the idea about getting to know her parents right away.

joblot profile image

joblot  says:
3 months ago

Hi Stacie,

What fun - my wife would probably think I'd gone mad if I started some of that!! If I could recommend a book that is great for helping relationships between men and women it would be John Grey's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" - obviously this title has become a cliche, but the messages within are fantastic!

Cheers, Dan

Sarah Marie profile image

Sarah Marie  says:
3 months ago

Hilarious!

Woody Marx profile image

Woody Marx  says:
3 months ago

Ha! Very silly and very funny. And I'm sure many people actually DO these things!

candy  says:
3 months ago

Its good to those in need of love.I think it can work.

shotgunbanjo profile image

shotgunbanjo  says:
2 months ago

well, loving someone is the best thing to do in your life...both person are in love, it keeps on burning...dont lose let love spread!!!!

516Ads profile image

516Ads  says:
2 months ago

Stacie, Your title, How To Make Somebody Love You & your disclaimer spirred my writing.

Additionally your mentioning of being 'needed'. We often hear of people who need, in my opinion the feeling of 'being needed' is extremely important. Too many people feel that they don't matter ... I want to let those people know that they do. From one loving citizen to anpther, keep spreading love. - Best Wishes, David

rachel  says:
2 months ago

I WIL TRY IT.THANKS

ry  says:
2 months ago

this is ridiculous

I wouldnt do half of these things

twohandtouch profile image

twohandtouch  says:
2 months ago

L-O-V-E I-T

Yet another great tongue in cheek look at this wonderful world we call love and dating....

preciousglow profile image

preciousglow  says:
2 months ago

I think we can make it by gifts of jewelry.

selfhelp  says:
4 weeks ago

You can't make anyone love you.... everyone has free will choice. Just be who you were ment to be, command what kind of person you want and allow it to happen for you.

tisha  says:
2 weeks ago

this is stupidness wit people why people does do those thing

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