How to Make Somebody Love You
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You have met your soul mate, the one and only, now what? Now you have to make him or her fall madly, drunkly, and blindly in love with you. You could use the old-fashioned, outdated method of getting to know the person, dating, and being yourself...letting the love and mutual respect develop naturally, but do you really have the time and patience for that?
In this day and age, only fools let love follow its natural course. You need to act now and manipulate the situation to your advantage, unless you want to end up a forty year old living with your parents. And, don't forget old Aunt Marge pinching your cheeks, asking for the 947,329th time: "When are you going to get married?”
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Ten Ways to Make Someone Love You
- Be Needy: You have to let this person know you need him or her. Not only will it make your love feel good to be wanted, but you will be able to latch on quickly and get your hooks in nice and deep.
- Learn Everything: Dig deep and discover everything about your love. You will amaze him or her with your ability to know this person so well. It will seem uncanny that you can know so much about this person. Some might call it stalking, but it's not like background checks are illegal.
- Meet the Parents: You don't even have to wait for your love interest to introduce you. Take some initiative and meet them on your own. You will get to know a lot more about your love through his or her family. Plus, it will make it more difficult for this person not to get into a relationship with you once the family loves you!
- Say I Love You: Nothing better lets someone know exactly how you feel than actually telling them. That's right, be honest. You need to get it out in the open, and let him or her know exactly what you expect from the relationship. If your love wants to know which relationship you are talking about, don't hold back: tell this person everything! You can even share the ideas you have for what to name your kids.
- Get the Friends: You know #3? Well, the same thing applies here, but focus on the friends. Once you have infiltrated the group of friends, you are in for life. Find out what their interests are, where they hang out, what they do--and make sure you are always around.
- Make Your Interests Match: Whoever said that you should be independent was crazy. You need to find out what interests your love. Then, make sure he or she knows that you have the same exact interests! You might have to stay up all night reading up on baseball stats or learn the local theater schedules, but it will be worth it when you have your arms wrapped, dead-tight, around your love.
PDA: Oh yeah...public displays of affection. Get it on as soon as possible. Nothing will endear you to your love more than being all over him or her in public. The moment you see this person, start touching. Do whatever you have to do to get a hold of his or her hand. Hug your love and don't hold those smooches back. If he or she seems a little weirded out about it, don't worry...keep the PDA going strong. It will pay out in the long run.
- Get a Tattoo: A huge tattoo. Preferably with a giant heart. Don't forget the most important part: your love's name! For extra points, get a tattoo of his or her face.
- Move In: Your love interest might not think it is a great idea at first, but you can work around that. Just start bringing your stuff over and leaving it at his or her place. Get yourself a key- I know you can find a way- and let yourself in whenever you need to. Definitely be sure to create your space at his/her place. And, make sure your picture is everywhere. This way, you won't be forgotten when you aren't around for a little while.
- Love Spells: If all else fails, try some love spells. That's right: voodoo it. Wrap that guy or gal around your finger. It's all about the manipulation. Steal some hair, light a candle, and bad karma be damned!
By now you should be happily in the arms of your sweet, true love.
Disclaimer
This article is meant for humorous purposes only. Any resemblance to real actions or police incidents is purely coincidental. No tattoo artists or Wiccans were injured in the creation of this article. If you are susceptible to following bad advice, this is not for you. This article is intended for those with a sense of humor, not for those who feel offended. This advice is not recommended for children, teenagers, adults, or anyone not interested in a prison record.
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Comments
I am too old fashioned
Thanks for the tip
Oh dear..what a hoot..Am sure you shocked some of the hubbers Stacie my sweetie..Had me going but soon caught on hee hee ha ha G-Ma :o) hugs
Great hub Stacie if only life was this simple
I loved it... the disclaimer is great and the advice... well I suppose some people will follow it, as you said at their own risk lol.
Now I know what I've been doing wrong all these years. Thanks for straightening me out Stacie. ;)
All of your comments crack me up. The disclaimer brought me a lot of secret pleasure.
The disclaimer made chuckle! You have a creative mind in order to write a fun hub like this one on love. LOL!
HAHA, or anyone interested in a prison record. PRICESLESS! I was reading this thinking to myself "This has got the be a joke...I hope noone actually takes this seriously..." Hysterical.
You sure have giving me other ways to find true love..........Voodoo lol
Stacie you are brilliant and outrageous!! Loved it beggining to end disclaimer topped it offffff!! Loved the voodoo part and prison record.. Any lessons on voodooism?
Ah...voodoo. We shall see!
I've tried all these and I can tell you they come with mixed results. That's to say I was once young, and silly. (Oh to be back there again). I might have added in, propose early in the relationship and move fast if your love replies yes! True love is great, even if short lived. Everyone should try it at least once.
To get some one to love you,you need too cook for them.
Gr8 tips! I'll try them on my new buddy.
Good tips for those looking for love, i wonder whether this should include the foods/delicacies your lover is fond of, in my culture, the say the love of a man is in his stomach-give him what he enjoys eating most and he will love you more than you would have anticipated. Am a man, and my wife has tried all these tricks on me, and oh yes, it works!
We have a saying like that too: The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
I certainly hope all of you patting me on the back for giving such good tips have read the entire article, particularly the disclaimer.
I don't like to be thought of as acting "needy" but I did hook my husband into our first date by asking him if he would come over and help me fit a bulb in my car's back light, even though I know I could have done it myself!
Very funny. Made me laugh out loud.
stacie!! Thanks to u for your tips and answering my request! Hahhahahaha.. finally I found my 'true' luv!! :P
Not a problem, so glad people are finding love!
how can someone make love
Oh, nathaniel, that's a whole new ball game. Play safe.
Great article, so funny! I agree with the others...the disclaimer is just perfect! Hilarious, thx for the laugh.
This is a riot!! I read a bit of your posts, Stacie, but have never come across a humerous one, so I took it for real at first. When I read "be needy" I was already thinking of what I was going to comment. "No, no, no... don't do that".
Nice!!!!
Ha ha...just when you had me figured out!
Never judge a book by its cover and never think you have anybody pegged.
ha ha....enjoyed reading..humerous disclaimer
i have already tried all these tips... but i didn't get a true girld friend... if anybody interested with me please mail me 2 domnicsuresh@gmail.com frnds... i need a Gud Girl Frnd...
Love the disclaimer - and I think it's a hoot that you probably really needed to have that there! I only wish I could say these only happened on Comedy Central.
Oh, and domnic - see my hub "do the opposite of what doesn't work!" The advice being, um, DON'T do these things! Good luck!
Domnic, please listen to Gerg.
I have always been a fan of the girls with a Life size headshot of there ex tattoed on the chest! that just screams "i'm Classy" Funny Post!
Well, I'm glad someone gets off on it!
Note to self: if you meet any ladies who have read this, run like the wind and don,t stop until you know that they are nowhere near you.....jimmy
LOL, stacie Grrrrrrrrrrreat Hub you got here 80}
Seriously, the comments are more amusing than the actual hub.
i tried ALL of these things and I am still single (and 36)
Are you really surprised?
Great article Stacie, I enjoyed reading it! :)
I THINK I WILL TRY IT ON MY BFF'S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I KNOW THAT HE DOES NOT LOVE HER AND HE IS GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HER ANY WAY
AND I AM A GIRL
Wow, Otis. Um...I think you should...NOT do that. Pretty sure your BFF will become your EF (Enemy Forever).
Hello,
You had me blustering and shaking my head for the first three before I caught on, and I thought you were the idiot. Good stuff.
Garry Nelson
Thanks Garry...I think.
thanks fr suggestion.
if u need frend e-mail to me
hey_simmi@yahoo.co.in
Hm, Simmi, thanks but I think I will pass.
This made me smile. It's the way for those crazy stalkers... creepy. The scary thing is, as satirical as this was, some people are actually like that.
Haha! When I saw tip#1: Be Needy, I knew there was no way on earth you could be serious. :D Just for laughs, though, I'd like to see someone do all these. Hehe...
Well you have lots of great points. Just don't change yourself for someone else. You must be yourself for it to work out for the long run. So many relationships are through aways now. I am old fashioned too. Be yourself, fall in love. Then it falls into place. Conquer the world together.
Stacy you look like such an innocent mom type. You really know how to give great relationship advice. Mix this one with your drinking games and it should be great fun. Maybe invite your new love's parents over for a couple of Drinking games...
Outstanding, I really like the idea about getting to know her parents right away.
Hi Stacie,
What fun - my wife would probably think I'd gone mad if I started some of that!! If I could recommend a book that is great for helping relationships between men and women it would be John Grey's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" - obviously this title has become a cliche, but the messages within are fantastic!
Cheers, Dan
Hilarious!
Ha! Very silly and very funny. And I'm sure many people actually DO these things!
Its good to those in need of love.I think it can work.
well, loving someone is the best thing to do in your life...both person are in love, it keeps on burning...dont lose let love spread!!!!
Stacie, Your title, How To Make Somebody Love You & your disclaimer spirred my writing.
Additionally your mentioning of being 'needed'. We often hear of people who need, in my opinion the feeling of 'being needed' is extremely important. Too many people feel that they don't matter ... I want to let those people know that they do. From one loving citizen to anpther, keep spreading love. - Best Wishes, David
I WIL TRY IT.THANKS
this is ridiculous
I wouldnt do half of these things
L-O-V-E I-T
Yet another great tongue in cheek look at this wonderful world we call love and dating....
I think we can make it by gifts of jewelry.
You can't make anyone love you.... everyone has free will choice. Just be who you were ment to be, command what kind of person you want and allow it to happen for you.
this is stupidness wit people why people does do those thing
I think this was a good hub, lots of good things try the next time you feel like youve bitten by the infatuation bug.
hello,
I saw your hub on the best of the hubs and I wanted to see for myself.
Indeed, you deserve to be in that special class of writers. In your article
you have managed to include every foible known to woman, and, reaching into the pickle barrel of satire came up with some real dills. Satire isn't easy top pull off without offending someone. I dunno, is satire even allowed at university now? My life has been too serious and now, thanks to your humor suggestion, I'm just not going to take myself so seriously and--
I give you--3 thumbs up!
Thank you.
If you get any attention with using these methods perposely relationship will get last very soon. And can apply these methods only for somebody who dosen't use his inteligance.
Hilarious.
I lol'ed.
Stacie ....do love exisit in a hated world?
You have a great sense of humor, Stasie. It was fun reading, thanks.
yea nice hub..
it was fun readin it but the girl that i love has a bf :(... wt should i do 'cause i love her so much and i told her that i love her
thanks
how can u write this bullshit u r crazy wt do u know abt love its easy to say then to do this is worthless
i strongly agree with point numbner 6
I like ur article but Idont agree with u about making my interests matching hers bnut I'll try .I think its better to be urself and to be normal
this will not work
Love this article, funny and candid. Too bad tons of people actively live thier lives this way... I guess we can see that from the posted comments. Oh what a mess! Actually operating this way in a relationship can be quite painful for both involved, and OH the drama!
-- seriously people, READ THE STINKIN' DISCLAIMER!!
its sooooo STUPID
Love is not about manipulating some one .Love is a natural progression and if that person is right for you and you for them every thing else will fall in to place.Part of falling in love is the challenges that comes your way on this some times hard and infuriating road.I am crazy in love with my guy and he with me and it was fun getting there.It happened by simply being our selves and taking the time to get to know all about each other.If you have to force someone to fall in love then it wont last.True ever lasting love comes from the heart,what will be will be.
Natasha bassett is a terrible mother.
What do you do if you REALLY fall in love with someone who you've never met, but have been talking online and you swore it could never happen to you, but then it creeps up and you, and for the first time, you know it is more than a crush - it feels different from anything else before. You have the same interests, you would do ANYTHING for her, you love EVERYTHING about her, and you just want to make her happy, BUT she is taken. How do you get her out of your mind when you KNOW you can't?
..yeah! its good.. funny and hilarious.. hehe! but its a case to case basis.. can't afford to do this, if it is a secret love.. its more on being aggresive.. i think.. aha!
I always do that to boys and i am still single (at 47)
Hahahaha, very interesting. They will certainly work out.
hey dat was cooooooooooooool............stacie dese ideas work..........thanx babe
i love a boy he is yunger that me in a year im not too old im 13 he is 12 I LOVW HEM SO MATCH
I was wondering I try doing what you said Ill be dumped. But it was wonderful. I couldnt stop laughing. Thumbs up for this article
i learn a lot il try too do my best soo thnhs now i know..... thnks a lot
Dont Be Shy To Say I LOve You To Your Friend
I really have a massive crush on this boy but he hates me! How can I make sure that he knows that I love him without fooling myself?
Also, everytime I watch Beauty and the beast I feel really lonely and sad.
I NEED HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't see why so many took this seriously! Very funny stuff.
Stacie, PLEASE stop calling me. Seriously, I'm embarassed for you.
we have the same first name and spelt the same! Dont u hate it when people spell your name wrong like, 20 or 30 times!!!! I hate it.
ha hha, Love spells are not good trust me on that one , It's theperson you doing that on will be crazy, trust , I've that, or the'll be dump , the'lll be stupid , they lose respect for elders, Love spells dont reside , when its gone , that person will hate like hell,
hi thats yazi, I want 2 say that i'm a girl, and i think that i cant say i love u to a man, he have to say it to me first. but i want the way how to make a man fall in love with girl.plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
3ala fekra i am 16years old.
I know that these tips are great,BELIEVE ME IT HELPS.My guy is totally crazy because of these tips and i dont know what can ever separate us.
its rubbish & reading it is a waste of time
this article on making someone fall in love with u is stupid and also gives tips on "faking it"
the best way to make someone really fall in love with u is to really just be your own natural self and when u do,u will gain so much of that person's respect
and also the part about GETTIN A TATTOO is the worst piece of advice.who wrote this???!
it is never intelligent to get a love's name's tatted on your body b/c u will never know just how and u and your gf/bf will be together and if ever the realtionship spilts,u will regret having their name on u especially if this person moves on and finds someone else.while they have found a new interest you're gonna look quite silly and struck while their name is printed on ya..ya know
love is true and you cant stop loveing keep going on
I'm still laughing ... Love the 'meet his parents' thing, then do the same with his friends.
I was looking at this web site because i wanted to know how to get my baby day back but am trying to get him to see that i love him but it seems to not work and all i want is us to be togeather as a family i dont want him to leave me i want him to be with me so an telling u that i need some help bad all i want is me and him and my kids to be togeather so can u please help me please for its to late.
I WISH TO PUT MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS SUBGECT
hay everyone from around this fabulous globe.
i will tell you a story about me,
i am now a 26 years old gay guy from slovenia, and since i was 16 yes that is right for 10 years im in love with one guy from my school, we were a bit of friends, but nothing special, but im still thinking about him and everything, its like being obssesed, but i cant help it.
im really a romantic person, so its all about candels and roses for me.
well anyway, im not having big contacts with this person, but were friends on FB and so we are being updated with eachother.
anyways
i dont even know if he is gay. after shool he went to work and study in another country, and so did i, for few years, and i met millions of people, but i cannot start a new relationship with anyone, because i am comparing everyone with him, and nobody is good enough.
so im still single.
i want him or at least i want to let go, but i just cant.
and dont tell me to forget him, because im trying to do that for the last decade, and its obviously not working.
anyway, he is now living in australia, i have never seen him with a girl, some of my friends are telling me that nobody has ever seen him with a girl,
so im susspecting that he could be gay.
but how to find out, and then how to act that he would at least be my friend.
i have to at least hear him.
if you have any suggestions please let me know.
thanks
sergej.jezernik@gmail.com
maham says:
2 years ago
ill try it on my bf thanks