How to Minimize Disagreements with Your Husband

There's a very sad fact about the human race...we fight. We're hostile, we like to have our way, and no matter how nice a person is he or she always wants to see things go their way. The inevitable result? Fights...arguments, quarrels, quibbles, and everyone has those nasty little quirks that never fail to irritate when the patience has already worn thin. No, there's no way to completely eliminate disagreements, that's just a cold hard fact. However, there are ways to help reduce those annoying fights and hopefully have fewer fights over the same subjects.

I can only speak from my own experience, and in that experience the thing I've always had the most trouble with is letting things go...and it always seems to be the easiest for him. That is, he lets it go almost as soon as it comes up and certainly long before I feel it's been resolved. Obviously the easiest thing here is just to let things go, but that's not always a possibility and so the first point becomes very important.

Communication. You've probably heard everyone say it and it's been repeated to death but is important enough to be mentioned yet again...communication is key. If an issue bothers you and you don't feel your significant other has given it due consideration let him know, it won't do any good to let it fester because it will only bother you worse with time.

The difference between addressing problems and complaining. There can sometimes be a thin line between addressing issues with him and simply complaining at him and it's important to keep this difference in mind. First decide whether an issue is actually something he can solve, in general men think they have to fix every problem they're presented with and so offering up a problem that he can't do anything about is just bound to anger him and won't solve anything. Alternatively, if there is something he can do about it that doesn't occur to him don't be afraid to give him suggestions. If you have a grievance that you have already decided he can do something about, be sure to pick a time when he has plenty of time to discuss it and tell him clearly and concisely what your problem is. Discuss said problem to any extent you need to and either agree to go over it further later or are both satisfied with the solution decided on.

Complaining, on the other hand, consists more of grumbling , interrupting his normal activities to point out shortcomings, remarks (even offhanded ones that you don't think will be offensive) thrown out about his conduct or quirks that bother you. Quirks are just that...habits of personality that may just not be fixable and may require that you develop your own coping skills so those quirks don't continue to bother you.

Try not to contradict. I never even thought about how damaging this could be until just recently when my significant other pointed out that it bothers him when I correct him or ignore him on things that I never even thought were problems...stating that the living room is a mess when he's just said it isn't that bad, not correcting something simple when he asks me to, little things like that.

Know when to draw the line. Again, this one is extremely important...while it's essential to do your best to get along with your husband or significant other there is a point where he's just getting too controlling or childish so it's important to decide where your personal line is (remember, you can't make him happy if you're not happy!) and stick to that while still making sure that the things he sees as essential are taken care of.

Be receptive if he has a problem. If you want him to talk to you when he has a problem you have to do your best not to react emotionally when he does come to you with an issue, attempt to keep a level head and have a constructive discussion about what's bothering him. Additionally, if you want him to listen to you whenever you have a problem you have to be willing to extend the same courtesy to him.

Remember, no one is perfect! You'll always have fights and undoubtedly the same issues will come up again and again, but the eventual goal is to find a happy medium where the two of you can work out problems as they arise and hopefully avoid fruitless confrontations about things neither of you can help.