This universal, continually evolving article has both philosophical and pragmatic content. The purpose of this article is not one of presentation of facts or opinions. Rather it is one of introduction or review of concepts and methodologies; inviting the reader to resolve to their own conclusions. There may even be occasional humor.

Alternate Title: How to Deal with Life.

There is something here for everyone. It can be different for each person; it can be different at different times. Take what works for you on any given day; save/ignore the rest for another day and another time.

Last Update: October 2009.

Miscommunication can cause more problems than all other factors combined. Always examine a perceived negative statement twice; it may not be negative at all. Give others the benefit of the doubt.

No one belongs here more than you.

One of the most important lessons a person can learn in life is that other people are as real behind their eyes as you are behind yours.

No one belongs here less than you.

“Just say no” is a very useful tool in life. Thrice in fact: in word; in mind; in deed.

Embarrassed about something? They'll get over it.

Common sense works, yet many people seem to ignore it. Distraction and stress are usually the cause.

Sometimes a situation you find yourself in is not about you. Sometimes it’s best to keep it that way.

Observe with curiosity, not with judgment. It's much less stressful, and much more informative.

Being in the World-Policeman business is too much work and too much stress.

Fair or not, people do judge you by your appearance.

When two mature adults discover they don’t get along, they leave each other alone. This is especially applicable to the workplace environment.

Don't bother being bothered by the conduct of a rude person. It happens millions of times a day to everyone and everywhere.

Perspective is a learned response.

Forgiveness is a learned response.

For that matter, if someone is obnoxious towards you, it’s probably because their life isn’t going very well.

Empathy is a learned response.

Understanding is a learned response.

And don't argue with an idiot. It's a waste of your time and it annoys the idiot.

Don’t suppress an inclination to talk to a stranger. Most times you will be pleasantly surprised. This applies to places like work, school, grocery stores, and malls. Not back alleys, parking lots, or your front door.

Too much introspection is not a good thing. The happy people are the ones who have found something outside themselves that interests them. It can be a career, family, school, a hobby, a project, a venture, a goal, pursuit of knowledge, helping others, helping your self, exploration, people interaction, or any combination thereof.

Don't believe everything you think.

Many goals are an iterative process.

It can take a long time to become the person you want to be.

Have you noticed whenever you accomplish something, no matter how small, you feel good afterwards?

Problems are the norm in life; not the exception.

Unfairness is the norm in life; not the exception.

Sooner or later life victimizes everybody. And it happens more than once. Obstruction, conflict, sabotage, injustice happens all the time. You are not alone. Be thankful for all the things that have not happened.

Much misfortune is self-inflicted. Much is not.

When one obstruction suddenly arises and then many more follow, perhaps a different path should be considered.

If you are subjected to an unending stream of sabotage/obstruction/victimization no matter where you turn or what you do, it's probably time for a change in location.

When all else fails, just keep plodding along. It will change; it always does.

You can keep going long after you think you can't.

Most fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Time really does heal all wounds.

Everyone does make mistakes. It's the nature of our species. In fact, it is positively amazing how virtually all of us put our foot in it on a downright regular basis.

Many mistakes are stress induced.

Things to know about worrying:

1. Most of what you worry about will never happen.

2. It’s your subconscious doing the worrying and you’re just along for the ride.

Negative thoughts all the time? Each time you become self-aware of a negative thought, just consciously think "ignore" or "forget it" or "stop it" or "shut up" or "get over it" or "I've resolved that" or "give it a rest" or "go away" or "learn(ed) from it" or "this will pass", and change the subject. In time the practice becomes automatic. After awhile, your subconscious will quit serving up so many of these kinds of thoughts to you. Buddhists and others have engaged in this practice for millennia.

Suddenly have an unexpected negative thought? Something in your immediate environment probably triggered it. Try to figure out what it was/is and act accordingly.

Poor nutrition and lack of exercise does indeed cause depression and other negative emotions.

Time really, really does heal all wounds.

Depression is anger without enthusiasm.

Perspective can be a very useful tool in life. The worst case scenario for many problems is “So what?” Save the stress for the really big problems.

Got a problem? The universe isn’t going to take care of it. The cavalry ain’t coming. Face it and fix it. If you can’t fix it, mitigate it.

Some problems can’t be solved. All you can do is just give up and leave it. Not so paradoxically, a problem removed is a problem solved.

Beware the Law of Unintended Consequences.

The fatal flaw of logic is it presupposes awareness of all relevant premises. This is seldom the case. The best one can hope for is a favorable probability.

You can affect probability, but you can’t control it.

The world is not your friend. The world is not your enemy. The world just is.

The universe doesn’t care.

Corruption and other unethical conduct are not rare events. Being continually surprised by them is a waste of time.

Change is inevitable..., unless that's what you want. Then you got to work for it.

One definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over with the expectation the result will somehow be different. However, perseverance can overcome most obstacles. The defining clue as to which is which is whether or not you are making progress in what you are attempting to accomplish.

Realistic expectations result in fewer disappointments.

The cognitive stages of coming to terms with certain parts of reality are: Awareness, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Peace.

Denial can be a deadly human trait when applied to medical symptoms.

The more accurate your perception of reality, the happier you will be in the long run. (Some parts of reality are beyond the scope of this article, but there is still the hope of mitigation.)

Be kinder than necessary; for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Why not always treat people with courtesy and respect?

Pay it forward.

Compassion is the manifestation of ethics.

You control your perceptions or they control you.

Idealists are people who aren't paying attention.

Idealists are people who don't have experience.

The way things ought to be versus the way things are. Never the twain shall meet.

You can ignore reality, but reality won’t ignore you.

According to the latest news reports, as usual, entropy is winning.

Generally speaking, our species is a mess. But we try.

Everyone knows there are many things in life more important than money. And they all cost money.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

Most corporate cultures are Darwinian, not intelligent design.

Boredom flourishes when you feel safe. It's a symptom of security.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

Two wrongs can be only the beginning.

One never really learns to swear until one learns to play online poker.

You can’t outplay bad luck. All you can do is quit and wait for another day (or week, or month).

Poker cures egocentricity.

Lying about someone is as bad as stealing from them or hitting them; so don’t do that.

Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.

Living well really is the best revenge.

Look for the spaces between your thoughts.

It appears God is not a micro-manager.

There is a rumor we are all lab rats in a science experiment.

There is a rumor we are all avatars and don’t know it.

There is a rumor we are all in school and don’t know it.

A month can be an eternity, yet ten years can be the blink of an eye.

Luck has nothing to do with it; it's all random.

Good random and bad random seem to happen in trends and cycles.

The calculations have been done; your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Where you put your awareness and your attention is where your life will go.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Enjoy the simple things.

Don't take life too seriously. No one gets out alive.

Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination.

You have an unknown expiration date. Live while you are alive.

Being happy and contributing to society are the default goals in life. Not only are both attainable, they can be mutually inclusive. Contributing to society is not hard to do; many benign activities would qualify. Whether as an employee, free-lancer, or business person; most of us earn our living by providing an ethical product or service. That’s contributing to society. Are you going to school or involved in some other learning endeavor? That’s contributing to society. Do you occasionally help someone or are always courteous to others? That’s contributing to society.

 

As to the pursuit of happiness; finding something that interests you is almost always the key.