How to Share Feelings of Deep Love With A Friend

And, risk the relationship? I’ll be mortified if I’m rejected! I’ll never be able to look them in the face again! What if it doesn’t work out!

What if stories can stop us dead in our tracks ... if we let them.

In my quest to find true love in my life, I used to make lists of what I wanted in a soul mate. You’ve probably made a list or two in your lifetime. In my refining process, I decided I wanted someone to sing me love songs. Two weeks later, just two short weeks, a good friend was sitting on my couch in the spring sunshine singing to me.

How To Find Your Soul Mate

This must be IT! They are my soul mate. It’s a sign from the Universe. How could it not be – that request was very, very specific and the delivery of results so swift.

As a human being, I’ve obtained a PhD in MSU – making Stuff Up. My mind created scenario after scenario. I just knew this relationship was worth pursuing. We were after all already good friends.

One afternoon only a few weeks later, I told my friend what I had been thinking – maybe we should give it a try.

I sat in rapt anticipation. I had put myself on the line, maybe even our friendship.

And then my query was gently rejected without an opening for the future.

We were both at a cross roads. For myself, I could have been so embarrassed and deflated that I couldn’t face my friend ever again.

My friend could have felt so threatened that they could not participate at our previously friendship intimacy level.

Or, we could acknowledge that there are many levels of intimacy which do not include sexual intimacy. We don’t understand this and we can get confused. What we did was acknowledge our caring friendship and that there was not enough reciprocity of deep romantic love to change the status of our relationship.

I could see this was hard for my friend to say. Thankfully, they were gentle and kind with their words. Now here was a part that “I” had to overcome to keep our friendship alive. I had to let go of my immediate disappointment and hurt pride. My friend, thankfully, let go of their immediate, discomfort of being put on the spot in order to keep my friendship.

The funny thing is that it wasn’t too long after my confession that I realized that we were better friends that we would ever be lovers.

Giving voice to my felling actually freed me to release the more-than-friends story line and move forward to finding true love within six months.

I say YES, tell them… and

I suggest keeping the communication concepts in mind.

1. Set a conscious intention. For example, I willingly, openly and lovingly share my heart for the highest and best for both of you.
2. Be conscious of the impact of your words as you are sharing. Words are just words and what you’re really mean might get lost or misinterpreted in delivery. Listen with your eyes.
3. Let them have their feelings. I know you’ll want reassurance that they won’t go away but give them space for their feelings.
4. And, lastly, their answer (feedback) is about them and their feelings – not a comment on you. If they say no, it doesn’t mean you are a bad person.

All this said, it is hard to take a risk. Friends are important. And, if you don’t give voice to your feelings, they will bind and distract you from enjoying your life fully.

If your friend is a co-worker, boss, employee, in relationship with another, that adds another level of complexity not addressed here.