A few years ago my son said something that made me crack up laughing but as with most of the things that kids say, if you ponder the thought they have a very interesting perspective. His quote was "Valentine's Day was made up by the card companies and florists to remind you of what a loser you are." Well when you're in jr. high and high school and they send around flowers and secret messages and if you don't get any ...well he may have a point.

But it did make me think. What is Valentine's Day really all about? It is hard to pin point the origin of Valentine's Day. It is shrouded in mystery and legend. Some say that it has both Christian and Catholic roots stemming back to the efforts to "Christianize" some pagan rituals. And then there is the story about the prisoner that was in love with his jailer's daughter and on the eve of his execution sent her a letter signed "from your Valentine."

But I think one of my favorite tales is of the martyred St. Valentine from the third century of Roman rule under Emperor Claudius II. The self-serving Claudius had decided that single men made better soldiers so he order the priest to stop preforming weddings. I'm such a romantic that I love the idea that this priest believed that this was such an injustice that he defied his decree and wed lovers anyway. Maybe not the best decision since it cost him his life. It adds a whole new dimension to "love hurts."

But getting back to the point of this story, legend and commercial marketing have two completely different takes on Valentine's day. And as my son would say if you are not a "couple" ewing and awing in candle light while you feed each other chocolates like you're a Grecian god, you're not amongst the "special" people.

Well to that I say pleeeassee! The entire concept of Valentine's is to express your love and appreciation but I have to say that it extends WAY beyond just the couple.

First of all, whether you are in a relationship or not, you can't give something you don't have so my first suggestion is to love yourself. Now I am not talking about vain, narcissistic behavior. What I mean is take some time for yourself. Do something you enjoy but rarely take the time to do, like soak in a bath or go for a walk. Or simply take some time out to find some quite and meditate on what is good in your life. I fully believe that happiness is a perspective and that you give value to whatever has your energy and focus. So take a step back and truly find the blessings in your life.

I have a friend that has a simple rule of life. He says that "grateful people are happy people and those that aren't, aren't!" Think about it. It could be a blessing that you are single and have time for yourself not having to contend with pleasing someone else. Maybe today that is what you really need. Never know.

Secondly, showing your love and appreciation extends far beyond "couple-dum." What about your friends and family? Maybe your kids are in the terrible twos or the alien teen years and your patience are shot. Did you ever consider that you get what you give? Shock them with a random act of kindness and if they are old enough, make it anonymous. Be their secret admirer.

Third, make someone else's day. Do you have an elderly neighbor? Maybe a widower that looks at this day as a reminder of how alone they are in this world? Take them some flowers. You will be amazed at how your perspective will change when you focus on being a channel of love rather than an empty vat that is not receiving any.

And last but not least, take the opportunity to tell someone that you haven't told exactly what they mean to you. We hurry through life and we ASSUME that people know that we care or appreciate them. Chances are they don't and your kind words could change their day.

Happy Valentine's Day!