Those of you not living under a rock for the past 8 years may have heard of one of the classics of our age: Futurama. Created by Simpsons creator Matt Groening in the late 90s, Futurama is to sci-fi what The Simpsons was/is to sitcoms.

Unfortunately for the forces of Good, Futurama never received notice of renewal after it's fourth season - until now.

That's right, Futurama is back for at least one more go, and it's starting off its comeback by releasing Bender's Big Score, a DVD that is essentially four terrific Futurama episodes in one. So, to help people prepare themselves for watching the film with their loved ones, I've formed a quick and easy (read: down and dirty) guide to enjoying the film appropriately.

C'mon, the movie is called Bender's Big Score! Don't you think you should show our fine, polished friend some respect and offer up some victory smoke rings in his honor?

Plus, Americans smoke hundreds, if not thousands, of these things every single day to celebrate things that happen every single day. Like weddings. And babies. And baby weddings.

You might say, "But, dear fellow, if Bender jumped off a bridge, would you do it?" The answer is, yes, probably, if I had been drinking.

Besides, alcohol has the amazing ability to provide both calories (so that you don't die of hypoglycemic shock) and entertainment (so that you don't want to die of hypoglycemic shock). I've yet to encounter another food that is so versatile.

Perhaps if one could construct a cheeseburger trampoline.....

This one seems like a no-brainer. You don't call up a long-lost friend to catch up on the past decade and then abruptly cut them off after five minutes with "Gee, Ted, that's really great, but I really need to go do something tedious and mundane for a while."

It doesn't work at class reunions, it doesn't work here. In fact, you could get hurt.

There's even a great guide over at WikiHow about how to do call out of a day at work. That is, if you can't figure it out on your own.

Presumably you like your friends. You give them food in times of famine. Drink in times of drought. Couch in times of unemployment. You share everything, from GoldenEye on N64 to tips on how to pee while operating a moving vehicle. So, why would you deny them Futurama during such an hour of need?

That's right, you wouldn't. Unless you're a fascist. Like FOX.

1. Hiring a flotilla of hookers that Bender would approve of.
2. Kidnapping Matt Groening and David X. Cohen.
3. Jars of severed heads. 'Nuff said.