You may be one of those people. Just think of the dreadful mistake you might make if you brought home a puppy instead of a rock. 

Take The Dog Owner's Fitness Test.

This simple test will help identify if you are fit to own a dog, or a cat or parakeet, or a hamster, or fish, or a rock. Simply answer each question and grade yourself. Remember their are only right answers.

1. Would you rather play with a doll or with a king cobra?

2. Do you enjoy natural scents or perfume scents?

3. Do you like green or brown?

4. Will you cheat on this test?

5. If John lived in Montana and Wung Lee lived in China who would want to live in New Jersey?

6. Dogs are to wolves as rocks are to ________ ?

7. What kind of dog did President Lyndon Johnson have?

8. He was known for picking his dog up by the a) tongue, b) ears c) scrotum d) tail.

9. If you were president of the United States would you have a dog?

10. How many dogs are there?

Answers.

Answer one: The correct answer is who cares?

Answer two: The correct answer is perfume. Everyone knows that when your pet dog poops on the floor or urinates on the carpet you need strong perfume loaded room deoderizors to mask the stink.

Answer three: You should have answered you like green and brown. They are natural colors and it is proven that people who like natural colors are much better pet owners.

Answer four: The answer is yes. Dog owners are constantly cheating. For example they are suppose to pick up the poop after the dogs. Yet how many times have you walked through a park and seen what some pooch has left behind.

Answer five: Neither would want to live in New Jersey, anyone except for the village idiot knows no one wants to live in New Jersey. By saying either one of them would want to live in New Jersey shows you have little common sense.

Answer six: Dogs are to wolves as rocks are to rocks. Dogs and wolves, rocks and rocks. They are all the same.

Answer seven: LBJ had beagles. It is said that he liked these little energetic dogs because they had long ears like LBJ.

Answer eight: He was president of the United States. He picked them up anyway he damned well pleased.

Answer nine: Yes, whether you like dogs or not having one in the White House is as necessary as kissing babies on the campaign trail.

Answer ten: There are more than enough dogs.

How did you do?

Count up all your correct answers.  If you got of score between

8-10 You are fit to have a dog. You will be prepared you have an aptitude to acquire useless advice which many dog books are filled with.

6-8  You are too smart to own a dog, but will find a cat just right.

4-6 You will find a parakeet the ideal pet (make sure you get a cage for it) because it's about all you can handle.

3 You should not be near anything that flies and can probably figure out what your hamster does with all the food he stuffs in his cheeks.

2. Watching fish swim will be good therapy. Don't forget to put the water in its bowl.

1. You and your pet rock will have many good times together.

Read other great blogs by Keith S

If you like dogs Keith S has written blogs that provide such profound advice about buying dogs at your favorite puppy mills and more!