Why Most people fail to achieve their "new year resolutions"

People make new years resolutions blindly, they seem to take stock of their lives once a year and then just because everyone else seems to be making resolutions they will do the same. Resolutions are made in order to make some changes in your present way of doing things, your habits, or in your present way of being. People usually make resolutions without giving it too much thought, they do not identify the CORE reason they want to change and that is the primary reason why most fail.

When making a resolution, think why you want to achieve it. What will you gain by making that change? The answer to that will tell you if it is worth the effort. You will only succeed in achieving a resolution if you find out WHY you want it and how badly you want it. The WHY gives you your inner motivation and the how badly you want it- gives you the emotional charge it requires, the burning desire, for the change to be brought about.

Another reason for not being able to stick to your resolutions is that it requires you to move “OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE”. This comfort zone that you are in, is what you are habituated to, and it may not really be comfortable, but rather painful and uncomfortable, but it is the only way of being or doing, that you know. So you rather stick to that than “risk” making that change. Your mind has a habit of resisting change, and so it will do its best to keep you the way you are.

How to identify CORE ISSUSES-

The best way to identify core issues is to ask questions. Lets take for example, a very common resolution that people set for themselves- I will lose weight.

First ask yourself- why you wish to lose weight? Is it because “thin is in” ? Is your weight creating serious health issues for you? Are you obsessed with the way your body is? Are you obsessed with thoughts of how unattractive you look because of your layers of fat? Do you feel bad about yourself because you are fat? Or is it a combination of all these feelings? Basically - Do you feel you would be a better person if you were thin?

Lets deal with that last question Do you feel you will be a better person if you were thin?

In what way would you be a better person?

Would you feel you would be more confident? What has weight got to do with confidence? A lot! The weight is there in the first place because you feel you are not confident, it is there to hide your insecurity. It is there because you feel the need for protection all the time. So your CORE issue is not weight, but rather - insecurity, low self confidence and a feeling of fear. Unless you deal with that- no diet and exercise regime will work for you. You will remain fat or you will promptly gain all the weight you lost physically because you are not able to deal with the change emotionally and mentally. Those feelings of insecurity will come up to the surface and may manifest as food cravings- a craving to go back to the old ways. In dealing with only the superficial issue of weight by addressing what you eat and how you exercise, you are setting yourself up for failure, because you are treating the symptom and not the cause.

So you may want to re-phrase that resolution like an affirmation:

I am now a confident lovable person.

I am now slender and attractive.

I am secure in my surroundings.

Now, imagine yourself to be slim. Imagine that you have shed all those extra pounds or kilos. Imagine that you now have the slender sexy figure that you always dreamed of having. Imagine the compliments flowing you way, now OBSERVE how you feel.

Are you able to accept the compliments gracefully or are you still feeling “not worth it” inside?

You are suddenly flooded with interest from the opposite sex, are you able to cope with that? Maybe your core issue is “not being able to have healthy relationships with the opposite sex“, and so you choose to hide behind the fat so nobody pays attention to you, and so you feel that if you were thin, you would have the man/woman of your dreams, but you don’t and so you are sad, have no self confidence, etc. You see, it is a vicious circle you are wanting to get out of.

Thus I would say the success of sticking by and achieving your resolutions depends upon how well you have identified your “core issues” you wish to change. It’s the same with people who wish to quit smoking, or give up drinking or whatever else. As long as the core issue remains untreated, the habit will continue. Smoking creates a smoke-screen for stuff you do not wish to see or deal with, alcohol could be because you are not focused on what you wish to do in life.

In a nutshell, the physical habit is a manifestation of a deeper thought. Deal with that and you will have successfully achieved your resolution. Deal with it- as I read somewhere “one thought at a time, change happens one thought at a time”.

Another couple of tips- always write your resolutions in the present tense or in the past tense so you get accustomed to feeling that you have already achieved it. Else it remains as a goal to be achieved at some vague time in the future.

State what you want to do, rather than what you don't want to do. Example- Instead of "I will not drink", you can say- "I am a teetotaler" or "I am happy to be a teetotaler". Saves you trouble of think of what you don't want to do, and keeps you focused on what you want to do.

Change your attitude to resolutions, make your resolutions -fun projects or targets instead of serious issues or work to be done. Enjoy yourself getting to where you want to be!