So, you want to be a Jedi? I have to warn you that becoming a Jedi isn't easy. It's going to require patience, stamina and grim determination to acquire the necessary skills. With this article I'll show you how and what you should learn if you want to become as close to possible to being a real life Jedi.

Background

According to a the national census' of a few English-speaking countries, quite a number of you already see yourselves as Jedi, with England leading the way with nearly 400,000 people writing their religion as ‘Jedi' in 2001. That makes it the fourth largest religion in the UK, ahead of Buddhism!

Then came the news earlier this month that Queen's College in Belfast is offering a course entitled "How to Train in the Jedi Way".

Unfortunately, it's only a one day course - not nearly in-depth enough for my liking. So I sat down and meditated on what it truly took to become one with the force. As I see it, four areas of expertise need to be mastered before you can call yourself a Jedi; physical, mental, spiritual and force skills.

Let's break these down a little further. Be aware that these aren't sharply defined areas of study, some areas of study will definitely overlap but this will only serve to reinforce learning, albeit from a different angle. For example, by strictly training your physical prowess you'll develop the mental faculties of self-discipline, confidence and willpower.

Physical Skills

Every Jedi needs to be in peak physical condition - that's non-negotiable. Coupled with physical stamina is the need to be agile, fast and able to kick serious butt, both barehanded and with a lightsaber.

• Kung Fu. The granddaddy of martial arts, learning traditional Shaolin kung fu will give you the speed and stamina to annihilate an opponent and look good at the same time. Butterfly kicks, back flips and two finger handstands will become pathetically easy for you, and you'll be introduced to hard Qi Gong (see ‘Force Powers' later).

• Sword / Lightsaber Training. It'll be a part of your kung fu training anyway, but I think it deserves a special separate mention. Try as many different sword styles as possible, and choose one that fits you physically and stylistically. You could use the swift and refined Chinese straight sword, the deadly Japanese katana, kendo style, or a massive European broadsword. It depends on you. Oh, and you may have to wait just a little bit longer for someone to invent a real lightsaber. You could always practice deflecting blaster bolts by having a friend throw golf balls at you...

• Parkour / Free-running. Negotiating tall / wide / deep obstacles at high speed is essential to chase bad guys across rooftops, run away from droid armies and avoid heavy objects flung at you by Sith-Lords with the force. So get practicing!

Developed by David Belle and others in France out of sheer boredom, Parkour has become a crucial set of skills, plus it looks exceptionally cool. In case you're wondering what the difference is between Parkour and free-running - Parkour is all about being as fast and efficient as possible, whereas free-running is all about looking good whilst doing it. Basically the difference in styles between Obi-Wan and Anakin.

Mental Skills

As well as honing your body, you're going to need to hone your mind. You need to be focused, supremely aware, and ready for anything. You also need to be able to persuade people to do your bidding without resorting to violence.

• Meditation. There are dozens of types of meditation with different purposes. For ours though, Zen meditation is probably best. It's been found and scientifically confirmed to ‘rewire the circuitry of the brain' (Zen and the Brain). Meditation in general produces changes in metabolism, heart rate, respiration, blood pressure and brain chemistry. All in all, it makes you alert and aware, or rather, as Bruce Lee describes:

"Not being tense but ready. Not thinking but not dreaming. Not being set but flexible. Liberation from the uneasy sense of confinement. It is being wholly and quietly alive, aware and alert, ready for whatever may come."

• Psychology / NLP. As if that weren't tricky enough, you need to be able to get inside people's heads to persuade them to help you and make them think it was all their idea! To start you off, on a simplistic level, NLP (or Neuro Linguistic Programming to be exact) has a technique called ‘mirroring'. You subtly mirror your subject's body language / posture and breathing pattern (don't make it too obvious!) whilst having a conversation. After a couple of minutes, move one of your arms or legs to a different position, and if they make the same move a few seconds later, then bingo! You've sneakily built a very high level of rapport, and they're now a lot more suggestible to your ideas.

Spiritual Skills

Remember that as well as gaining a theoretical understanding of the Jedi order, Jediism is a very practical religion - i.e, one that emphasises living the philosophy, rather than seeing it as an intellectual conceit. In fact, like flying an X-wing, some concepts you'll only be able to grasp by doing, not just reading about it. So supplement all your theory with meditation and practicing your force powers (see later) to gain a greater understanding of the force and live your beliefs.

• Buddhism / Taoism. To get an in depth knowledge of the Jedi religion, I'd suggest looking here first, as Buddhism seems to have rather a lot in common with both of these religions. Similiar to an English essay, a good exercise is to compare and contrast your knowledge of these ways of life to test yourself.

• Watch the movies again. And again. Easy one this, watch and re-watch the films, glean as much knowledge as you can and ponder the wise words and deeper meanings. Model yourself on your heroes.

Force Powers

Aha! Here's where it gets interesting... the skill the Jedi are most famed for is their ability to manipulate the Force in a variety of different ways. Of all the skills you learn as a Jedi, these are by far the hardest. You'll need bucketloads of patience and a very good teacher.

• Qi Gong / Chi Kung. However you spell it (but please pronounce it ‘chee-gong'), it means the same thing. It literally means ‘Energy Work' in Chinese and as ‘qi' = ‘force' on our world, it's the skill to study. Qi / chi / ki in Eastern culture is seen as being the omnipresent and powerful force that animates every living thing (even spiders and nasty bacteria).

• There are thousands of different exercises for qi gong, from curing or preventing most illnesses and diseases to allowing a concrete slab to be broken over your head with a sledgehammer.

• Broadly speaking qi gong is divided into two training types - hard and soft. Soft would include all the subtle skills such as curing and preventing illnesses, keeping the body lithe and youthful and some powerful psychic abilities. In his book ‘Art of Chi Kung‘, Wong Kiew Kit (a celebrated Shaolin Grandmaster) claims that qi practitioners have achieved managed to channel qi through a wall, been able to see people's internal organs, dispersed clouds in the sky and change the molecular structure of water, amongst other things, all through the power of qi.

• Hard qi gong is a little more obvious - it includes skills such as ‘iron palm' and iron shirt, essentially the ability to move chi around the body to protect a specific area, either in a defensive or offensive capacity.

Tai Chi Chuan. Qi gong and tai chi chuan go hand in hand. Tai chi is a pretty deadly martial art in its own right, practised properly, but it can also be described as ‘moving qi gong', as while you are practicing the martial forms solo, you are also training your qi and guiding it around your body.

So when a trained Tai Chi master hits a person with their open palm, they're able to channel a shock wave of qi from their palm into their opponent, violently vibrating the opponent's internal organs and causing severe damage, or death.

Full of graceful circular movements, very brutal, and at its higher levels utilising pressure point strikes, a true tai chi master is absolutely lethal, yet appears as serene and harmless as Yoda.

The Dark Side

Obviously some people will be seduced by the dark side of the force. Should you be one of the people that is tempted, then there are a couple more skills that you may want to have hidden under your shadowy cloak, apart from being a bit nasty to people:

• Ninjutsu. Legendary dark warriors, I'm sure that ninjas need no introduction. Silent, stealthy and deadly, if you want to convert to the dark side, their skills would certainly come in useful. Plus you get to play with some really cool weapons.

• Dim Mak. This is the art of pressure point striking, the fabled ‘death touch' in martial arts. If mastered, certain strikes on qi meridians can cause a crippling injury, instant or even delayed death to your opponent. Certainly not a compassionate art, and a fitting tool for a Sith Lord to have.

Summary

Train well, and train hard. If you do acquire all these skills then congratulations - you've become as close to being a Jedi as it's possible to be. Remember to give something back by taking a worthy apprentice and passing on your skills.

Then go and kick George Lucas' butt for introducing Ja Ja Binks...

That's about all my young apprentices. Thanks for reading and good luck with your training.