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How to be a good Wife to your Husband

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By Anamika S


Qualities in a good Wife

Every married man wishes to have a good wife. Many people advice the new bride to be a good wife to her husband. But what are the makings of a good or perfect wife? Many women do not know. Many of the qualities of a good wife are already inbuilt in a person and the rest can be developed.

In India the qualities of a good wife or eight noble virtues an ideal wife should have are summed up in the verse from Neethisaram.

"Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha,

Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Satkarma Nari, Kuladharma Pathni".

Here are some of the Qualities a man looks in his wife.

1) Be pleasant: It is said that ‘we need to treat others the way we want ourselves to be treated.’ Never be rude to our husband, family and friends. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who make everyone around you feel bad just because you’ve had a hard day. Welcome your husband with a smile when he comes home instead of a sour face. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day especially if it was a difficult one. If you don't like how you partner treats you, take a minute to notice how you treat your partner and correct your behavior.

2) Treat your Husband with Respect: If you expect respect from others we need to treat others with respect too. Haven’t we all heard ‘Give respect and take respect’. Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. A good wife respects her hubby and she never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate or otherwise harm him in private nor in public. It is better to watch what you say and to think your thoughts through before speaking as it is not possible to take back the words once they have been spoken. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.

3) Communicate: Communication is key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things from your husband or keep secrets after marriage. Be honest to him. Find time to sit and talk with your husband on a daily basis even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your husband anything then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when your husband is talking. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first. Don't greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good Communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. After marriage the wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not take any major decisions about the family without consulting with husband. Fights or problems may happen in between the two but do not let the world know about it rather solve it between yourselves. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So move on with it and stop rehashing old stuff and reminding him of his faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else when you lose your temper. If you do he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together.

4) Be Supportive: A husband expects wife’s support and understanding especially in times of troubles. A good wife loves her hubby through his successes and failures and provides reassurance when he's feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support your husband in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often heard saying that ‘a wife can make a man or break a man’. There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him especially in front of others. Be proud of him on his accomplishments and genuinely complement him. If you do this you can expect your husband to behave with you in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. When you don’t agree with him respectfully let him know you don’t agree.

5) Do not nag: No man would like a nagging wife. If you want to get your own way ask him nicely. Many wives think that is the only way to get her husband to do things is by nagging. But the truth is that your nagging can create unwanted rift or can make things worse between the two of you. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn't mean he has to do it.

6) Give him his space: As a wife you need to understand you’re your husband has a life other than you also. He has his family, friends and colleagues who too are part of his life. He also may have some hobbies or passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be too irritating.

7) Keep him happy in Bed: Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. Please your man in bed. If you cannot keep your man happy in Bed he would go where he can get it. After all, a Man is a man!

8) Plan Surprises: Men like surprises too. It can be anything like organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or his favorite dishes once in a while even if you would rather eat something else.

9) Express your love and appreciation often: Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the best of your time together. Men like to hear the words ‘I love you’ too. Also join him in activities that he's interested in even though you would have preferred to do something else or give him a thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life. Pamper him very often. Be his ‘little slave’ when he is at home. You can even cook for him or give him a good massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you. Don't withhold affection.

10) Honesty, Loyalty and Dedication: A good wife would be honest, loyal and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a life long commitment and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept in all conditions.

11) Prepare yourself: A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care about your appearance and everyday. Include exercises or yoga in your daily routine. Be hygienic. Some woman feel that once they are married why they should dress up or take care of their appearance. A man likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable your man may cheat you behind your back.

12) Prepare the House: Maintain a clean house all the time. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house. Apart from this be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining.

I am sure any man would be happy to get a wife with all these qualities. Have I left anything? Please feel free to add through comments.

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Comments

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Lady_E profile image

Lady_E  says:
4 months ago

This is lovely Anamika and I admire the deep humility Indian women have for their hubby's. I know this is one of your 30 in 30 days hubs. Could you let me know where you registered for it or do you just start on your own and count 30 days? Thanks

dohn121 profile image

dohn121  says:
4 months ago

You always have such good, wholesome, sound advice! Would you please email me when you find a girl like this? I want to meet her and give it a go! Thank you for sharing;)

Emmayaf profile image

Emmayaf  says:
4 months ago

very nice hub,seriously.

Mahesh  says:
4 months ago

Great Annamika jee, You write like a life guru.Thanks for posting this.

jayb23 profile image

jayb23  says:
4 months ago

Beautiful Hub Anamika. Bookmarked. The day i decide to get married, the first thing i shall do is make my wife read this article. Cheers

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
4 months ago

Lady_E : I have written this hub keeping in mind an indian wife. You are quite riht about that the indian woman have high family values and marriages in india are meant for a life time.Thanks for the nice comment.

dohn121 : Try dating indian woman. You may find many of this qualities.Thanks for the visit.

Emmayaf : Happy that you liked it.

Mahesh : One gets wiser with age and experience. I have always been a relationship expert with friends.Thanks for the nice comment.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
4 months ago

Thanks Jay for your appreciation.

Peter Dickinson profile image

Peter Dickinson  says:
4 months ago

Thanks Anamika...I enjoyed that, If ever my life gets less complicated I might just head back to India to marry.

4notherBlogg3r profile image

4notherBlogg3r  says:
4 months ago

Great article being a wife. All wife around the world must read this sister :)

Thanks for the post.

barryrutherford profile image

barryrutherford  says:
4 months ago

Excellent advice !

Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal  says:
4 months ago

Great hub Anamika - a wonderful recipe for a happy marriage :)

Izombiheartzoey profile image

Izombiheartzoey  says:
4 months ago

I wouldn't want a wife like that.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
4 months ago

Thanks Peter Dickinson, 4notherBlogg3r, barryrutherford, Shalini Kagal and Izombiheartzoey for the Comments.

fastfreta profile image

fastfreta  says:
4 months ago

Very, very, good hub. This is one of those hubs that new wives, yes, and even older wives,(smile), need to bookmark.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
4 months ago

Thanks for the nice comment fastfreta.

Robubba  says:
4 months ago

OMG! I LOVE you!

This is one of the best reads about women since Laura Slech(whatever)'s "Proper Care and Feeding for Husbands". TYTYTYTYTY! And about the nagging, I'm told that all a woman should have to do is ask once, and keep an eye out to thank her husband the instant it gets done. Men will usually do it faster the next time. =P

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
4 months ago

Thanks for the Compliment and Opinion Robubba. I am happy you liked it.

Gin Delloway profile image

Gin Delloway  says:
4 months ago

Nice hub. Nice advice.

yes2truth profile image

yes2truth  says:
4 months ago

Boy, could you teach western women a few things. In many places it was as if I was reading your Hub straight out of the Holy Scriptures. You are a very wise young woman indeed.

A wise head on young shoulders - very rare indeed.

Charles Crosby AKA yes2truth

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
4 months ago

Thanks for the Compliments and visit yes2truth. One sad fact is that with Indians aping the western culture now a days women with these qualities are becoming rare.

rajesh8884 profile image

rajesh8884  says:
4 months ago

thanks for sharing this nice story with good thinking......

zinebtam  says:
4 months ago

Awesome hub . kudos

Madame X profile image

Madame X  says:
4 months ago

Wonderful hub - a woman who really loves her husband will try to do these things anyway, to please him, just because. So many women are focused on themselves and not their man - all in the name of feminism. But you know, it takes a lot more strength to be like you describe. Besides, men are so tender inside, for all their tough exteriors, that it is important for a woman to treat her man gently and with respect.

Illuminatii profile image

Illuminatii  says:
4 months ago

Yeah nice...all females should be demure sunshine and light. Now back to the real world...why not write something about how a man should treat his "good" wife? Alot of women do all of the above and are treated like doormats and abused anyway. A friend of mine took her own life after marrying a man that did nothing but break her down over everything. All she ever did was try to please him but it was never enough. A woman should be a good wife, but a man should be a good husband and steward of his wife as well, let us not forget that.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
4 months ago

Thanks rajesh8884,zinebtam,Madame X and IIIuminati for expressing your Opinion.

beautyrose  says:
4 months ago

yeah those qualities would really make your husband love you more.

deeli82  says:
4 months ago

if he is good to me then i will be good to him. i really dont agree with a "man is a man". that doesnt sit well with me. i loved your hub though.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
4 months ago

Thanks for your Opinion beautyrose and deeli82.

Shivani  says:
4 months ago

My husband and I are arguing a lot and not really getting on so I looked for inspiration on the internet and came across your hub and it's made me feel better and see things less selfishly.

Parvathi  says:
3 months ago

hi, just chanced upon ur article. such a gud one. though i knew most of the things...life became monotonous after having kids. this articel really brt again some gud insights into my thnking. making me again a gud wife. thank u. keep writing.

RYPcontent profile image

RYPcontent  says:
3 months ago

One item you forgot. ;-) Just ask him what you can do to please him. Husbands can do the same - your spouse probably knows better than anyone what will make them happy.

grace  says:
3 months ago

i really apriciate the tips. u know i learn a lot thank u and il do that . specially making happy in bed . tnx godbless

VS  says:
3 months ago

Nice Posting!!Could you please let us know how to make our husband listen to our words.How to manage a short temper husband and make him listen to us

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
3 months ago

Thanks Shivani, Parvati and grace for the visit, I am happy that you found this article helpful.

RYPcontent : Yes, it's all about communicating. Thanks for the visit.

VS : Thanks for the visit. I would try making a hub on dealing with a short tempered husband.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans  says:
3 months ago

Anamika S.

You have shared some vital information here. A lasting marriage takes mutual love, respect, honor and commitment.

Good communication is also essential.

Blessings

T.L.C.P.  says:
3 months ago

Dear Anamika,

I know you believe these rules are related to women in India, but I am from the U.S.A.

The Good Wife's Guide is a book that needs to be burned.

A couple should be equal in many ways. A relationship

should consist of honesty, respect,loyalty, harmony,

integrity, character and values.

This book was written in the United States in 1955; it is

now 2009.

I am 47 years old, I am in my fourth relationship since the

age 18. We have been together for five years. He is everything I have described in the above paragraph.

He makes me feel good about myself in so many ways.

We both do for each other in so many different ways.

It feels good to have a man stand beside me; not in front

of me.

hanad  says:
2 months ago

i like the way

nycboy  says:
2 months ago

I agree with T.L.C.P To say that women should please men in bed because he will go find it somewhere else is very very demeaning. Men usually want more sex than women but they should do it out of love not fear. Love is understanding our need for sex! You are saying that there is only one kind of men and that none of us have self-control. If one wants to be a true man and is not happy in bed talk openly. In any case just end the relationship before cheating on your wife because on the long run thats worse for everybody, even the kids. Or create a "controlled crisis". I mean to give a final warning with actions. Like leave the house saying "I respect you and do not wish to cheat on you so let's separate because you are not meeting my needs." Likely she will come to her senses and wake up and communicate and commit and you can go back. If we men dont cheat we can keep our heads high at the end. I hope I wrote this clearly.

nycboy  says:
2 months ago

and men make sure we are also meeting our wives needs. How would it sound to say that she went to talk to a male friend instead of myself because i never listened and after all she'll do it because a woman is a woman! Dont like it huh? So lets be fair. We are equal.

Mish Dang profile image

Mish Dang  says:
5 weeks ago

I am a good wife because I have a great husband! But all these good wife rules make me sound like a her sounds like a slave. Bottom line is RESPECT. If a good husband appreciates and follows the same good wife rules than I am up for it!

sutrapu profile image

sutrapu  says:
5 weeks ago

really its very good article

Hope Wilbanks profile image

Hope Wilbanks  says:
3 weeks ago

Excellent article!

IndianWife  says:
3 weeks ago

I am an Indian woman who loves her husband a lot and we enjoy a great relationship. This article makes me uncomfortable because it sounds like it puts the onus of maintaining it only on the woman. Pampering sounds good, not when you have two wailing children and a sink full of unwashed dishes and uncooked dinner. It is a feel-good article for those who are unmarried, but real-world runs on give and take and MUTUAL efforts of sustaining the marriage.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
3 weeks ago

Thanks for expressing your Opinion. I also have written on How to be a Good Husband to your Wife.

http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-be-a-good-Husband-t

sahand212 profile image

sahand212  says:
2 weeks ago

realy nice hub

missmarsh profile image

missmarsh  says:
2 weeks ago

Excellent hub on being a good wife. A must read for all wives who have good husbands to appreciate. Thanks.

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan  says:
2 weeks ago

Anamika S. I am at issue with number 7 and number 11 about a man being a man if he decides to cheat.

Men cheat for other reasons than being denied sex from their wives and must be dealt with on an individual basis, optimally with counseling.

Your commenters were right on when one said that the man has an obligation to the woman to listen to her as well.

When people write indept comments, they would like more than a thank you or acknowledgement. They want to know what you think about their comment.

My take on this hubpage is that the wife is being thought of here as the thermostat measuring how the husband is feeling instead of both interacting equally in the relationship.

Stay at Moms have issues to deal with too and the husband should inquire about her day as well. A relationship is not a one way pleasing adventure on the part of the woman. It is not her job to keep a man a man.

There is no way for her to control her husband's tendencies to cheat because the reason for cheating is deep and sometimes the wife has nothing at all to do with his reasoning.

She would have made a poor choice for a mate as the commenter who said that a woman lost her life because she could not please her man. Women needs to read the comment by the gentlemen who explained what a good wife is from a man's perspective. Men should make sure that they are meeting their wife needs as well and most women basically wants to be listened to.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
2 weeks ago

Thanks for all the comments.

Linda : It is true that a Man may cheat for reasons other than sex too most of which I have discussed in another hub 'Why do men cheat in relationships' (http://hubpages.com/hub/Relationships-Cheating-Men Relationships are a two way street it takes the effort of both the partners to make the relationships work.

Truth From Truth profile image

Truth From Truth  says:
8 days ago

great post, thanks

faith_trixzy profile image

faith_trixzy  says:
7 days ago

for all the things that the wife should do, the husband must do it also vice versa....

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S  says:
3 days ago

Truth from Truth : Thanks for the visit.

faith_trixzy : Yes, it is a give and take policy.

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