Here are a few disclaimers which are important.

No, reading this article will not sober you up enough to drive. If you are under the influence. Just don’t drive. If you still have alcohol in your blood stream, get someone else to drive you home -- a friend, catch a taxi, whatever. Be a winner!

Legal Disclaimer: The information provided here is strictly for educational purposes only, not medical advice, legal, professional or otherwise. I do not, take any responsibility for your actions, related or unrelated to your reading of this information.

While other people’s brains and wits go somewhere south when they get drunk, wouldn’t it be invaluable if you could keep most of your senses and ability to think intact? You’d be capable of being sharp, witty, and even a bit tricky when others were just stupid and foolish, wouldn't you rather be that person?

Well, a drinking buddy of mine shared with me his special secret for remaining mentally capable while still drinking, relaxing, and being able to get along with other drunk people.

You know, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Around people who are drinking, if you really want to 'get along' with them during their moments of slushy reverie, you generally need to be buzzed, as well. Otherwise, you're in a state of such immense clarity -- relatively speaking, that it's just tough to get along. And you are viewed as an 'outsider', or perhaps even a stuffy "party pooper" of sorts. You won't, after all, be laughing even when the jokes aren't funny.

Here, then, is a secret to being one of the 'gang', while still keeping at your head on your shoulders:

While drinking alcohol, also drink DIET caffeinated soft drinks (Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper) and/or coffee that's either unsweetened or sweetened with a sugar alternative (such as Equal or Sweet N’ Low).

When you consume caffeine while you drink alcohol, your brain will mostly stay awake and be somewhat sharp. Your body, however, will be and act drunk. This is important. Your bodily movements being all sloshy and drunken will allow other drinkers to trust you and get along well with you, since you’re ‘drunk’ just like them, but you’ll still be able to be somewhat witty and charming. You'll even be able to scheme about some sort of smart seduction plan, if you'd like. All the while, the brains and common sense of others has mostly gone out the door. You'll have an upper hand. Never mind your companion(s) laughing at just any old joke -- you'll actually be able to come up with stuff that is funny yourself and this time be in line to being the life of the “party”

Keep in mind that this upper hand is meant amuse instead of abuse people, however -- to have the upper hand in charming them and in directing situations in a positive way. This won't make you into a rapist, for instance. In fact, for you frat boy types out there, this can help you avoid nasty date rape charges. It seems like the guys who are often nailed with such charges didn’t have their senses about them at the time of their alleged crimes… as if alcohol reduced them to near simple celled creatures with no real sense or thinking ability. Really hammered people aren't the brightest or always the nicest folks on the planet, after all.

In fact, most crimes are committed under the influence of alcohol. Go figure. Fuzzy heads aren't aware or even sane heads. However, with your mind still somewhat sharp from using this little drinking trick, you’ll be better able to tell if the girl is saying no with her either her verbal or body language body language… or if it’s just the wrong time to make any kind of 'advance'… (say, like if she’s passed out).

And hopefully you'll be aware enough to be a gentleman instead of a drunken, evil oaf. Whereas, if your mind was fuzzy enough, your morals may have gone way off with your thinking ability.

Seriously -- you need to at least resemble a human to act in an ethical and moral way. So this little secret, matched with in your drinking, can obviously be good for both parties and in the mating game.

Now then... why sugar-free caffeinated beverages?

Sugar would cause your brain to release a chemical called serotonin. This is a brain chemical which, while it’ll relax you, will also impair your ability to think clearly when it's released in excessive amounts (which is exactly what sugar causes your brain to do). When added to the depressant effects of alcohol, it may even put you to sleep. Good luck socializing when you're snoring!

Now, the caffeine, of course, is to help wake your brain up. But while it wakes your brain up a bit, it won't wake your body up. Caffeine is like a key that inserts into certain little locks (called receptors) on the brain. It tells the brain to wake up, basically. Whereas the rest of your body doesn't have locks that fit the caffeine keys -- at least not in 'wake up' or 'speed up' modes, per se. Thus, your physical body still is and acts drunk. That is to say, you still move slow and sloppy, in a time retarded fashion. Even if your mind is sharp and clear you will fail the field sobriety test the not so friendly State Trooper wants you to do if you are stopped while driving impaired. Just like your drinkin' buddies will be!

For you to experience most of the relaxation and socializing effects of alcohol, you’ll have to feel less 'fuzzy', and more in control when you need or want to be.

Important Tip: While drinking alcohol, aside from drinking the caffeine as stated above, ALSO drink glasses of WATER – just water – for almost every glass of alcohol and caffeinated beverage you drink. This will help keep your body well irrigated and working properly as you get drunk… which will also help to keep you well witted – you can’t exactly be all too bright if your body isn’t working all that well. You'll also find yourself much more 'fresh' the next day, with much less possibility of the dreaded ‘hangover’. Perhaps 50% of the effects of a hangover are caused by dehydration.