How to build an inexpensive log cabin

Oh, somewhere about one hundred fifty, maybe one hundred years ago, people would pack up everything they owned, buy a couple of hammers, axes, and a barrel of tenpenny nails and head out to the woods to build a place to live. We called the pioneers.

Of course, since I like innovative business, I consider myself a pioneer, and what a lot of people tell me about pioneers is how they end up shot full of arrows.

So those brave men and women who trundled off into the wilderness to build a log cabin should have found an easier way.

It's easier now. There are dozens of companies out there who will provide you with simple construction kits. A family with marginal handy skills could put together a shell in a weekend, and finish out the interior over time.

A log cabin should be constucted like any basic home. Start with a one room kit, but make it a giant room, at least 20 x 30, with a twelve to 15 foot roof.

Prepare the ground, and level off foundation piers. The first four homes I lived in were simple pier and beam foundations, so I'm a big fan. A peir is a concrete block (mine were shaped like flat topped pyramids) that supports the beams.

You're going to want to get a basic home building book to go over the requirements for how far apart the beams should be. This book will also serve as a guide throughout construction. And once your shell is complete, you can use the pages as tender for starting a fire in the fireplace-

Wait, you're going to want to gather river stone so you can build a stone fireplace and hearth. So put the kids to work hunting and piling the rocks you will need for this next family project. With that one simple decision, you've A: gotten the kids out of your hair for a little while, B: set up a new family project, C; perched on the verge of a stress related heart attack because you're not a mason, D: almost lost a thumb to the saw while daydreaming about romantic nights spent cuddled in front of the fireplace with your signifigant other. (Dn't worry, she won't want to cuddle with you because you're making her live in a one room drafty log shack instead of putting her up in a 4 star hotel.

All right, so you've placed the beams, and squared them up, everything is nailed tight. Now, lay your floor planks. They should come in your kit, and make sure the smooth side is up, because nothing is worse than having to plane an area due to midnight splinters. And if you plane one area, you have to plan the rest otherwise it will just look wrong, and fail a marble test. And if your wife hear's you planing in the middle of the night, after howling out a splinter inspired curse word, well, then you would have some 'splaining to do.

Once you have the floor, take off your boots, because you don't want to track in mud. But now you're weekend shell project is going to take three weeks, because every time you go in and out the door, you have to put your boots on and take them off. See why contractors ALWAYS go over on a job? It's the little things that consume SO much time.

Next, put your first wall togehter while it's flat on the ground. Careful! You could lose a bare big toe now too, not just a thumb. The walls should go up fairly easy, one, two, three, and four, unless you are building one of those pentagon log cabins. If that's the case, just put up the fifth wall after the fourth.

The walls will have studs 16 inch on center, so you can remember where to nail in the planks. I use a crayon or red pencil to mark on the floor. BE EXTRA CAREFUL here. Your kids will be done gathering future fireplace river rocks by now, and if they see you marking on the floor, it will be open season on interior design. Do not let them color on the floors, not yet. You don't have a roof up, and if it rains, all of those works of art by your little creative geni (the plural of genius) will be lost to the deluge.

So once you have the walls up, haul up the rafters, and secure them in place. Two strong men could lift them up one at a time, but since your wife took the kids and left because you were yelling and cursing way too much about all the coloring on the clean wood floor you just planed to a smooth finish, you're going to have to go it alone.

Relax, pioneers did this for years. Just toss a rope over tree branch and use the old, lift the rafter by the rope trick. You get it up high enough, tie it off, then manipulate it in place and secure. Be sure you tie it to a strong enough sapling, or that your knot doesn't slip. If your rafter crashes down on those walls you built, I don't know if they would be strong enough to withstand the blow.

Speaking of blow, once you nail the rafters, you should be close to good to go. No I mean it, this four hour project is dragging onto sixteen, and since you skipped lunch, and your wife took the cooler full of beer when she dragged the kid's to the Days Inn, you're going to have to hunt for your supper. I recommend fish, since it's full of protein, and you're going to need all of your energy to finish up the shell tomorrow.

I could go into great detail about fishing here, but suffice it to say, since you can't build a cabin in a couple of hours, you're probably not that much of an outdoorsman, and the fish, well, they were fantastic in your fantasies. You subsist on whatever dribbles are left in the cans the kids forgot to clean up around the work site.

But you get to sleep under the stars! Up off the ground, on the smooth floor you built with your bare hands, the smell of crayons strong in your nose. This is the life.

Until you remember bears. And coyotes. And bats. Lots of bats. Swooping in to feast on the mosquitos that have discovered you spread out on this raised platform like a buffet. Oh, what a night.

You're up before the sun, and now it's time to do the roof. Just lay some plywood down, then roll tar paper across it, and lay out shingles. You could have done this last night, and at least slept under shelter, when you could steal a few winks. But no, there was this great idea about a fireplace- and smooth floors, and then it hits you.

You're sleep deprived mind has hit upon the solution! You want a log cabin exterior with all of the amenities of home. All you have to do is get a camping trailer-

and glue the logs to the outside! It's brilliant.

So there it is, a simple, easy way to build an inexpensive log cabin. Buy a camping trailer and reside it. It should take about four hours, and you can reside in it. Your family will love the quick, easy amenities and thank you for deciding on it.

Happy trails!