Have you come to the point of your life where you notice that strange things are happening to you. You are probably somewhere between 46 and 50 and you no longer feel the same as you used to. You are starting to find it harder to keep your weight in check, you feel moodier than usual, your vaginal fluids seems to be drying up, your skin is starting to show much more signs of aging and the worst of all is that you get bouts of feeling very hot at the least expected of times. Well all this is probably the beginning of your menopause. The dreaded word for many women.

Well it is all up to you if you allow it to be that way or not. Let's face it, if we were born as a woman we all knew that this time would come sooner or later and there is really no use fighting against it as it is just another part of our life.

One very male chauvanistic doctor once said that God made women to only last as long as their reproductive years lasted and that once those years were over then they all went down hill!!! Isn't that an awful thing to say about us? Well what we have to do is to acknowledge that maybe this might be a possibility but that we are very strong and are going to fight back and not let this happen to us.

Nowadays women at our age look much younger than our mothers did at the same age because we are all doing (I hope) very useful things like eating well, doing sports, looking after our skin, not smoking and keeping the alcohol levels down to a minimum level. So with all this we already have an edge on the older generation.

Secondly you have the choice of using HRT (hormone replacement therapy) which if you spoke with your doctor he could recommend to you or maybe not. I think this issue is a very personal one as there are some very good benefits about HRT like replacing your lost hormones so that you don't age as much and at the same time safeguarding you from the effects of osteoporosis but on the other hand they say there is more risk of getting a cancer so that is why I think it is up to the individual to decide how to weigh up the risks.

I myself began my menopause at the age of 47 (immediately after my father died because I think that the shock I went through brought it all on) but unfortunately much as I would have liked to taken HRT I wasn't able to as despite trying three different brands they all caused me to have very serious haomorrages which left me very anaemic and on the point of needing a blood transfusion. So I realised that I would have to deal with all this on my own naturally and without any artificial help.

Although having said the above, one can take soya tablets which help quite a bit with most menopausal problems and don't have any side effects. It is known that women in China rarely suffer from menopause related symptoms because their diet has always contained lots of soya and so the earlier you start taking it the better.

The first thing that happened was that my periods went hay wire. I never knew when one was going to come and how long it would last for and usually by that time the periods that I was getting were really very very heavy. It's like your body is trying to get rid of anything that remains in your uterus, a real big clear out so that when you have finished menstruating once and for all the uterus stays completely free of any residue.

One has to cope with this as best you can. I found that I couldn't even go out to social events which lasted more than a few hours because I was bleeding so heavily that I couldn't be too long away from my bathroom where I had all my tampoons and even sanitary towels because when you get to this stage a tampoon is not enough to stop the strong flow. There was a point where I had to change my tampoon every hour and another day when I just sat in the bath for more than three hours as huge clots of blood kept gushing out.

I'm sorry if this seems horrible and very crude but it might not happen to you. This is probably the worst scenario and most of you women will get something similar but not nearly as bad, I hope. And I add that what happened to me lasted for about nine months which when I look back on it doesn't seem that long, although at the time I had no idea of when it would end.

Then when the last period came, which I have to say again I didn't know that it was going to be the last one, was the biggest period ever and with the worst pains that I had ever had during the whole of my menstruating life - the final clear out obviously!

Having got to this point I thought that I was over the worst but unfortunately the hot flushes continued. They give you a feeling of such heat that comes upon you without any warning at all, and although they only last about two or three minutes, you are left drenched afterwards. I remember that one time I literally stuck my head into the ice making compartment of the fridge in an attempt to get away from this terrible heat. Well for this I recommend carrying in your handbag the classical spanish fan (which looks very elegant) or if not those small battery operated portable fans. Always say to yourself 'this is only going to last a few minutes and then it will be over' so don't get yourself into a panic because that will only make you feel hotter!!!

At night, which is when, if you are prone to hot flushes, the worst ones will come, tie your hair up. Put a towel between your pillow and your head and have a fresh one on the floor beside the bedside. Put a sheet of plastic over the sheets and lie on top of a large bath towel, having another fresh one beside the bedside. I learnt to do this in order to keep from changing sheets and pillow cases at four o'clock in the morning after having woken up with everything absolutely drenched.

If you are lucky enough to have air conditioning then I also suggest you to put it on and especially during the summer months. It will help a little.

All this will not last that long. There will be an end to it.

When it eventually ends, which with me happened at the age of 53 - your weight will start to level out again, the hot flushes will begin to disappear and you will begin to feel normal again albeit you are no longer quite the same but you have arrived at another change in your life which was to be expected always.

Don't ever be sad about any of this ever. You are still alive at this age when I am sure you had some friends that along the way haven't made it and are no longer here. Better to be alive with a few problems than not be alive at all.

Look after yourself. Take vitamins. Put on all the creams that you can. Keep going to the gym which will help enormously with any osteoporosis problems, keep your mind occupied, know that you have a lot of wisdom to impart to younger people than yourself and try to look at this point in your life as a new and interesting phase.

Remember that you are not old unless you think of yourself in that way. Have you ever heard people saying that they met a 20 year old who looked and acted as if they were already 60 years old and also knew an 80 year old person who had the vitality of a 20 year old. It's all in the mind and how much you want to enjoy the days that are left to you. Enjoy them and don't worry too much about anything - it will all get better and then you can help the younger people that come after you.

I'm really glad that I am over my menopause and I intend to enjoy the last years of my life without having to worry about periods !!!!!!

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