Providing great customer service is one of the most frustrating parts about a job because when difficult customers come to attack you, you are taught to and take it and take it with a smile on your face. Human nature tells you to fight back. But your employer tells you you can’t. You may not be able to fight back, but you can, at the very least, defend yourself. You don’t have to verbally defend yourself, but your body language, attitude, and tone of voice can do it for you.

Many times you are aware of the “angry customer” before they even reach you. Usually the fact that they are stomping toward you with their nostrils flaring and their teeth grinding is your first clue that trouble is coming your way. At this point, all you want to do is spin around and duck behind your desk or counter until the coast is clear, but, of course, this isn’t an option because they’ve already spotted you as their target. So, now what do you do?

Prepare yourself for battle
You don’t want the customer to see that you are intimidated by them or that you are dreading having to deal with them. Customers can smell fear, and when they do, they pounce on the opportunity to break you down. So instead, be brave, or at least look brave.

Concentrate on standing or sitting up straight and tall. Try not to put your shoulders back too much because this makes you look tense and, once again, scared. If you have an opportunity to do so, shake your shoulders and take a deep breath before the customer gets to you. If you don’t have a chance to do either of these, try to at least be aware of the position your shoulders are in and adjust them so they don’t appear to be stiff, but also not slouched.

If your are sitting at a desk, grab a pen or pencil, some paper, and give the customer a look that says, “I’m ready to be of service.” If you are standing, simply fold your hands in front of you or behind your back and give the customer that same service-offering look.

When you give the customer eye contact, it shows them that you are ready and willing to help them and, most importantly, not afraid of them. If you are too shy or maybe deep down you’re terrified of the approaching customer, don’t look them in the eyes. The idea is to make the customer think that you are truly giving them eye contact, so if you need to, look them in the nose or just above their eyes. You can look almost anywhere around the eyes and they will still think you are giving them direct eye contact. Be sure that you don’t stare at the person for too long though. You can give off an aggressive vibe by glaring at a person for too long. This is the last thing you want to do when dealing with an already angry customer. Give the customer a happy medium of eye contact. Let them know that you are willing to help by noticing their presence with an inviting look, but be sure to keep your eyes soft, and not glaring.

Now that you know how to speak to the customer with your eyes, don’t forget about the rest of your face. Try your best to relax the muscles in your face. This is actually done best by putting on a smile. Customer Service 101 says, “Always smile!” As corny as customer training sessions can be, they are right when it comes to the smiling advice. Before the customer reaches you (and has a chance to attack), smile and say, “Hi, how are you today?” Granted, you know the answer to the question already, but the fact that you asked shows that you care about them as individuals, and don’t think of them as just another customer.

The tone of your voice is everything in a situation like this. You want to sound overly pleasant at the beginning of this conversation in hopes of toning them down a little. By making your voice very cheery, it may cause your customer to calm down and talk to you less aggressively because they can see that you are not in “battle mode” yet. When a person hears an aggressive tone of voice, they are ready to fight, so if you don’t offer them that tone, they may feel that they should postpone their argument.

On the defense
You have opened up the conversation and the customer is ready to do the talking, or, in many cases, the yelling. In many cases, most customers just need to vent. Try to remember that they are human too, and when they get mad, they need to let someone know about it. In this case, you have been chosen as that lucky someone.

The customer will tell you exactly what happened that made them mad and may even step into your space to let you know that they mean business. If they do invade your space, try not to take a step back, as this shows weakness. The customer needs to see that you are cool and confident and can handle their situation. Just be sure that you don’t step forward into their space as this is seen as a threat. The last thing the customer needs at this moment is to feel threatened by you.

As they are talking to you, you need to keep your eye contact. Give them sufficient eye contact and nod to let them know that you are really listening. Do not overdo the nodding though. This can make you look nervous and show that you aren’t really listening to their problem. If you feel like you are staring at the customer while they are talking, try “the triangle.” This is when you look at one eye for five seconds, the other eye for five seconds, and the mouth for five seconds and continue the pattern while the person is talking. You should try this in other, more casual situations before trying it on an angry customer because you may find yourself concentrating so much on the triangle that you aren’t really listening to the customer’s complaint.

At this point in the conversation, you are most likely getting a little upset, because you are indeed human. You need to do a body check now…on yourself that is. Check your shoulders again. If they are tense, loosen them up. Check your face muscles. If they seem tight, relax them. Don’t smile at this point, but make sure that you are not gritting your teeth or breathing abnormally. Check your body language. Make sure that you are not crossing your arms or clenching your fists. If you pass these tests, then you are holding your ground well.

 Fight back
Once the customer is done telling you about their problem, your job gets a little bit harder. You can no longer just stand there and relax your muscles and expect to get away with it. Now you have to speak. If you feel that you are capable of handling the situation on your own, go ahead. Most managers love an employee that doesn’t have to call for them every time there’s a small problem. Handling the situation yourself also gives you practice and more confidence for the next situation.

Be sure that when you are explaining the situation to the customer that you are not using too many hand gestures. Hand gestures often enhance casual conversations, but in a situation like this, excessive hand gestures make you appear nervous and unsure of what you are saying. Your tone of voice is very important as well. To control your voice, try to imagine that you are explaining the situation to one of your close friends. If this doesn’t seem to work for you, try imagining that you are a teacher explaining the situation to a pupil. However, be careful not to pretend you are a preschool teacher. Customers don’t appreciate being talked down to as if they are seven year olds. This type of role playing will make your voice sound steady and informative, but also natural and concerned.

Once you feel that you have resolved the issue to the best of your ability, send them on their way. The customer will appreciate that you have helped them quickly and taken their time into consideration. Besides, by this time, you simply want to get rid of them, right? So go ahead. Apologize for their trouble and for taking up their time, thank them for being patient (even if they were everything but), and wish them a nice day.

If the customer’s complaint involves an issue that you are unsure of how to deal with or that you feel you need assistance in, don’t be afraid to admit this. Don’t pretend that you know what you are talking about if you really don’t. Don’t forget that the customer can not only smell fear, but also insecurity and sometimes even bullsh*t. The customer can’t expect you to know the answer to everything and will appreciate you putting them in contact with someone that does know how to help them. Simply let the customer know that you understand what they have told you, but that you would like to let them speak with your manager because he or she is much more familiar with the customer’s particular situation and will be able to help them better.

If you have to call your manager, be sure to do it in front of the customer and explain the customer’s situation to your manager over the phone. The customer will appreciate the fact that you are not sneaking in angry comments about their behavior to your manager and that you have truly listened to their story. Even more so, they will appreciate the fact that they won’t have to retell their story to your manager when he or she arrives. If you have to physically retrieve your manager, do so quickly and explain the situation to the manager when you return to the customer. Again, this way the customer knows that you listened to their problem and that they will not have to repeat themselves again. Once you have explained the situation to the manager, the problem is no longer yours. In most situations, your manager will deal with the customer on his or her own and you are free to go back to work. Just be sure to walk, and not run away.

Recover
Whether you handled the situation on your own, or resorted to calling backup, you have provided great customer service. But you are only human and you want to fight back. You stood there in front of that customer for what seemed like a lifetime and didn’t say one nasty thing when they were rudely yelling at you. Now, you want your turn, right? And you deserve to have your turn. Granted, it will not be as rewarding as actually telling the customer how wrong they are and how right you are, but it will simply have to do if you want to keep your job.

Depending on your personality and the situation’s severity, you may just need to take a few deep breaths and get back to work or you may have to go to the bathroom, splash your face with water, and sit down for a full five minutes. But whatever you have to do, do not vent to your fellow coworkers in front of other customers. This is very rude and self-destructive on your part because it will probably only cause the nice customer that is listening to you to become another angry customer for you to deal with before you have gotten a chance to recover from the last attack. If you need to vent to your coworkers do it in the break room or call your spouse on your break and vent to them. As long as you don’t anger another customer in the recovering process, you can do whatever you need to do (within reason) to clear your head and get back to a battle-free work environment