How to deal with someone with Bipolar
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It's not an easy task
Dealing with someone who suffers from Bipolar Disorder is not easy, there is no manual, and each person is different. Although being Bipolar myself it is not an easy task being Bipolar either. The number one thing to remember is patience.
Bipolar Disorder is like riding on an uncontrollable roller coaster, like a monkey jumping from tree to tree. We the Bipolar ones don't always realize how our actions effects others, when the chemicals in our brain start to run in overdrive there are so many different moods that we encounter that it is hard to establish realism vs. "just another mood swing". Sometimes our actions are not coherent to us, we believe in all sanctity that we are correct and everyone else is wrong.
If you are with someone you love, it is a full time commitment. You can't love someone with this disorder just when they are doing well. It is a lifetime commitment on both parts. We as the sufferers should be aware of changes in our mood and behavior as well as the people in our lives. Confronting someone with Bipolar and trying to tell them that they are wrong, or they are just having a mood swing does not better the situation for either party. You have to be careful, hurting their feelings when they feel as they are correct or are doing nothing wrong causes more stress, anxiety and escalating moods.
Dealing with a Depression Episode
If you are with someone encountering a depression episode, which usually follows a manic or hypo manic situation. They have crashed. The word crashed is one I prefer to use because it is the way you fell. Like you have actually lost feeling to your surroundings, we feel pseudo pain, require more sleep and there is no motivation for anything. No drive to get out of bed, leave the house, shower, go to work, just sleep, why? Sleep is as close to death as you can get and when we are depressed, those creeping thoughts plague us. What can you do? Be supportive, not argumentative, understand even if you can't. Encourage us to get up, be active but remember we have chemicals that are working against us, that don't believe that we can make it from the bed to the bathroom. The least little task is hideous, we become argumentative, because we ourselves don't understand why our bodies are failing us. Don't ever doubt that the depression is real, it takes control and inhibits our body like a virus, fortunately this too shall pass.
I remember a time a while back where I was hypo-manic and even myself who has worked endlessly for years to control it alone, crashed. I crashed right here on hub pages and everyone who read my hubs knew it. There were some who cared and emailed to make sure I was OK and that was like a breath of fresh air, although others call me crazy or the "one on meds". If you truly love the person who is suffering, never call them crazy and only bring up meds or seeing their doctor in very polite, understating ways. We will argue, we will eventually realize we are wrong, don't throw that in our face, this illness does not discriminate and a day in our shoes will change the way you think.
Promote positive ways to help overcome depression such as participating in Therapy, taking a long walk or understanding, even if you don't. You probably never will, no matter how many books you read, how many times you have studied it. Learn about Bipolar, you can't help someone if you don't know what the problem really is. Yes, we think we are right, no matter how euphoric our beliefs may be.
Let's say you are close to someone with Bipolar, forget they are Bipolar and consider them Diabetic. If they don't get their meds or a proper diet they will decline. The same with Bipolar Disorder. Sometimes it takes a helping hand, not a demanding hand.
Dealing with Mania
Mania is clearly the opposite of Depression. No sleep is needed. Days of no sleep is not abnormal but the things that a Bipolar Person does can sometimes be considered abnormal. Spending sprees, Euphoria, Increase in Sex Drive, these things can seriously damage a relationship and a person's view of self-worth. There are some percautions you may want to take if the individual is not capable of doing so. Money can be a real problem, especially in relationships. When you are Manic money means nothing, you spend it like there is no tomorrow on the silliest non essential things. My downfall was shoes. This is when I recommend that you stand your ground and don't allow your financial situation to decline. If the person is stabelized, mania can be controlled. The excessive talking and cleaning and not being able to be still can be nerve racking to some. Try to keep them grounded, in a very polite loving way. Remember we don't think we are doing anything wrong, In cases of extreme mania a medication change may be necessary, so you need to have a relationship as well with the Doctor. Be there to explain symptoms of mania and medication can be prescribed to keep them grounded. Being with a Biploar individual reuires a commitment on both parts, honesty and patience, more than what should be required in a relationship when Bipolar is not an issue.
Those aggravating mood swings
Regardless of how good you can control your ups and downs, mood swings will always be an issue. In Reality, everyone has mood swings. People get angry, frustrated, sad, mad, happy for sometimes no apparent reason. We just kick it up a notch a bit. It is normal, the only thing you can do is try to rationalize their point of view. Sometimes it is way off hand and sometimes, well we might just be right. Most people with Bipolar are very intelligent, very creative, and what I call "left brained". Their concept of things are sometimes not as clear as it may be to you. This is where patience and understanding plays a big role. The ability to walk away to avoid an argument, even if you are right and they are wrong and being able to understand why they fell that way. It takes a special person to deal on a day to day basis with a Bipolar individual, whether it is your relative, friend or companion. Patience is a must, but it is also the responsibility of one who suffers not to make others suffer as well, this includes taking meds, therapy, and avoiding alcohol, drugs, and other mind altering substances. Support the one you love, show them you care and understand. It will make all the difference in the world. Peace....
Other Hubs About Bipolar
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I've done it. I quit my job. Before having a new one to go to. Am I insane? Seems so. This decision was definitely not made based upon any type of logical thinking. Why? Cause I'm bipolar and couldn't... - Controlling Hypo-Mania with Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar Disorder is a bundle of moods and thoughts and dreams all wrapped up in to one nutshell you just can't seem to crack. Episodes of Depression weight you down like a trapped bear. Unable to move or...
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Comments
yes Brenda I do. Those are the fortunate times!! it usually runs in a 2 to 3 week cycle. now, i am neither, pretty stable.
hugs
dori
Thank you so much, Dori, for helping me to understand those who are Bipolar. Understanding is surely the path to treatment. You provide a resource for those who are trying very hard to cope with this condition.
Thanks Dohn,
I think sometimes it is overlooked that it is a serious illness but you can beat it, if you want to. I know I have had experiences where i was misunederstood and it was blamed on bipolar, regardless I still have opinions, feelings and quite frankly very intelligent. Those who discard those who have a mental illness are cutting themself short, I could list hundreds of very successful people with this disorder, I just hope it helps folks understand. thanks again, you are a gem.
dori
thank you so much for this information. I suspect (I won't mention names) that a very close friend of mine suffers from this condition. This information was very useful. By the way, how is your little one doing? I hope she's feeling all better now.
Veronica, Aaliyah is doing fine, she goes back to school tomorrow, or daycare, we call it school. She goes for half a day until I am sure she is up to it. We wil see! Thaks!
dori
Never had to deal with any bipolar person before, but surely your hub explains it all!
Shame,
you are too funny!
dori
Hi fortunerep, Love your widget, very nice eyes. I just happened' to land on your hub. Very well written. You do have a gift for writing. It is awesome how God says in his word he can turn ALL things for the good for those that love him. Your story can help many. Your writing gift is for a reason.
I never knew much about the illness. I know it is becoming a more ramped illness as time moves along. Around 25 to 30 years old are the more prevelent in bipolar. My nephew 25 years old took his life in July. He was diagnosed Bipolar in 2003. He never used meads. He and his father tried natural remedies. He seemed OK to me friendly, not up or down. NOw I see yes he was either very chatty or unusually quiet. He alwasy hugged and said I love you no matter his mood. I just realised this about Joseph. I know there was an anger issue. Your hub helped me understand the 'torment' he obviously went through. I never new until his passing but Joseph never tried medications. I have depression. It is controlled with prozac. I know how I felt prior to meds. I could not move, I was froze in a shell of time. It is a real intense illness. Bi bipolar is alot of the same but with a with a deeper intensity in the highs and lows. I am so grateful for my med prozac, Thank God. I felt like I could deal with life in a new light when I started on them. I could deal. I recall telling close friends I coud not move I was froze. They of no fault did not understand. I then felt 'crazy' as no on else could relate. I suffered so much. That is gone, past tense of many years. Since I do not release the chemical to fight depression just as a bi polar chemicals do ont work these are real illnesse's and not anything to mess with or try to fix by yourself. I tried a few times to go off meds, but to no avail in two weeks I was froze with many other symptoms. I have accepted meds. They were so expensive and many times I had no insurance but now they are dirt cheap. $4.00. Bipolar meds are not cheap but there are many resources to get them for no charge. If anyone has this contdition please help yourself. Please get help. Do not think you can fight this or that you have to live in the torments of the illness. . Do not be a Joseph. He is with the Lord he suffers no more. Others need you to share your story. Right now I am crying so hard because of the loss of Joseph. He had planned for 2 months. I think one of his his big worries was his fear of his own anger. Joseph it was not your fault.
My heart and prayer's goes to loved ones that deal with the bipolar. my prayers and love go to the bipolar.
I would try with all my heart to encourage the bipolar to take meds. Joseph (alias) name had excuses for not trying them. He had his dad convinced together they could study God's word and do the 'natural' route. What is a natural route? I do not know of one. God does do miracles, but we are not God. This is a very serious, deadly illness and left untreated can devastate families. My sister the step mother a master in Social Works tried but could not budge the dad or Joseph. I have a hard time understanding, but for the grace of God,Joseph very intelligent convinced his dad it was controlled. OMG I feel so much pain for my brother in law. I can not imagine his pain. It seems with time he is a bit better. I will just keep praying for Josephs family. I know what God says, he can heal, he provides miracles, he can turn all things for good, he will carry us when we can not walk, he will direct our steps if we let him.
I have a much deeper understanding of Joseph today because of your hub. You are touching many lives. Thank You for writing this. Thank God I landed here. I will pray for you and yours. I think you have much courage. You sound as if you have come far. You go girl. Keep on, as God has a wonderful plan for your life. I am a new fan. I will return.
Cheerio for 2day. Check my hubs when you get a spare minute or few. Love Ya.
skye2day,
My heart goes out to you for the one you lost. I have tried many times to go without meds but easily learned my lesson. I have to have them, no matter how hard it is to accept. Thanks so much for your inspiration, it does not go unnoticed.
hugs
dori
I've been coming across the term 'bipolar' more and more these past few weeks and I was just beginning to get curious about how people who are bipolar feel. Thanks for that very honest piece!
i am trying to save my life and health
I have a better idea of what people with bipolar go through. Thank you.
You are a good person and that is all that matters !
Ann and Feline
Thanks for stopping by, It is a challenge, but that is what life is all about. It makes me stronger, if you are willing to learn from your mistakes.
dori
flightkeeper, I hope this meakes u understand it better
Pirate girl, always a pleasure to hear from you, thanks, your preety good person yourself!!
King, I am slightly confused by your comment, it sounds like a cry for help, if you need anything, email me please.
dori
Very good hub, fortunerep. So much needs to be done to help bring more awareness to mental illness to help loved ones. Even more for those in the workplace. Thankfully we live in an age of more options, but still, there is no silver bullet for this stuff. You seem to have a very solid, good perspective about it. Looking forward to reading much more from you.
Nice hub. My wife is bipolar. I totally understand everything you stated. Her depressive moods only last a couple hours so I let her sleep and then she's fine, but the manic moods can last a week. I still don't know what to do about her spending. When I tell her not to spend she usually doesn't but she'll only last a week not spending on... well everything, LOL. Any suggestion there?
Pretty eyes by the way.
ur very beautiful fortun. This helped me alot i'm dealing with depression, bipolar, stress and aniexy. I also tend to forget thing's it is very nasuating. I even think that i'm ok and stop taking my medication too it can be a very bad habit as well. You just got to push yourself excerise and stay healthy, busy busy busy. Train. believe in yourself. It's still hard for me at time's. "Pain is weakness leaving yourbody"
I beleive I have an idea my ex boyfriend from like three years ago had this it was hard for us ... but we lasted long... I have a cousin who has this and we just do a lot of family get togethers so he wont feel overwhelemed or lonelly... really helps him. We do group family talk all of us like sharing relaly helps him. Reallly great post by the way something I cant totally understand since i was with my ex for like long time.
Oh yeah come follow me and my hubs and comment myhubs yeah..
I dont mean to be negative, but I have a son who is Bi Polar and in reading your HUB, I'm not beginning to wonder if these people are really human. You can litterly loose your mind trying to deal with them. Do you think a person should loose their own health and sanity trying to help someone they cant possibly help?
Daniel,
Thanks, it takes writing about it and talking about it. It is hard to talk to people face to face so this works for me, it can be controlled if they really want to. Having the correct Dr. is also important.
Thanks for stopping by,
dori
Jlspartz, thanks, well as far as the spending, until she starts buying a new car on the way home from work like I once did, sounds like she just shops too much!!! Us women do that. As bad as it may sound, you will just have to set some limits before if cripples you financially. Then you will have more problems, it sounds like you are patient and that's good but limits are definately necessary.
dori
Keith, thanks so much, taking your meds is very necessary but it took me along time to find a doctor who would prescribe just what I needed and not a bunch of crap I didnt need, you are right, excercise is great. It helps alot,
Lovely, if your son is thatbad that you feel that way then maybe he is not on the right meds or needs to be in a hospital to learn behavior modification. It is sad when it becomes a burden on the family, hang in there, there is hope, tell his doctor about the problems, no I don't think a person should put their life on hold or go crazy trying to help someone that can't be helped. He has to want to get better, without that he probably wont. Maybe he needs some extra care. Hope all goes well
hugs
dori
Collegegirl,
It is so great to have the family involved. It makes him feel more comfortable I am sure, it is a great way for everyone to understand him and what he is going thru, thanks for stopping by, come by again.
dori
My heart goes out to you, Dori, and to others who have added their thoughts and experiences, yet i have to question you on the amount and quality of therapy you are receiving or have received.
I won't go into any clinical discussion here, but just want to leave this with you: the "therapy" you are possibly receiving... Is it helping or did it help? If it is/did, what was helpful? If it didn't / isn't, I would also like to know.
You might ask, Dori, why I would ask these questions?
Well, it was my field of expertise for some time, and I am curious, and definitely would want you to be experiencing/to have experienced some good work with your professional helper(s)...
Please get back to me?
Dane,
I had behavior thereapy for 8 years, I have had it for 17 years so have realized the triggers, the stressors, and can control them very well. I do have my moments, but overall it is ok. I think for me there was just a runing point, where you have to decide if you are going to let the illness control you or control the illness. After years I decided to learn to control it and avoid anything that stresses me too much. I have studied to all, even the the chromosone that carries the gene, it also carries anemia, color blindness and dyslexia. It get s me on occasion but I control it.
My friends boyfriend has bipolar disorder, its rough on both of them but they are still together and hanging in there.
im 21years old and have been to the doctors this morning with these symtoms i have just accidently landed on this page and chose to read it.since age 14 ive felt different im at the point now where this 'difference' is taking over my life and ruining all my relationships.my doctors keep trying anti depressants and have now referred me to a specialist.i feel like my heads guna explode and i just want to get out of here feel like im holding myself down waiting for the help i need.but im scared how do they test you for bi polar
Amy,
Bless you, The opnly "test" for Bipolar would be a DNA test which is hardly ever done. The doctors go by symptoms. You should be prescribed a mood stablizer, (lithium, Depakote, abilify and there are more to get your chemicals balanced and sometimes, they can be discontinued and replaced with antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds. That is what worked for me. Please keep in touch, If you have any questions I will certainly try to help you.
hugs
dori
Thank you for this very informative hub on how to help and deal with someone afflicted with the bipolar disorder. I have had a few friends and a niece afflicted by bipolar or manic depressive disorder so I know how important it is for this kind of information.
Excellent hub and lots of terrific information in the comments as well. I think that this is a very serious health concern that more people need to understand to be able to provide support, compassion and effective strategies for friends and family dealing with the issue. I like your comment of thinking of it as Diabetes with regards to taking medications!
You know I love this Hub, know also I love it's author as well. Cheers for that fan, means a lot and well I feel like I have my friend back, take a hug !
You have provided a vast amount of information that is greatly appreciated. I am beginning to understand how it is to be bi-polar and how to relate to people who are afflicted through reading your hubs as one of many sources that I am relying on. Thank you.
Beth,
Just look at my avatar and tell me one reason why I shouldn't try as hard as I can to make the best out of what life has handed me. I just wish that people would learn to focus on the positive aspects of it. It just has to be controlled. Meds is a must, if you have someome close to you that is bipolar, be a friend and make sure they are taking their meds, you could be saving their life.
hugs
dori
Thanks for the advice. I have a really good friend that is bi-polar. This helps to understand what he is going through even more.
This is a very educational and passionate hub. The subject has interested me for awhile to understand what is going on and what it takes just to through a day sometimes. Thank you for putting this down on digital paper for us all.
Becca
This really resonates with me - Great Hub!
A close family member has this condition and she has been to Hell and back. Hospitalised, drugs, drink and worse.
The good news is she found positive help from an Occupational Therapist who helped her get back into normal living again. She got a volunteer job in a charity shop and then became the (paid)assistant manager. She then went back to University and qualified as an Occupational Therapist herself and is now working in the community mental health field with the NHS in London.
She believes that meds are important but so is self management. She is now making a real difference to the care of mental illness and regularly challenges the prejudices within the health care system.
As you say, many people with Bipolar are exceptionally talented and we need to respect and nurture those who suffer form this condition!
Hi,I too am bipolar. I've been on meds since 1989. I'm going to write a hub on my experiences as well, to help others. i never miss my meds. But it took till 2000 to find the right meds. My life was a rollercoaster till I got the right meds however. It's a brain chemistry problem. Nothing you can do except take your meds.
sandra, Becca, Rick and Linda, thanks all for the comments, If you I could write on paper every provoking and imaginable thought that crosees my mind it would take years. It is hard to grasp that creativty and hold onto long enough before it escapes me. It is like a shooting star. Meds and support are so important and it may take years to get your medication stablilzed. I have other hubs about Bipolar that I hope you find interesting, it may help you or someone you love.
hugs
dori
I had no idea that bipolar is a serious condition. I now have an idea on how to deal with such peoples.
I liked this hub. I found it helpful. I find that having a routine that doesn't change helps me. I used to sleep for months at a time. But I force myself to bed early and up early it makes a difference. You have to learn to live with it. But don't let it rule your life.
Thanks for writing this.
It is now proven scientifically that we become what we eat.
I was a severe case of bipolar and I cured my self from the curse by simply changing what I eat.
We are indeed what we eat because what we eat becomes the blood that fuel our veins.
I stopped eating sugar, stopped eating fast food, stopped drinking coffee and stopped smoking cigarettes. It took me 3 years to accomplish this major change in my diet.
Today, because I eat tons of raw fruits and vegetables, I am free from the mood swings of bipolar. Today, I wake up every morning happy. I am happy because my brain is alive with enzymes from the raw fruits and veggies I eat.
I love med rare steaks as well, blood from red meat is filled from amino acids.
To be a bipolar is to have a chemical imbalance in the blood stream. To free yourself from this curable disease can only be done if you become the best caregiver to your body and your brain. The more you research about what your brain and your blood needs, the healthier you become.
The pahrmaceutical companies and the medical world is drugging with legal prescribed drugs all the bipolar victims. The Pharmaceutical world is Corporate America making billons of dollars off of our back.
My mom died of a curable disease. She died of the side effects of the medications she was taking.
The doctors told her that if she stops taking her medications she would die. What the doctors did not tell her, nor the Pharmacist, is that if she continued taking the medications, the side effects would be her own death.
Voila !
I don't what to say, Only I hope they find a cure for it someday,
Corri, Lapis and Netty
Thanks for all your comments, and Lapis the way you seem to handle it sounds great, I am so glad it works for you.
dori
very educational hub thanls
here
By your hub i understand about the bipolar that is great job which you have done.
tiffnay & co,
yea, jewelery makes everything better!
dori
Khmohsin,
thanks. I hope that people will gain an understanding of this illness. Thanks for stopping by!
dori
It's "spending sprees" not "Spending spress, Euphoria, Increase in Sex Drive..."
Informative and thought-provoking article
Metronicity,
thanks for pointing out a mis-spelled word, always welcome~~~~
Filipino girls
thanks for your comment and stopping by,
dori
so i have a friend who might have this disorder. i mean he definitely has most of the symptoms that you have mentioned. but he doesnt know thay he has this disorder. and i am pretty sure telling him or even suggesting him that he might have bipolar will not help and he will laugh it off or get really upset with me. how do i help him?
gauriparakash.
If your friend has bipolar I am sure he knows that something is wrong. Maybe he don't want to admit it. He might already now and refuses to take meds etc. As long as he doesnt' become suicidal, there is nothing that you can do. Just hope it doesn't get that far, try asking him if he as ever heard of it, or talk about someone else with the disorder and see how he reacts.
thanks for stopping by,
dori
Thanks for writing this to help me, and everyone else out there understand bipolar better.
swosugrad09,
thanks to you as well, what school did you graduate? been sittting here trying to spell it out!
dori
\Brenda Scully says:
2 months ago
just a question my love..... do you have periods of time when you are neither high nor low.....