If you are the parent of a teenager who is depressed, obviously the first thing that you need to do is rule out whether this is a clinical depression that needs to be treated by a doctor, or whether this is a general depression that teenagers commonly go through. If the depression is of the more common, general kind, then read on. If not, stop reading and go see a doctor.

Ok, that said...If there is one philosophy that I live by with my children, it is that keeping them busy keeps them out of trouble. And by trouble I mean everything from drugs, sex, depression, fights, bad attitudes, watching too much T.V....whatever kind of general trouble that teenagers can find themselves in. When it comes to teenagers, free time should be forbidden in your house. This can be especially hard for working parents. If your teenager is coming home after school and spending hours alone, you are going to have to make some changes.

First of all, finding activities that your teenager can engage in gives them a sense of self and can pull them out of a depression quickly. Anyone would become depressed if they came home and sat around playing video games, watching T.V., listening to music or whatever else teenagers do in their "free" time. So step number one to pull a teenager out of depression is to eradicate free time from their lives. Get them involved in sports, music lessons, chess club, art, drama...whatever will get them out of the house and get them to start focusing their attention away from their own, depressed selves.

Once that is accomplished, take a look at your life and think about whether you as a teenager would be happy in the environment. Is your teenager spending a lot of time isolated and alone? Are they burdened by an overly strict environment? Is your environment not strict enough? Is there love and happiness in your home on a daily basis? Is there a structure and routine to your lives that they can count on? Do they have chores that they are responsible for that help them to gain a sense of accomplishment? Is your home a dictatorship, a democracy, or (as it should be) something in between?

Also, when our children were babies and toddlers, they couldn't tell us what made them unhappy--they just cried and we had to figure it out. When they become teenagers, we expect that because they have the ability to form sentences and put words to their emotions that they will actually do that--but very often they won't. Remind yourself that you only know about 15% of what is actually going on in your teenagers' minds and lives--the rest they are keeping from you for myriad reasons. And just because they can speak does not mean that they actually will. Sometimes you have to do a little searching and pay a little more attention to find out what is actually afflicting them. Sometimes there are genuine issues that you need to uncover in order to try to help them through it.

The final and perhaps most important thing to remember is that teenagers are masters of guilt. What you call depression in a teen may actually be a conscious attempt on their parts to drop a major guilt trip on you--this works especially well on mothers. We moms feel guilty about everything--we aren't spending enough time with them, we aren't able to buy them everything they want, we won't let them go out to a party until two in the morning, and on and on. Teenagers are absolute professionals when it comes to honing in on exactly how to "play" you with guilt--especially if you ever show them that you actually do feel guilty. How does this tie into depression, you ask? Simple--if you tend to react when your teenager is mopey and upset by coddling them and giving them what they want, then their "depression" may be a reaction to how you have conditioned them to act to get what they want from you.

Above all remember that teenagers are hormonal, emotional beings and no matter what you do, they are just going to get bummed out sometimes. If, however, your teenager is experiencing prolonged depression, taking some or all of the steps above can work wonders. If the depression appears to be more than an after school activity and a restructuring of your chore system can cure--seek help from your doctor or therapist.