As all disorders do, social anxiety disorder can be present in varying degrees. Medication may help some sufferers, although that may not be the right approach for all.

The following techniques are not associated in any way with any psychiatry-based approach to dealing with social anxiety disorder. They are simple techniques that anyone can use to feel more comfortable, become more sociable, and communicate in social situations.

Whether or not they are techniques can be put into practice by any one individual with social anxiety disorder depends on the individual and degree to which his social anxiety disorder hinders his functioning.

Technique 1:

Tell yourself that many people feel some degree of discomfort or uncertainty among strangers, and assume the stranger you encounter is just like you. Decide to treat that stranger the way you would like to be treated, and think of some small way to make him feel more at ease.

When you call upon your altruistic nature and take it upon yourself to be the one to make someone else feel a little more at ease you gain confidence, as well as take some control over the awkward situation.

You don't need to wait to meet someone new to use this technique, and practicing using it offers you the chance to experience social situations in a new way. Depending on the amount of time you spend with a stranger, and depending on the situation, think of appropriate ways to practice this technique.

For example, if you are in a long check-out line at the store, find some small, friendly, comment to make to someone nearby. It doesn't need to be more than that. The key is that you are the one to make the comment. Usually, the other person will respond with a similar comment. If he only smiles or acknowledges in some other way that's fine too. You aren't looking to make a friend. Your aim is to add warmth to a cold or dull situation.

While standing in lines look around for something that strikes you. In a store, if there's a big crowd make a comment like, "Everybody must have decided to come shopping because it's raining today." If there's something at all interesting, make a simple, brief, comment about it. For example, if there's a fidgety baby comment, "Even he's getting tired of sitting there."

Something else you can try is to offer to help someone in line. If someone is having trouble reaching something in his carriage, offer to help. If an elderly person is waiting in line behind you offer to let him go ahead of you. If you see someone drop a coupon be the one to say, "Did you notice you dropped that?"

These extremely minor interactions can be a safe way to practice, starting small. One of two things should result: Either you will gain a little confidence over time, or else you will become a little more skilled at overcoming your own discomfort.

If, on the other hand, you're in the doctor's waiting room you will have a longer stretch of time with strangers. On the one hand, there is no need to try to keep up a long conversation. On the other, this is a good opportunity to try to warm up the situation with a slightly "ramped up" comment.

Keep in mind that people often welcome a comment when they've been sitting in silence for too long. If, by any chance, the other person close by is someone who prefers not to chat that's fine. A simple comment isn't too offensive to such a person, as long as it remains a simple comment (rather than an attempt to engage him in conversation). What this means is that the person nearby either welcomes a little chat (in which case he'll respond enthusiastically and with relief) or doesn't want to chat (in which case he'll give a quick reply without encouraging further comments).

Use this technique any time you have a long wait around other people. Sometimes the other person will lead the conversation past your original comment, in which case what to talk about will be decided for you. Sometimes genuine conversations can come from these encounters.

What kind of comments are there to make to strangers in a waiting area? Look around. If there's wallpaper comment on how you tried putting up that kind but it was too difficult. If there's art, ask if the other person knows who created it or where it may have been purchased. If there's a bird outside the window say something like, "I'm watching that robin out there. It's bringing some kind of fabric to it's nest." (This kind of comment may encourage the other person to tell a story about the robins that build a nest in their yard, or the squirrels that invaded their loft, or a special they saw on the nesting habits of birds.)

Conversation subjects are in the ear of the beholder the way beauty is in the eye of the beholder. All you need to do is make a comment about something, and the other person will take the subject in some direction for you.

As with the briefer encounters in places like check-out lines, these longer encounters will offer practice at feeling comfortable talking with strangers. As you gain enjoyable experiences in settings with strangers you may find your thinking begins to change about these settings.

Technique 2:

Develop a mental library of things small things to say. Go over all the times you've ever waited in lines, been in a crowd, waited in waiting areas, been on a bus, or entered a roomful of party go-ers. Think of simple things you could have said. As you think of things you could have said you will probably come up with a set of standard things on which to comment. For example, the weather, the temperature in the room, the crowd, the length of the wait, a disaster in recent news, the other person's adorable child, the other person's pet, the decor, the last time you were there, etc.

Keep in mind that these should be neutral or positive remarks, unless you comment on an unpleasant situation with a little humor.

Once you have come up with your set of standard types of remarks think about them regularly. Think about them in the shower or on your drive to work. After a while you will have a set of basic types of remarks ready to adapt to future situations and use.

Technique 3:

Use gentle or dry humor. Not everyone likes life-of-the-party humor initiated by strangers (and we all know you are not the life-of-the-party anyway). Crude humor or mean humor don't go over well in situations with strangers. Gentle humor, used sparingly, can make a stranger laugh. Sometimes the stranger will come back with his own humor and make you laugh. Experiencing shared laughter with a complete stranger is a very positive experience.

I recall one afternoon I was shopping at a drug store for Halloween candy. Another woman was selecting hers, and she reached in front of me to look at one the bags of candy. She said excuse me, and I knew I had been standing there for quite a while. I simply said (with a dry-humor tone), "I need to find the kind I like because I'm going to eat the left-overs." My remark hit home for her, and she began laughing hysterically. She came back with her own story about how she waits until 7:30 to start eating the Trick-or-Treat candy, and we were both laughing. The simple act of picking up a few bags of candy had turned into fun for both of us.

If you are the kind of person who has a dry sense-of-humor share it with people you meet. Again, all it has to involve is a simple comment. Again, after you accumulate enough of these enjoyable experiences with strangers you will start to feel differently.

Technique 4:

Make it a point to make just a little chat with store clerks, servers, and others working at places you do business. That can be as simple as something like, "Ooh, I thought I lost my debit card," or something a little friendlier, like, "You must be tired by the time it gets to be this time of day." You can comment on things like the store's new debit card machines ("Hey - are these new? I like them.) or, again, the crowd or lack of it ("There's nobody in here tonight. Aren't you usually busy Thursday nights?) You don't have to hold up lines with conversation. A simple comment will give you practice (and get you better service much of the time as well).

Technique 5

Know your limitations but make the most of what you're able to deal with. Don't expect to give a speech to 500 people in the near future (or maybe ever). Break down the types of social situations and know which ones give you the most trouble.

If you're fine with one-to-one talk practice anyway. If you're comfortable at a restaurant with two friends, remind yourself that situation is not your problem. If parties overwhelm you keep in mind that all large groups of people are made up of smaller groups of people or else individuals. Plan to concentrate on functioning well with one stranger or in a small group of strangers. Remember that the largest of crowds (a theatre audience) are usually a matter of large numbers of people who are alone (so nobody needs to socialize) or else made up of people who are with friends or family (in which case, you will be with your friends or family too).

Remember that the talking with strangers does not require sharing personal information. All it takes is a casual remark - not "sharing".Remember that talking with new friends requires a little more sharing but not sharing of personal thoughts, feelings, or secrets. Essentially, the depth (or shallowness) of your remarks should be in proportion to the depth (or superficiality) of the "relationship" (which, in the case of stranger, isn't a relationship, but an encounter).