How to fix a bad relationship with your parents

Having a good relationship with our parents is very important for most of us. However, lets face it, relationships with parents can be quite difficult and complex. There is scope for lots of misunderstandings and conflicts. These basically stem from lack of communication in most instances. However, in other instances, communication itself can be the source of conflicts. For example, you don't want to get involved in a slanging match with your parents. That's certainly not the sort of communication you'd want to get going with your parents.

So, how do you fix a bad relationship with your parents? Here are some strategies that are drawn from my own personal experience in dealing with my mom and dad. Needless to say I've had problems with my parents as well (just as a lot of others).

For a start, I'd say that you analyze what the problem areas are in your relationship with your parents. Unless you know the problems, you are unlikely to get anywhere near solving them. So, get to work and draw up a list of the recent conflicts you've had with your parents and what triggered them off. Make a note of the things you've said or done that hurt them especially.

Having thus drawn up a list, try and formulate an imaginary response to each of the conflict situations and see which one suits the situation the best. The next time you are faced with a similar conflict situation, put your plans into action. Instead of getting sucked into a familiar routine of verbal or physical confrontation, try being diplomatic or keeping silent. Try perhaps to explain yourself in a sentence or two and then just refusing to get drawn into a slanging match.

You could then seek out your parents when they are calmer and then have a honest talk with them, explaining your point of view (they'd appreciate your doing so). Keep your parents in the loop, ask them about stuff. They'd feel involved in your life and appreciate your sharing things with them. Above all, respect them and speak to them politely (even if you don't share their point of view). Fixing a bad relationship takes time, so be involved in the process and not spoil it all away by having an outburst. Keep at it!!!