When someone hurts you in some way, what do you do? Do you seek revenge? Do you hold a grudge? Or do you forgive the person?

A common Christian prayer asks the Lord to "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us". But if you are not going to forgive people who do you wrong, does that mean God will not forgive your sins? I interviewed a devote Christian who chose to be known only by the name Kiki and she says No. She says that when you ask God to forgive you, he's not going to tell you "No! I won't forgive you! I keep forgiving you and you just keep sinning again! I have run out of forgiveness!" In fact, in the Bible, when Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother, Jesus said not 7, but 70 x 7. (Matthew 18:21-22) This means that we should forgive the wrong-doings of others an infinite number of times, just as our Father in heaven forgives us. This is not an easy task. Let's say your best friend sleeps with your boyfriend, how do you forgive that? I asked Kiki, and here is what she said:

"You can forgive somebody, but there is a such thing as loving from a distance. You don't have to restore the person to the position of being your best friend. There is a thing called discernment. Use that to know if you can trust the person again. Don't let your boyfriend be alone with the girl any more, but you can invite her to your birthday party. If I know someone is a big gossip, I'm not going to tell them all of my business. You can forgive someone, and still be cautious."

Is it important to forgive?

There is a prayer for peace by St. Francis that says "it is in forgiving that we are forgiven". To me, this means that when we forgive a person for hurting us, we are acknowledging that they are human, just like us, and they are going to make mistakes, just like us. So, when we forgive them, we are in essence forgiving ourselves for being human.

A huge weight is lifted off of your shoulder when you allow yourself to forgive someone. You no longer have to worry about looking over your shoulder to see if they are around. You don't have to cringe every time you see them, or avoid them. You don't worry about what you will say to them, or what they will do next. You just allow them to be, and you allow yourself to be. You can relax!

How do you forgive?

Forgiveness is a trick thing. In my humble opinion, there are three ways to forgive a person. Genuine forgiveness embraces all three methods, but people can forgive in one way or the other:

• Verbal forgiveness: This is forgiveness by just saying to the person, "I forgive you". It can be as simple as that. However, often times people perform this type of forgiveness and don't really mean it. Their actions don't reflect their words, and they don't feel it in their heart. Sometimes, though, performing verbal forgiveness can help you to accomplish mental forgiveness. When you form that verbal pact with a person saying, there is no trouble between us, a weight is lifted off of your shoulders and you don't worry about things with that person any longer. So, verbal forgiveness can be very effective.

• Mental forgiveness (AKA forgiveness of the heart): With mental forgiveness, you know that you have forgiven the person. You have already forgotten the offense and are ready to move on. Often times this forgiveness is achieved, and the person forgets to even peform verbal forgiveness. They take for granted that the offender already knows that they are forgiven. But people aren't mind readers, they need to know that you are OK with what has transpired. I recommend that once you have achieved forgiveness in your heart, you should then proceed to giving a verbal forgiveness to the offender so that (s)he does not have to remain in agony with the guilt over what (s)he has done. After all, it's not true forgiveness if you leave the person you've forgiven in pain, it is revenge.

• Forgiveness by Actions: This final type of forgiveness is just as it sounds. You forgive a person in the things you do. For example, if you are throwing a party, you invite the person. If you are in their neighborhood, you stop by for a visit. The anti-thesis to this would be revenge, that would be if you decide to slander the person's name, or repeat the offense at the person's expense. Forgiveness by Action is often down without performing Verbal forgiveness, by people who are not in touch with their emotions, especially men. A guy will wreck his friend's car, and instead of the friend saying "I forgive you" he just invites him to a superbowl party and it is understood that all is forgiven.

With that, I encourage you to forgive your brethren of their wrong-doings. Holding on to malice and anger only hurts the person holding the grudge. It stresses you out, and their are several medical conditions that can be caused by stress. So, take my advice, stay healthy and FORGIVE!!!