How to forgive a cheating spouse?
58you either do or dont!
I think it all depends on the situation and how it happend. I also think cheating falls on many levels. Meaning, you dont have to particularly have sex in order for it to be classified as cheating. So if you would like answer on If he should be forgiven for what he did, then obviously I would need some info. on what happened in more detail. Offcourse its up to you to share what you want about the matter. Hope to hear from you soon, and take a look at one of the blogs i posted in regards to a cheating husband. I would appreciate your comments aswell.
====sean=====!!!!!!!
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I think that if you are developing an emotional connection with a woman it is still cheating regardless of whether sex exists or not. Slowly you will find yourself even further from your wife,or significant other and leaving her more lonely than ever. With out relizing it you are abusing the relationship, how is that cheating you ask? Because you are cheating her out of her time, replacing someone else in that time you should be with her or him for that matter. Lets not even mention what things may lead on, and in time you just might find your self doing what you have claimed innocent at the time. Just take the Definition itself, it is defined as: TO DECIEVE BY TRICKERY!!! He mght say hes going somewhere but really going somewhere else" cheating you out of your time togather" and yes! aswell as adultry!!!
i totally agree with hasandaas... cheating isn't always about sex.
i'm now in a relationship with a guy who cheated on me but forgiven by me. the hardest part is the forgetting part. i haven't been able to forget until today. or perhaps, ever. forgiving is very difficult indeed, one should think twice to forgive cheating spouse.
my father is cheating on my mother since 1999 until now with the same woman. i'm the only child in my family who knows about it. i don't know whether my mother knows it or not. but it is a very difficult situation for me as their daughter to watch my father having an affair with other woman. it's also difficult for me to spend my teenager life protecting my mother's and my sisters' feeling, preventing them from finding out about my father's adultary, while facing the pain of knowing that painful fact.
so, it is not only difficult for someone to forgive their cheating spouse, it is also difficult for a child to forgive their cheating parent.
Thanks for your comment Dhita. I also want to say that i can imagine what your going through, and i know its something you have to live with everyday, knowing your father is cheating. However I dont think that its fair to you to have to, protect your family from finding out, plus take on and deal with what you had going on with your man, and then have to deal with knowing yourself that your dad is cheating. Its to much to take in all at once. I think that if something is going to happen, it will regardless of what you do! So if he get s caught in his game t hen so be it. Mabey it wil cleanse your mind a little to altleast not having to lock up this dark secret. Plus you have your life to think about too. I dont know how your relationship with your dad is, but you might want to talk it out, it could make you feel better. Mbaey he will stop out of shame? or mabey he will confess to everyone out of guilt? i dont know honestly with out knowing him,but you are a victim of his own intentional game..and t hats not fair!!!!
i really thank you hasandaas for you empathy... i think you're the first person who really understands how difficult it is for me. i'm touched by your writings, honestly.
the hardest thing is that... my father expose his adultary in front of my eyes. on my guitar recital, my father picked me up and his 'girlfriend' was sitting right next to him. i was then sit on the back seat of the car, holding my feelings and emotion and tears perhaps. after he took me home, i went straight out by myself crying out loud under the heavy rain. but he never expose his adultary to my sisters nor my mother. i never discuss anything related to this issue with anyone in my family, not even to the guilty party. i'm not sure that my father would ever admit his mistake or feel guilty about it. i've been praying to God for 10 years for my father to repent his mistakes.
i've been living with this horrible nightmare for 10 years. i've been protecting my family from tearing apart for 10 years while i'm damaging myself literally by smoking, getting drunk, driving while intoxicated, drinking pills, burning my skin with cigarette, slitting my hand, only to numb the real pain inside. sometimes i think i really need some 'help', but most of the people around me are underestimating my problems. but this situation makes me a stronger person, thank God. my belief helps me to survive and i'm proud of myself. it's not easy to be me.
hey dhita, i was glad you wrote back on the subject, and appreciate that you opened up a little, not necessarily for me, but for yourself even more. Its good sometimes to let things vent, or release. I can tell it eats you up inside,and your stronger than me in that case, because if i was in your shoes i dont think i could have bared seeing that all this time.I will say one thing though, The self abuse you put yourself through,such as: burniung yourself with cigs, drinking,and driving while intoxicated,which is scary enough to think about just that alone.I look at it this way, No matter what your doing to yourself, its not going to make your dad stop any time soon, meaning if your going through pain emotionally or physically doing it to yourself, your the one whos at risk here not him, hes living the life he is obviously content living, hes happy and isnt really caring about what its putting you through. SO i say instead of had put your life on hold for the last !0 years! I think you owe it to yourself to gain your life back...after all at least thats one thing you can control and decide what you want to do with it, and no one can take that away from you. Its the one thing you can guide and gain self reward at the end, but only you can do it. If you dont then you let all your gaurds down and feeling even more helpless..
Trust me, when the world seem like it closed all its doors, and y ou dont see a way out, there is,not today mabey or tomorrow,but in time i promise it will flash a light, and it will lead you to the right path,and it all starts with you.
thank you (again) for your inputs. thank God i've stopped hurting myself, especially since i left home. i live in different city from my parents rite now. it's difficult for me to leave my mom thou, because now i can't protect her anymore. but i find myself becoming a better person, living apart from them. but i still smoke cigs thou.. i quit, but then i started smoking again when my current bf cheated on me. it's wrong, i know. but that's all i do.. i don't hurt myself anymore and i stay away from booze.
i really hope that all these "experience" will indeed lead me to the right path as you've said. i may not have a normal teen life like any other teenager... i may not have a normal family like any other children... but i'm still very grateful that God has given me a great strength to survive. thank you for supporting me... the world needs more people like you, hasandaas ^^
hi my bf at the time was living together happily and after a yr and a few months he ask me to move back to my parents becuz he said i was too jealous so i did but we stayd in a relationship but then one nite i kept callin him n he didnt answer and finaly i just showd up to his house to c if he was ok so he broke up with me.......n a friend of his and mine saw me the next morning and said she saw him at the bar and he was with a girl....i confronted him and he said that it was just sumone he met there so i just said o.k fine but then he went to movies and stuff with her and on the oter hand he was like oh i still luv u i just cant be with u so i just stayed with him as a booty call and still helped him pay his bills and stuff and he borrowd my car to hang out with friends n he told me he wasnt seeing anyone and i really beived him becuz he wudnt lie..i mean he has always said the truth no matter how bitter it was then we stayed just friendz for about 7months and i didnt see ne one else....one day i just had enough and told him that if he wasnt gonna be with me then i am not gonna be there either..so he said that he wasnts to get back with me n we did and then a month later got married and now have been together for almost a yr......but whats bothering me is that recently i was talking to sum friends and they told me how he was playing me and using me to get his bills payd and also the two girls he is best friendz with had sex with him while they partied and i confronted him and he said it was all true and also he said that he loves me and is sorry bout the...but i dont know if i could forgive him...and since we r married theres not much i can do except file for a divorce if needed.....please help he decide if i should trust him again
chinemeremz says:
14 months ago
what is cheating then if no sex was commited?
please explain more...