How To Find True Love

You are not in this life alone. This is something I have to continually remind myself of when I'm struggling with the little things in life. I'm good at the big traumas in my life. I'm good at the both the big and little traumas in your life. But, I will admit, that the little trauma that happen every day get to me more than I would like. I was reminded that I am not alone in my fears and my struggles as I listened to Oprah and Eckhart's third class.

Here's what happened. I tried to ask Eckhart a question, but my email would not go through. Oh well, I thought. Then, two questions later, a woman from half way around the world asked the very same question. I was riveted to my computer screen.

Her issue was knowing she shouldn't eat, drink or do certain things because they are bad for her. But, she does them anyway. Oprah chimed in that food was her nemesis in very much the same way. When I get frustrated over issues like my email doesn't work, my first impulse is to go get a donut. Often, I go and get them only to feel bad later and ridicule myself for such stupid behavior.

It is my ego that is driving me towards donuts because I can control that situation - well at least the getting and consuming of them. By giving into my donut impulse I am not accepting the situation at hand - like my email doesn't work. I am avoiding the NOW. I am avoiding what is.

You would think that by now I would have learned that it takes more than two donuts or even a couple pastries from the fancy French bakery to fix my email. It takes my attention, my time and my energy. It doesn't help to judge the carrier or the hosting company. What works starts with one word - acceptance.

A few years back I took an Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Profile. I was excited to hear the interpretation. It revealed that I was emotionally intelligent in crisis situations. It also said that in daily life I could greatly benefit from counting to 10 before reacting.

Tolle says take three breaths, but do so consciously. Tolle previously told us that being aware of your breath forces you into the present moment - the key to all inner transformation.

But, I don't want to be conscious of the present moment - I just want it to be different.

Tolle characterizes the compulsive urge within you as an energy field. I've heard these energy bodies described as demons or diseases, such as alcholoism or compulsive overeating. Exorcisms are dramatic actions directed at eliminating those energy bodies (demons) from our energy field. Recovery programs are slower less dramatic ways of eliminating these urges.

Thinking of a compulsion to eat a donut or have a drink or sit or win a bid on eBay as an energy field that has taken up residence in your body rather than a statement of you as a person is a freeing perspective. It's not about you or me; it's about an energy field within each of us. You are not a miserable wretched individual who can not get it together to stop. You are a person being controlled by an energy field.

I'm going to try that ‘thought' perspective and see how my ego does. If you try this, and I hope you do, I would love to hear your experiences.

My guess is that it'll work sometimes and not others. I am giving myself permission (and you too) to not condemn yourself for failing, for not being able to do it right. Who knows what right is in the grand scheme of life? What's right in my book is setting a conscious intention to become the real you in the timeframe that is right for the real you. It's not about the ego you.