I've known her since she was 5 years old. She's 15 now. When she comes to visit us, she follows rules we have set for everyone in the family. I think because she knows that if she does, she will get lots of priviledges.

She's incredibly beautiful, inside and out, and I make sure to tell her that often. As a stepmom, I try to be more of an "aunt" to her than an actual Mom. She has a Mom, and I would never try to come between them for any reason.

I also make sure her own father disciplines her. If I see something that needs taken care of, I let him know, and he deals with it.

Finally, she being the child, and me being the grown up, I feel that she hasn't got the maturity to handle things (like jealousy over her father, or step siblings) as much as a grown woman would. I try to always keep that in mind. If she gets jealous that I spend what she feels is too much time with her dad, I back off a little.

I don't know if this helps, because I realize all circumstances are different. I do know that I'm glad she's in my life.