How to live with bad credit : Living large and in debt

Having bad credit is liberating. It is like missing the first day of school and never having to be bound by the binds of a perfect attendence record. The pressure of trying to keep something perfect or even acceptable is too much to bear in a chaotic society. How much easier would life be if we could just fart when we wanted to, call out when the mood stuck us or even could urinate whenever the bus came to a stop? Having bad credit affords us the liberty and freedom that our forefathers had in mind when they drafted the Constitution. They told the King of England to suck his tea tax and yet we cower whenever some gum chewing GED candidate trys to bully us over a Best Buy balance.

Give a man a fish he eats for a day, give a 21 year old a charge card and he watches MTV and sega on a widescreen. I didn't even want a charge card back then. I went to the counter to buy some CD's and they waved a brochure in my face that promised 10 percent off if I filled it out. I may have a problem paying people their money but I sure didn't have one when it came to taking it so I filled it out. Sir you have been approved for $1000. Back in those days internet companies would give you 500$ towards a purchase if you signed up with them for a year. I figured since I had no intent on paying a charge card bill, I could use the MSN bill to whipe my ass of anything the Best Buy bill may have missed. I walked out of that store like a redneck hitting the lottery. I had a big ass tv, a sega, surround sound speakers and 12 cd's. All for signing my name. They still send me bills.

Fast forwward 16 years and copy and paste the above scenerio 84 times. Substitute Best Buy and the electronics with everything from clothes to car repair to insurance to car loans. My mountain of debt only grew, as did my distain for companies that prey on bad credit. When they offered me a car loan for 18% I had no choice but to take it. 18% meant that I could be as late as I wanted and they couldn't raise it any higher. I mean what did they think when they saw my application? Was there something hidden among the 12 pages of chargeoffs that inndicated I was a candidate for financial reform?. So now I have to deal with them almost weekly because they want to secure a payment weeks before it is due and then after they realize I gave them a bad card they want to secure that payment and the next months.

When they call me the first thing I say is " Before you say anything, I am required to tell you that this call is being recorded under advisement of my attorney and several government agencies. If you do not with for this call to be recorded, please hang up now" If they stay on and insist on trying to intimidate me I just play into it.

"sir, I need to secure a payment right now"

or what?

"or this will go into collections"

aren't you collections?

"it will go onto a different level"

Level? Why what floor are you calling me from?

"sir you don't want this to go on your credit report"

Have you seen my credit report?...Ever heard of the term drop in the bucket?

"if I do not secure a payment today, there is a chance we may come and take the vehicle"

Really? Can you wait a few weeks, I plan on driving it to Bermuda.

"Sir if we take possesion of the car you will be responsible for the balance"

I will huh...But don't you sell the car at auction?

"yes Sir, and you will have to pay us the difference between what you owe and what it sells for"

or what? (silence) How much is the payment I owe you now?

"415.00"

If I can't come up with $15 now, how long do you think it would take to get $3000 out of me? "

Sir, I need to secure a payment"

(rattling a jar full of change) how many nickels is $415?

I finally hang up. They can come take my SUV, Ford is almost giving away Expeditions because of the gas crisis and I have a brand new set of crayons and 7 fake references ready for my next loan application.

Living on a dime: Gret series on how to live better for less

Credit Secrets Bible: #1 credit course in America

Read more at Funnebone.com