How to make money writing comedy on the internet.

Being a comedy writer isn't easy. Writing comedy is as grueling as it is cathartic. Like the end of a bout of constipation, the relief of the final product is preceeded by strain, pain and pressure. Writing comedy on the internet is not the easiest way to make money but with plenty of work, determination and a thickened skin, comedy writing can be profitable. Writing comedy for the internet provides a different challenge than for television or the movies. Humor writing online is pure in the sense that you hold the cards as to your exposure and audience and in most cases you can avoid having to sell your soul to a producer or editor. If you drea, of making money writing comedy online and you have the talent to do it, follow these steps and you soon will be making people laugh while making money.

Have you ever gone to a karaoke bar and sat in amazement as you watched people sing in front of strangers with voices that would be better off calling out bingo numbers? These people think they can sing just like I think the girl working at the drug store secretly wants me to kiss her feet. Ego is an amazing part of us. So before you go running off thinking you are the next Lenny Bruce, make sure someone other than your bartender gets your humor or you will be that guy singing while everyone goes to the bathroom or worse yet the guy who is banned from going to the drug store during the morning shifts Monday through Thursday.

If you need help tuning yourself..I mean your humor, check out the "How to be Funny Guide"

Apparently you are either funny or totally dillusional...in either case you're going to do well.

First..Bookmark this page. I am going to give you a ton of information and lead you on a crazy oddesy and most likely one of us is going to get distracted so lets agree to meet back here on this page. You can click here to open the article up in a new window so you can come back to it when you screw everything up

Now that we have established are meeting point..we can talk about something very important....me..

I was somewhat of a late bloomer. I was 6'0 by the time I was 16, lost my virginity somewhere between 9th grade and rehab at 21 and became a Doctor somewhere along the way. You would think that with my greek like stature, charming dimples, calming disposition and above average intellect I would be somewhat humble in my fantasy world but that just isn't the case. I was always sarcastic, sometimes to the point of being mean. I didn't learn to control my biting wit until sometime in my late twenties and it took a few more years to learn how to do something with it other than get into bar fights and thrown out of classrooms.

When I first got the Internet I was amazed not only at the copious amount of pornography and fat chat chicks. After several months of using the net for purely sexual and gambling addiction related activities I found that I could express myself through writing. I wrote in chat rooms and message boards before stumbling upon Hubpages which provided an easy to use interface and an active community. That's right...it all started here!

To make it short, Hubpages along with Squidoo are the best places to start. Each provides great tools along with hot chicks and mucho traffic. Your next step, if you haven't signed up to Hubpages, is to get an account. You can sign up here a little later after I talk more about me.

My first few articles were not funny. I wrote about serious things because I thought I could make money off talking about shoes and back pain. I didn't make any money and I was bored writing about what I do all day at my office. It was then that I was struck with inspiration. Before I became an upstanding member of society I worked in nightclubs...well strip clubs....and it was much more fun to write about boobs compared to backs so I wrote my first humor article: Pole Dancing Classes to make women sexier ?

It was a good start. I wrote a few more boreass pieces before my grand premier: How to make your stripper girlfriend presentable to your family

This was my ticket to the ball. Once a few people from Hubpages left comments the views started coming and then I posted a link on several Craigslist sites and I had hundreds of hits. From there I churned out articles and my reputation grew to the point that I was given the distinction of Funniest Hubber on Hubpages.

I am telling you all of this not only to stroke my ego, but to show you that it all starts little..you have to plant a seed somewhere, just like your daddy did.

So now you have your starting point: Join Hubpages . In a minute I am going to talk about a guide that helpied me to get my site up and going and how to draw traffic. It is one of the best guides I have seen and I bought a bunch of crap trying to learn about the internet. The Ebook states that Hubpages is the key to any blog and you will have to have a blog if you plan on building yourself up as a comedy writer.

This is another link you will come back to: Bloggers Paycheck

This is the best book out there for building a blog. It takes you every step with so much detail you'll think your hearing your Aunt Lois talking about her corn removal procedure. The information supplied by the book will fill in the gaps between getting a hubpages account and my next subject: Me

Once I had my Hubpages stocked with some good material I went stalking around the internet looking for other funny people. Bloggers Payroll walks you through ways to build traffic but I was doing it the hard way..one site at a time. I offered to write for blogs and sites who I thought had the same depraved humor that I did. None of these paid, but they did provide links back to my articles, my blog and eventually my website.

Craigslist want ads are full of people who want to have a website but lack the content to build one. It is a complete waste of time to write for a site that has no traffic coming to it. Concentrate on your own Hubpage articles and your own blog first. After you have enough content to captivate a suiter, go whore yourself around and if email some better sites asking if they are looking for writers. 

Take a break and go urinate into something other than that empty Mountain Dew bottle.

So in review:

• You need to be funny
• Open a Hubpage account
• Start writing like you are on death row
• Buy Bloggers Paycheck and follow the instructions
• Send me some money
• Go to the next section

The following are some great sites to hang around on to meet people and post links back to your site. DO NOT SPAM COMEDY SITES. This means don't join a forum and just post links..people hate that and will ream you out. Learn how to post signature links..these are html coded links back to your site.

Go Visit:

Funnyordie.com  Active forum with talented people. Don't waste your time blogging here but do write teaser blogs with links back to your work.

Cracked.com One of the few sites that features a good combination of video and print comedy. Pipeline lets you post links and so does the forum.

SpecialKindofStupid A great site with variety..you can blog back to your work also

Atom.com I am going to become more active here. They have a great marketing department and work well with others ( unlike National Lampoon).

FunnynotSlutty This is a site ran by a Jewish girl living in Atlanta that I met on funnyordie. We worked together on a few projects. She will share links with you if you have good stuff and will hellp you if you have a bagina but not if you are looking for vaginas. Go here if you are a women.

RegretfulMorning An up and coming site that features great college humor. The link will bring you to one of my stories. The guy who runs the site is really cool and always looking for contributors. Tell him I sent you.

This section could go on all day..I will write a new Hub targeting funny sites to go to but for now you need to concentrate on building your site and blog.

The three main ways you will make money are:

• Affiliate Marketing
• Google Adsense
• Banner Ads

Affiliate Marketing is where you sign up with a company and promote their product. If you have a link to there product in your article and someone clicks on it, you get a percentege. This is a challenge when it comes to writing humor based material because you want to be funny without ripping on the product. My best exaqmple of this is my post on Liquid Trust .  I make pretty good money off of this article when I go out and promote it.

There is plenty of information about affiliate marketing here on Hubpages but I used this program TheRichJerk which explained everything in a sarcastic and degrading fashion ( a program after my own heart)

Google Adsense are those ads you see at the top of this page. Google scans the text and assigns ads related to the topic. If someone clicks on an ad, I get money, not a lot, but it builds up over time. Go here to sign up. Adsense is it's own monster. Once again look around here on Hubpages for help with using it.

Banner Ads can not be used here on Hubpages but you can put them on your site or blog. Try to pick products that either go with what you are writing about or target the rejects that you will have coming to your site. I like Share-A-Sale for my affiliate links and banners because they are easy to use.

Don't worry...it will all make sense as you go along. Bloggers paycheck will hold your hand as you create a site, The Rich Jerk will tell you how to make money with it and I will wipe your ass along the way. Remember Content is King! Keep writing until you find your groove. Everything isn't going to be a homerun. Keep plugging away and looking up skirts..err..knocking on doors and it will pay off.

If your stuff is good I will post a link on my site and talk you up. Email me through my site Funnebone.com if you have questions or want to send me money. Now get working.